Suitcases
by ceyaro
Summary: it's a sequel to the eyes say everything, it's 8 years in the future : disclaimer: i do not own any of the corrie characters ;
1. Chapter 1

**Chapter 1**

**Sian pov**

"Knock knock"

"Oh hi you're early" Sophie said to me as I shrugged.

"Yeah I had… an appointment today I thought you wouldn't mind" I said trying to avoid contact.

"Where are they" Sophie asked me.

"Oh well they haven't been here in a while and Matty wanted to see his toys and decided to take Lily with him" I stated as Sophie nodded. "You sure you have time to…" I started saying as Sophie sighed.

"YES Sian I do" Sophie said sternly.

"All right well I'm gonna go then" I said as I headed off.

…

I had been waiting for Laura to come back from the bathroom when she spotted Rosie at the other side of the road in a bar. I sighed. "Not again" I thought.

"Hey sorry to keep you waiting" Laura said to me as I was snapped back to reality. "So what kind of work do you do?" she asked me as I smiled and answered. "Uhm I own a flower shop" I smiled as Rosie caught my attention again.

"O cool, well I'm a lawyer…" Laura started saying to me. I didn't know why I came, my heart isn't in it, and I was nowhere near ready to get back into the game. I fixated my gaze on Rosie who seemed to be splattered _again_. Rosie had been an alcoholic for a couple years now. I sighed once more at the view.

"I'm sorry I can't do this right now" I said to Karen as her face turned to disappointment. "Look I just… my sis… a friend of mine seems to be in trouble, I'm sorry" I said to her as she just smiled at me.

"It's fine" she said shyly.

"I should go I'm really sorry I'll call you okay" I said to her as I left the pub and entered the bar from across the road. My breathe hitched as I saw Lily sitting next to Rosie in her stroller.

"Lily?" I said in utter shock as she rushed to her daughter's stroller. "Mummy" the two year old mumbled happily.

"Baby, what are you doing here" I said to her as anger washed over me and I tried to wake Rosie.

"Rosie what the hell is Lily doing with you and in _here_" I hissed at her.

"Sophiiieee shee asked me to wwatch them" Rosie slurred as I started frowning.

"WHAT! Hold on where's Matthew" I asked her as she started to close her eyes again. "ROSIE!" I screamed at her. I couldn't believe Sophie, the one time she was supposed to watch them; she passed them on to Rosie. I was fuming with anger.

"Fuck sakes" I muttered as I held Lily in my arms. I started circling the bar as I finally spotted Math behind a pool table. I sighed in relief until I saw a man shoving a beer glass in his hands.

"Matthew Webster get them hands away from that beer glass" I said angrily as the 8 year old turned around and grinned.

"Sian" he croaked out as he ran over to her and wrapped his arms around my waist. "I wanna go home" he whined as I tried to sooth him.

"We are… we're going home, I just have to have a word with the owners okay" I smiled at him. I took him by the hand with Lily in my other hand. I put Lily back into her stroller. "Watch your sister" I said to him as she went over to the bar.

"I wanna speak to the owner now" I spat at the bartender. The man gestured to a rather tall bloke to come over.

"Is there a problem" he said as I turned around.

"YES there is actually, since when do you let children in bars" I snapped at him as he started to get uncomfortable.

"Well we don't normally, but Rosie said they were family and…" he started trailing off.

"Rosie, ROSIE doesn't have a leg to stand on" I screamed at the owner as I pointed at Rosie. "I should report you to the authorities" she shouted at him as his gaze turned to fear.

"Look there's no need to do that" he said as I scoffed at him.

"And why not, why shouldn't I? You've not only fed my sister in law's addiction but now you've also put my children at risk" I spat at him.

"Please don't" he pleaded.

"Fine, but if I hear you've been serving her drinks I'll report this" I snarled at him as I pointed at Rosie.

"Come on you two" I said calmly as she took Matty by the hand and I pushed the stroller out of the pub. I couldn't get my head around this. Sophie had them for this weekend, I knew Sophie couldn't be bothered with spending time with her children, but I thought Sophie was a bit more responsible and would at least look after them.

"Sian are we going home" Math asked me as I nodded. "Real home? Or the apartment" He asked me as I sighed and closed my eyes. He wasn't handling the separation very well and I was trying my best to make it better for him.

"Look we'll go to the house to get your stuff and then you two are coming back to the apartment with me" I said to him as he furrowed his brows.

"Can't you just stay home with us and mum" he asked me as I stopped my pace and crouched to his level.

"Matty we've been over this, you know I can't… your mum and I we…. We're not… we already explained all this to you" I sighed trying to calm him down but he pulled his hand away from mine.

"I think your explanation is a load of rubbish" he said as my eyes almost popped out of my head.

"Oi watch your language, where did you hear that word anyways" I asked the lad as he just shrugged. I sighed. "Matty…Math look at me" I said as he turned his gaze to me.

"I still don't understand it, you said…." he muttered as I embraced him in a hug. "I know… it's complicated, I just want you to know your mum and I still love you and your sister as much okay" I said to him as he shrugged again. "Come on babe" I said as I got up and led him to the car. I put my two year old in the car seat, made sure Matty had his seatbelt on and drove to the house. I had bought that house with Sophie when lily was born, the apartment had become too small. The memory of the day we signed the contract made me smile, but also made my heart ache.

…

"_Omg babe it's amazing" She said to me._

"_Yeah it is" I laughed at Sophie and Matty who were jumping up and down. _

"_Come on Sian jump" Matty said to me but I shook my head as Sophie explained to him that I couldn't jump cause of the pregnancy, my belly was too heavy. Sophie left the bed and came over to me. _

"_Hi" she grinned. _

"_Hi" I replied as Sophie put her hands on my belly. _

"_What do you think" she asked me. _

"_I think it's expensive" I stated as Sophie snaked her arms around her waist. _

"_Yeah but we can afford it" Sophie sniggered. _

"_You__ can afford it" I stated as Sophie sighed. _

"_Babe we've been married for 5 years and you still don't get the concept of what mine is yours do you" she smirked at me. _

"_I just want to pay my fair share that's all" I said as I looked at the ground. _

"_You are paying your fair share, and If you want you can pay me the amount of money I'm putting in back in kisses and lots of rounds of steamy hot sex…" she started whispering in my ear as I felt herself getting turned on. Those pregnancy hormones were making me very horny much to Sophie's delight. _

"_Really?" I smirked as I raised an eyebrow. "Are you gonna put that in the contract" I sniggered as I kissed her lips gently. Sophie reacted and let her tong caress mine. She moaned as I tangled my hands in her hair. We were snapped back to reality as someone cleared their voice. _

"_Uhm here is the contract if you would like to take a look at it" The salesman said as we both started chuckling. _

"_Yeah thanks" she replied. She looked at me with her puppy eyes. "So are you in" she asked pouting her lip as I started laughing. How could I resist my wife when she was pulling a face like that?_

"_All right" I said as she grinned and kissed my lips passionately. _

"_I love you" she said to me._

"_Yeah I bet you do…. I love you too" I replied as she pecked my lips._

…...

**Sophie pov**

I was having a business date and I was already regretting letting Rosie watch Lily and Math, but she had begged me to trust her for once in her life and I had given in.

"So here is the contract you'd have to sign if you want this job" Martha said to me as I nodded. I wasn't sure if I should take this job, my mind was all over the place until I heard the door open. l looked up and saw Sian enter the house with Math and Lily by her side. I frowned, what are they doing with her?" I thought. Sian seemed really angry as she threw the keys on the table.

"Busy night" she smiled fakely.

"Uhm no I mean yeah kind of" I answered honestly. She nodded angrily and looked at Martha.

"Oh and you're here too" she snarled at the assistant.

"Hi Mrs. Webster" she said shyly to her as Sian put on another fake smile.

"Don't mind me, I'm just here to collect their stuff and then I'll be on my way" she said angrily as she looked at me. I frowned; it was my week why was she taking them.

"What? What do you mean, I'm supposed to have them this week" I said to her as she scoffed at her.

"Really? Then what were they doing with Rosie IN A BAR Sophie?" she snapped at me. "Matthew take your sister upstairs" she said to our son as he did as he was told. My mind was rambling "A bar, Rosie oh no she was in a bar again and WAIT with my children, o god" my mind screamed.

"What! Martha could you…" I said to her as Martha made her way into another room of the house. She had been doing that for months now, ever since the night Sian left.

"What do you mean, how is that possible" I said taken aback.

"Possible? Well I don't know Sophie how about when you trust OUR children to a drunk" she spat at me.

"I'm sorry; she had begged me and… I had a work thing…" I said quietly as she sighed.

"Yeah…. something was more important than your family…. again" She said quietly looking at the papers that were lying on the table. The anger seemed to be replaced by disappointment and hurt.

"That's not true my family's more important to me than anything" I defended as she scoffed at me.

"O are you still playing that record" she snarled at me as she passed me. Every single time my heart broke as I saw Sian's eyes. Eyes that used to be so full of love were now full of anger and hurt.

"Sian…" I said as I took hold of her wrist. I had been trying to get her to stay, talk to me every single time.

"Don't Sophie, I'm gonna get their stuff ready and then I'll be on my way" she stated but I didn't let go of her wrist. She couldn't just take them it was my week.

"What? Ughh for fuck sakes Sian they're my children too" I stated as she gave me her death glare she grew accustomed of using on me.

"Then start acting like a bloody mother" she snapped pulling her wrist from my grip. I felt my heart shattering in 100 pieces, I didn't even know how much my heart could break anymore, but it did every time.

…

"Bye mum" Matty said quietly as he hugged me. I gave him a kiss on the cheek and gave Lily that was nestled in my arms to Sian.

"Uhm I'll bring them back in 2 days so you have time to sort out your schedule" she said coldly. I gulped and got up.

"Sian" I said quietly. "Don't go" I whispered as I felt my voice crack. I wanted her to stay so badly, I knew I screwed up, but I just wanted her back.

"I'll see you Sophie" she said as she walked out of the door with Math on her right and lily on her left.

After they left I opened the liquor cabinet and took out of bottle of whisky. I poured myself a glass and sat at the kitchen table. I took a sip and let the liquor burn my throat, it seemed to numb the pain at the bottom of my stomach that I had ever since Sian walked out on.


	2. Chapter 2

**Chapter 2**

**Sian pov**

"Matthew you need your breakfast so sit your butt down at this table" I said sternly as he came back from the telly sulking and sat at the table.

"Here you go… scrambled eggs" I said happily as I gave him the plate, but he didn't seem too impressed. He started playing with his food.

"Not hungry this morning…. I made your favorite" I stated as he shrugged. "Babe what's wrong" I asked as he looked at me and rolled his eyes. He had grown used to doing that and it made him look so much like Sophie. I sighed and poured him some orange juice.

"So are you doing anything special at school today" I asked him as he just shrugged. I sighed again as I gave Lily her breakfast. "Here you go baby" I said to her as she ate her fruit bowl eagerly. I noticed Math still hadn't touched his eggs. "Matty you do realize you're not gonna leave this table until you've finished that" I said leaning on the table. He frowned as he started putting big pieces of it in his mouth. "Babe slow down you'll get a tummy ache" I said but he already finished it.

"Done" he mumbled as he got off his seat. I frowned, I was about to go after him as the phone rang.

"Uhm hello" I said distracted by Math stomping his feet as he went to his room.

"Sian it's me" Sophie said angrily.

"What is it Sophie, cause I'm kind of busy" I stated as she sighed.

"You were supposed to bring them back this morning" she stated as I closed my eyes.

"Right… sorry I forgot" I stated as she scoffed.

"I'm sure" she mumbled as I got angry.

"I did" I almost shouted. "Look I'll bring them over now, if that's what you want" I stated as she sighed.

"What I want… fuck sakes…. No it's fine I'll pick them up from school" she sighed.

"What about their stuff" I asked as she sighed again.

"I'll come and get it okay" she replied.

"Fine" I replied. "Bye" I said as I hung up. I felt frustration and anger hit my body. "God why does she have to wind me up so much." I thought.

"Math are you ready? We're leaving" I huffed as I picked Lily up. "Come on let's get you sorted for day care" I mumbled.

…...

"Hello can I help" I said to the bloke that just entered the shop.

"Uhm well I have to say sorry to my girlfriend 'cause I knocked somebody up, any suggestions" he asked as I tried not to raise my eyebrows. "Great another scumbag, who thinks that flowers will make it all go away" I thought as I smiled at him.

"Uhm right well the best way is a bouquet, cause a simple bouquet of roses won't cut it" I said as he frowned. "A dozen red roses mean gratitude, 25 mean congratulations and 50 mean unconditional love. You need to go with the 50, but add six stems of deep red roses to tell her that you feel ashamed what you did. And then add another six stems of cinnamon roses to say that your apology comes without pretensions." I stated as he looked at me in disbelief.

"Lady if you're trying to get me to buy that many roses you're deluding" he huffed as I breathed in.

"Right well you can always go with five stems of daisies, which express unwavering loyalty and love; six stems of Forget-Me-Nots, which signify faithful love and the sweet memories you share; and finally, a single stem of the mauve flower, which asks the question 'Do you still love me?' if she says yes, you have to tell her you won't mess things up again" I stated as I sighed.

"You're confusing me with all of your symbolism" he stated as I chuckled. "How about I just take this white lily" he asked as I frowned.

"Well the whit lily represents purity and virtue" I said trying to tell him not to take that one.

"All right enough with the symbolism just tell me which flower to take that isn't too expansive" he stated. I closed my eyes to hide my eye rolling.

"All right take this one, it's called foxgloves she'll love it" I stated trying to show my enthusiasm.

"Okay great, thanks" he said as he followed me to the register.

"That's 14£99 please" I said quietly as he handed me the money. "Have a good day…. Prick" I said as he left the shop.

"Foxgloves" I chuckled. Foxgloves were known as insincerity. I watched the clock. It said 6pm, closing time. I grabbed my keys and closed the shop. The wind was howling and the rain was rattling as I got into my car.

…

Today was going to be different; I was going to prove to Sian that I did put my family first. I watched the clock as it hit 3pm, time to go get the kids. I quickly got up and took my keys.

"Math over here" I said as he looked my way and furrowed his brows. He ran over to me.

"Mum? What are you doing here?" he asked me as I frowned.

"I came to pick you up silly" I said as I took his backpack.

"Where's Sian" he asked me.

"Well you're spending the rest of the week with me" I sniggered as he smiled nervously. "Now let's get your sister ay" I said to him as we headed for the car.

….

As we entered the crèche we were greeted by a woman.

"Hello may I help you…. oh hi Matty, oh I'm sorry you must be Sian's wife" the woman said as I nodded. I could she have forgotten me, I mean I wasn't a regular but I have picked up Lily before.

"She didn't give too much of a fuss?" I asked her as she smiled at me.

"No she's an angel" she said as she led me to her. She was an angel just like her mum. She had the same blond locks and the icy blue eyes Sian had. She almost smelled like Sian, but there was a slight difference.

"Hi babes" I said to her as I picked her up. "Momma" she squealed. "Yeah hi, I heard you behaved as a very good girl today." I said as she nodded clutching on to her teddy.

"If you two want we can go for ice cream" I said as Matty shrugged. What was up with him these days? I looked outside and I saw rainclouds gathering.

"Or maybe a hot coco ay" I said as I took Math by the hand. "Thank you, I'll bring her round tomorrow" I said to her as she smiled.

…

"Mum look what lily did, look … mum look" he giggled waving something at me. My head was going to burst.

"Babe I'll look later, can you please keep it down I'm trying to work" I said calmly as he frowned angrily and threw the object on the ground.

"Sian would've looked" he said as he ran out of the living room. I sighed and closed my eyes; I decided not to go after him. I'll talk to him when he's cooled off and I really need this article done. I glanced at the clock 6h30pm, shit I have my deadline in an hour and my article isn't near done.

Lilly started crying for the object as I sighed in frustration.

"What is it beautiful? Do you want this" I said as I picked up the drawing from the floor. I sighed as I looked at it. _Lily, mummy, momma and Math_ it said.

"Here you go Lily" I said as I handed it to her. "Are you mad at me too" I said as glanced away, distracted by summit. "Great even my two year old can't stand to look at me; she really does resemble her mother." I muttered as Matty came down disguised in his pirate costume and started shouting which made Lily cry. "Ugh no" my mind screamed as the phone rang.

"Hello" I sighed.

"Hi….there's been…" the voice said but I couldn't hear it.

"Hold on a minute I can't hear you... Math will you keep it down" I shouted as he stopped and dropped down in front of the telly giving me the family trade death glare. I sighed as I picked up Lily and tried to sooth her.

"Yeah sorry could you repeat that, my house is in chaos right now" I stated.

"Right are you Sophie Webster" the voice asked.

"Yes I am why" I asked him.

"Okay good, I'm Dr. Clarence from St. Johns hospital… your wife has been in an accident" he stated as panic hit me.

"What… o my god is she okay…" I said with a shaky voice as I felt my legs go to jelly.

"We got her stable but I think you should come down to the hospital" he stated as I felt a big lump in my throat.

"Yes of course, I'm on my way" I stated as I put down the phone.

"Matthew put on your coat and shoes we're going to Uncle Derek" I stated as a grin appeared on his face.

…

I ran into the hospital after dropping the kids off at Derek's.

"Hi I'm looking for my wife Sian Powers Webster…. She's been in accident" I whimpered.

"Right… calm down miss…. Right Sian powers she's in room 235" she said as I rushed off. As I reached her room I entered it like a mad person. I saw her lying in the hospital bed with her arm in a cast.

"Hi" I said shyly.

"What are you doing here" she asked as I frowned.

"You got into an accident…. They called me" I stated as she scoffed.

"Well you can go now cause I'm fine" she huffed as I felt my eyes watering.

"But… you're hurt…I'm not going" I stated as I brushed a single tear away. She looked at me and I could swear I saw sympathy and tenderness in her eyes. But it went as fast as I came and was replaced my utter cold.

"Why not" she asked.

"Because you're my wife" I stated as she scoffed again.

"Only on paper" she snapped.

"Okay fine, how about Lily and Math" I said to her as she sighed and her gaze softened. "Please just let me take care of you right now" I pleaded with her as her breathing became heavier.

"No, you lost that right a long time ago." She said as her voice broke a little. "Just go Sophie, tell the kids I'm fine and I'll be back in 2 days with just a couple bumps and bruises" she sighed as I groaned.

"I told you I'm not going" I stated as she sighed.

"Fine, just don't talk to me or touch me" she said as my heart broke all over again.

….

I sat there for hours just looking at her, watching her sleep, eat. She didn't say a word to me, nothing at all.

…

"Soph…. please don't" she said as I was watching her sleep. She fluttered her eyes and looked at me, I smiled and for the first time in months she smiled back, but there was hurt in the smile so much hurt. "Soph please, I can't… I can't take this anymore…. Please just go…" she whimpered.

"Sian…I" I tried to comfort her but she shrugged me off.

"Can't you see this is hurting me…. I need you to give me space okay, I can't get over you if you're always here" she stated as I frowned.

"I don't want you to get over me" I stated as she breathed in.

"Well I do so please….please just… go" she begged me as tears almost fell from her eyes. I couldn't bare to see her this way, she was hurting. She was hurting because of me. I gulped in anticipation of what I was about to do. I kissed her lips gently as a sob escaped her lips. I was trying to keep her taste on my lips, trying to hold on to that moment for just a moment longer. I sighed and rested my forehead against hers.

"Okay… I'll back off for good this time" I said as I got up.

"Thank you" she whispered as I left the room.

"Was this it, was it really over..." I thought as a tear escaped my eye and rolled down to my chin.


	3. Chapter 3

**Chapter 3**

**Sophie pov**

I left the hospital and went to Derek's. I knocked on the front door.

"Sophie….oh god is she okay" he asked me as I nodded.

"Then why are you crying" he asked me.

"It's over, I think it's really over" I cried as he let me in.

"Okay you gonna have to explain what happened" he said as I came and totally broke down. "Soph… come here babe" he said as he pulled me into a hug. I sobbed in his arms for what felt like hours, but really it was minutes.

"Come and sit down, do you want a brew" he asked as I nodded. "Sophie what happened" he asked me as I breathed in slowly.

"She's hurt and even now, now that she needs me, that she's hurt…. she doesn't want me, she said we were only married on paper. You should've seen her, she was in agony just by having me there, she begged me to go" I whimpered as he rubbed my back.

"Sophie that doesn't mean it's really over, she's hurt and you can't really blame her I mean the way you've…" he started saying.

"If I wanted a lecture I'd go to church okay…. I know it's all my fault, I know I hurt her so much, but I just…. I wanted to make it right" I interrupted him.

"Wanted?" he murmured as I looked at him and sighed.

"I don't think I can do it anymore, it's to tiring…. I think it might be best for both of us if I just moved on" I sighed as I felt the tears coming on again.

"Sophie you don't mean that, you love her" he stated as I sighed.

"Do I? I'm tired Derek, I don't think I have the strength to love somebody who hates me that much anymore" I stated as he scoffed.

"You don't have the strength, woaaw you've been fighting for this relationship for what? 6 months…. I can't believe you're giving up so easily" he uttered as I took a sip from my tea.

"Maybe I am, but I'm letting go… for good" I said to him as he sighed.

"Have you ever felt the way about anybody like you have with Sian" he asked me.

"No…. but then again I'm only 25… she was my first love…. And that's all she is right now, someone I loved" I stated as he was trying to argue with me. "Please just don't…. where are the kids" I sniffed.

"Upstairs" he answered quietly.

"Thanks for watching them…. Mind if I crash here?" I asked him as he smiled.

"You know where the spare room is" he stated as I smiled thankfully. After Sian left I had spent 2 weeks here.

"Thanks" I muttered as I got up to the room. I lay myself on the bed and closed my eyes, trying to erase the image of Sian in a hospital bed. I started drifting off after finally finding some peace.

"_Hey baby I'm home" I whispered as I entered our bedroom._

"_Hey" she replied as she glanced at the clock that read 22h36pm. _

"_Hey sorry I'm so late, I got caught up at the reception" I stated as she smiled. _

"_It's fine… just don't make a habit out of it, I want you in besides me when I go to sleep" she stated as I smirked. _

"_Really? Well I'm right here babe, for you and for the little one in here" I said as I kissed her gorgeous big stomach. "How are you feeling" I asked her. _

"_Uggh fed up, why can't she just come out…she's 3 days late" she moaned as I chuckled. _

"_It's not funny" She said angrily as I kissed her cheek. _

"_Babe it'll be fine" I said as I stroked her tummy. _

"_No it won't what if I she decides to spend her life in there and I stay a whale forever" she stated as I smiled. _

"_Oh babe she won't, she'll come out when she's ready and even if you would stay a whale, you are the most sexy whale I have ever seen" I said as her kissed my lips._

"_Great" she huffed. _

"_I can't say anything right can I?" I stated as she sighed. _

"_Sorry" she replied as I smiled at me and snuggled into her. _

"_Don't be, you're allowed to be as grumpy and as emotional as much as you want" I stated as I kissed her neck. _

…

"_Soph….. SOPHIE!" I heard someone scream as I woke up._

"_What? What is it, are you okay" I asked me as I saw her panicking. _

"_Soph I …I" she stuttered as she took my hand and put it on the bed sheet that was soaking wet. _

"_OMG did your water broke" I shouted. _

"_No Soph you just make me so wet OF COURSE MY WATER BROKE" she yelled at me. _

"_All right, okay come on" I hovered as I helped her up and she clutched her stomach _

"_SHIT….uggh… jesus this hurts" she yelled as she held on to my stomach. _

"_It's going to be okay babe, I'm right here I said as I held the bag we prepared. _

…_._

"_Jesus fuck me backwards uuuuuggghhh…. Oh god someone kill me now" she shouted as she clamped my hand. "God I am never letting you near me again" she shouted at me as another contraction came along. "What did I do? I didn't knock her up" I thought._

"_Just one more push Sian you can do it" she stated. _

"_Come on baby, you can do this" I said to her as I kissed her forehead. She held her head up and pushed with all her forces as we heard a babies cry and she dropped down on the pillow. She let go of my hands as her body went limp and she let out a big sigh. _

"…_Sian, she's beautiful" I said to her as they wrapped her up in a blanket after I had cut the cord. "Look baby" I said holding the baby to her as I sat next to her, but she was having difficulty to keep her eyes open. _

"_Soph" she breathed as passed out._

"_Sian baby wake up" I said as I held on to our daughter._

….

"SIAN" I screamed as I woke up. I was panting and sweating. "Great a fucking nightmare."I thought as I dropped myself down on my bed. I sighed. "Why did I dream about the night Lily was born" I thought as I got up and made my way to the kids' room. I entered it quietly as I made my way to Lily's bed. I sat on the side of the bed and watched her sleep. It had been more than two years since Lily was born it was one of best and scariest night of my life. It was the night I got Lily, but almost lost Sian, due to blood loss and a blood rush to her heart. God she was gorgeous, she had the same face, the same expressions Sian had. Like right now she was rolled up in a bundle, just like Sian does when she's sleeping very deeply. I smiled at the sight and turned my gaze to Matty. I noticed Math wasn't sleeping as he looked up at me with his big blue eyes.

"Math? Why aren't you asleep" I whispered as I went over to his bed.

"Is Sian okay?" he asked as I smiled.

"Yeah, she just broke her arm and has a nasty bump to the head….she'll be fine" I said to him.

"Will she come home?" he asked me as my smile faded.

"Math… you know Sian doesn't live with us anymore" I said to him as he nodded sadly. "Look I know you miss her, but she'll be fine and you'll see her in a couple of days yeah?" I said to him as he hugged me. I breathed in his smell.

"I miss you too mum" he stated.

"I'm right here" I replied as he scoffed.

"No you're not, you never are" he said loudly.

"Shhhh your sister is sleeping…. What do you mean… I haven't had a foreign job in months" I said to him as he shrugged.

"Doesn't matter" he said as he went to ly down and I sighed.

"Look tell you what…. why don't I take you to the playground tomorrow after school" I said to him.

"Can't, I have soccer practice" he answered as I sighed.

"Okay, we could cook a nice dinner together won't that be fun" I asked him as he smiled.

"Yeah it would if Sian would be there too" he answered.

"Math…" I sighed.

"I know, she can't be there…. But I still wish she would" he said to me as I nodded. "Me too" I thought.

"Go to bed baby you've got school in the morning" I said to him as he closed his eyes.

…

**Sian pov**

She kissed my lips gently as I couldn't hold in the sob that was dying to come out. Why is she doing this to me, god those lips…. no I can't.

"I'll back off for good this time" she stated as relief and hurt washed over me. I needed her to stay away, my heart couldn't handle it anymore.

"Thank you" I whispered as she left the room. Once she was out of sight I started sobbing, I was so angry with myself and with her. At least she'd stay away… for a while.

"Ah Sian…. Good to see you awake" my doctor said as he walked in. "Did your wife leave all ready" he asked as I nodded.

"She's not well she is my wife, but we're separated" I stated as the doctor nodded.

"Okay well you can go home tomorrow, your x-rays look good" he smiled as I thanked him. He left the room and I dropped my head down and looked at the sealing as I started drifting off.

…

I got home to an empty and dark apartment.

"Hello" someone said in the dark as I screamed.

"Stay away I have pepper spray and I'm not afraid to use it" I said holding a can of hairspray in the air.

"No you don't "he chuckled, the voice seemed familiar as he stepped in the light and revealed Derek. I sighed in relief and chucked away the hairspray

"Fuck sakes Derek, what are you trying to do send me back to the hospital for a heart attack" I asked angrily.

"I'm sorry" he said genuinely as I sighed.

"What are you doing here anyways" I asked him as he sat down at the kitchen table.

"Well your wife crashed at my house again 2 days ago and I was worried about you" he stated.

"Ex-wife" I huffed as he snorted at me.

"Really so you're divorced are you" he snapped as I frowned.

"No… not yet…. Look I dunno what this has got anything to do with why you're here" I stated as he laughed at me.

"Sian… you've got to remember it's me, I've known you even before you met Sophie… you can't fool me okay, you're hurting I can see that" he stated as sighed.

"Yeah and what else is new, I've been hurting for a year now" I stated as he sighed.

"I know…. All I'm saying is don't rush into things… do you really want to get a divorce" he asked as I shrugged.

"I…." I started saying but was interrupted by the phone.


	4. Chapter 4

**Chapter 4**

**Sophie pov**

The minute I hung up the phone it rang again.

"Hello" I said hoping it was Sian calling me.

"Webster, you were supposed to give me your article 2 days ago, what the hell is going on" my boss yelled at me.

"I know sir I'm sorry, my wife got into a car accident, because of the weather" I stated, he never like the fact that I was gay. I had to work twice as hard as the other employees just to get a chance.

"So? I thought you were separated" he asked me as anger hit me.

"That's beside the point, she got into an accident and I was called down to the hospital" I stated as he scoffed.

"You're a journalist Webster and journalists have deadlines so get your bloody act together. I want that article on my desk by 3pm" he shouted at me as he hung up on me. I groaned out of frustration.

I made myself a cup of tea and sat behind my desk. I looked at my laptop and started typing. I was halfway through my article as I heard the door slam. I looked behind me and saw Rosie standing in the middle of my living room.

"Hey Soph" she said but I ignored her. "Sophie I'm sorry" she said to me.

"I don't have time to argue with you, I have to get this done" I stated as she snorted. "What" I asked angrily.

"Nothing, just that if you would've spend a bit less time behind that thing, the other night wouldn't have happened" she stated as my eyes popped out of my head.

"What? You're saying it's my fault that you brought me children to a bar and got drunk, while you were supposed to watch them" I yelled at her.

"No…I'm just trying to make a point" she said to me as I scoffed at her.

"Well don't cause trust me I've heard your point… How could you! I trusted you with them, and you betrayed my trust…. AND Sian found them with you…. I could've lost my kids because of you Rosie!" I yelled at her as she was fiddling with her fingers.

"I know" she said quietly. "I'm sorry" she said to me as I scoffed at her.

"SORRY? What if something happened to them, they could've gotten alcohol poisoning, or hurt or kidnapped… for god sakes" I stated.

"Please Sophie just give me one more chance" she pleaded.

"A chance at what?" I uttered as she sighed.

"At being in your life, please let me be your sister" she said to me as I got confused.

"I'm not cutting you out of my life…. I'm just not letting you alone with my kids again…. EVER" I yelled at her as a tear dripped down her cheek. "Now if you don't mind I really need to finish this, if I wanna keep my job" I stated as I turned back to my laptop.

"_Ah here's my hard working wife" I heard someone say behind me. I turned around and saw Sian smirking at me. I glanced at the clock 23pm as she came towards me and wrapped her arms around me resting her head on my shoulder. "You coming to bed soon" she murmured as she kissed my neck. _

"_Yeah 10 more minutes and I'll be in" I said to her as she pouted. _

"_Can't you get up 10 minutes early so you can finish it" she moaned as I chuckled. _

"_No cause getting out of bed while you're using every trick in the book to keep me in it is even harder" I stated as she sighed. _

"_Fine" she sighed as she let go of my shoulders. "I'll just have to satisfy myself in the meantime." She stated as she let her night gown fall and walked butt naked to our bedroom. I typed as fast as I could to go and join my wife._

"HELLOOO Sophie" I heard Rosie jammer as I got snapped out of the memory.

"What" I snapped at her.

"Well you're smiling while you're writing an article about neglect; I mean not really a happy topic…." She rambled as I just rolled my eyes. I looked at my screen and read the last word I typed.

'_Sian' _it said as I groaned and hit the delete button._ "_I'm moving on" my mind screamed.

"Right…. Rosie we're going out tonight" I stated as she looked at me confused.

"Okay…" she said as she looked at me suspiciously and narrowed her eyes.

"I need to get out there again" I stated as she frowned.

"I don't get it, I thought you were trying…" she started saying as I interrupted her.

"Well things change" I snapped at her.

"Okay fine, but are you sure? You've just been…" she started saying again.

"Yes Rosie I'm fine okay" I said to her as she sighed.

…

**Sian pov**

"Hello" I said into the phone as I fixated my gaze on Derek.

"Hi … uhm it's Laura" the girl said as I smiled.

"Oh hi, how are you" I said to her as I saw Derek frown and shake his head. "What" I mouthed as he sighed.

"I'm fine you?" she asked me.

"Uhm yeah I'm okay" I smiled.

"So you're probably wondering why I'm calling" she said to me.

"Yeah" I chuckled.

"Well since you didn't call me I thought I'd call you and invite you to come to Casa Rosa with me tonight" she said as I hesitated.

"Yeah I meant to call you, but I got into an accident… I'm sorry it slipped my mind." I said to her.

"Oh right are you okay" she asked me.

"Yeah I'm fine just a broken arm and a couple bumps and bruises" I stated.

"Well do you feel up to go out tonight or do you wanna leave it a bit" she replied.

"Uhm well if I manage to get a babysitter I might take you up on that" I flirted with her.

"Great uhm let me know if you can make it" she said to me as I chuckled.

"Sure I'll call you in a bit to let you know" I said to her.

"Okay see you later" she said to me as I hung.

"What?" I said to him as he sighed. "Look I like her okay, and it's just a date" I said to him.

"Whatever you say babe" he said to me.

"Look could you babysit tonight?" I asked him.

"If I said no, would you take it as a sign to work things out with Sophie" he asked me.

"No probably not" I stated.

"Then I'm babysitting" he sighed as I smiled at him.

…

"Hi" I said as I opened the door.

"Hi… you look really pretty" Laura said as I smirked.

"You too" I said to her. She was wearing a black dress with high heels. Laura had blonde hair and dark blue eyes. She was taller than me and very pretty. She took my hand in hers and led me to the car where she opened the door for me.

"Wooaw such a gentle woman" I sniggered as she chuckled.

"I do try" she smirked as she shut the door.

We arrived at Casa Rosa around 9h45pm and the place was already packed. I looked around and didn't really see any familiar faces. Sophie and I used to come here after we'd just gotten married, we had some good times here. My gaze froze at the bar when I saw a very familiar brunette sitting at it.

"You okay" Laura murmured as she stroked her fingers over my knuckles.

"Yeah fine, I just thought I saw someone I know" I stated as I looked at the bar again, but the brunette had disappeared.

"And have you" she asked me as I turned my gaze to her.

"No I haven't" I said to her as she smiled. We went to sit at a table and ordered our drinks.

"Did it work out? with your friend I mean" she asked me as I furrowed my brows.

"My friend?" I murmured as she chuckled.

"The one you left our date for" she said as I realized what she was talking about.

"Oh right… uhm no not really, but it's complicated" I smiled as she raised her eyebrows.

"You can tell me you know, I'm a great listener" she said as I smiled at her.

"I know…. But right now I want to do summit else" I said to her as I leaned in and kissed her lips. I liked the kiss, it was nice and comfortable.

"Wow" she said as we pulled out of the kiss and I smiled.

"Rosie don't you dare take that drink" I heard a familiar voice shout, too familiar. I opened my eyes and saw Sophie giving Rosie a lecture about what I can only imagine being her drinking. As Rosie met my eyes she tugged at Sophie's arm. Soon enough Sophie followed Rosie's gaze and settled on me. I gulped. "Great fucking great, I'm having a date with a beautiful girl and my wife is here too" I thought.

"Are you okay Sian" I heard Laura say as she put her hand on mine as I saw Rosie coming over much to Sophie's protest.

"Hiya" she cheered.

"Hi Rosie" I mumbled as I looked at Laura. "Laura this is Rosie, my friend you asked about before" I stated.

"O hiya" she said as she held out her hand, but Rosie didn't take it. I frowned at her, but it didn't seem to have any effect on her behavior.

"Are you on date Sian babes" she asked me as she raised her eyebrows in venom.

"Uhm yeah I am" I stuttered as I saw Sophie coming over.

"Well she's hot, do you find her hotter than I dunno …. My sister maybe…. Ah hey Soph" she said as Sophie came over.

"Stop it Rosie" I snapped at her as Sophie was gesturing her to leave us.

"Sian is this your ex or summit" Laura chuckled as it only fueled Rosie's anger.

"No I am not her ex, this one here though is…. well technically she's not …. Cause you're still married" she stated as I sighed. I looked over at Laura who was looking at Sophie in shock.

"This is your wife, hold on Sophie THE Sophie" she asked quietly as I nodded. "Excuse me" she muttered.

…

**Sophie pov**

"…. THE Sophie" the girl asked in shock as she excused herself. I smiled at what she said, seeming I still had an impact on Sian's life. Sian caught me smiling and almost glared me to death as I quickly hid my smile.

"Hi" I said quietly as I could see she was really angry. "Sian I'm sorry we shouldn't…." I started saying as she interrupted me.

"What do you want Sophie" she spat at me.

"Nothing" I said with a high pitch voice.

"Then can you please leave, cause I think you've already ruined my date" she said to me as the word date cut me like a knife.

"That was a date" I laughed as she frowned at me.

"Yeah it was" she snapped back as I suddenly felt very jealous.

"Well that didn't take long" I muttered.

"Excuse me" she hissed at me.

"Where are the kids if we're both here" I said trying to change the subject. "There at Derek's" she stated. "Does she know you have kids" I asked sternly.

"YEAH she does okay" she stated. "Has she met them" I said trying to hide the venom in my voice. "Not that it's any of your business but no she hasn't yet" she stated as I raised my eyebrows. "None of my business? Sian of course it's my business…. I wanna know if my kids are going to meet your latest floozy" I spat at her as her eyes widened.

"I can't believe you just said that" she yelled at me.

"Well I can't believe you just said my children weren't my business" I snapped back.

"Well they haven't been the latest year what's so different about this time" she snarled at me as I backed down. That hurt, and it was still stinging.

"We should go I'm sorry for ruining your evening… come on Rosie" I said as I tugged at her arm.

"Soph" I heard her yell, but I kept walking.

…

"Babe stop staring" Rosie said to me as I turned my gaze away from Sian. I frowned and fiddled with my hands. "You're jealous aren't you" she said to me as I sighed.

"Well how would you be if your wife was snogging the face off some girl?" I stated as she gave me sympathetical smile.

"You wanna see if it works both ways" she asked me as I furrowed my brows. "What are you on about?" I asked her as she smirked at me.

"Well let's see how she reacts when she sees you snogging the face off some girl" she stated as I smiled shyly and snorted. "Yeah let her crush my heart even more, when I see she couldn't care less" I stated as Rosie rolled her eyes.

"Babe you've been married for…. well for a very long time, you don't just turn the button and wake up one day and decide not to love someone anymore" she stated as I sighed.

"Yeah but it was just overnight was it?" I said to her. "Well it can't hurt to try right" she said to me as I sighed and nodded. "Okay" I sighed as she grinned and clapped her hands.

….

"Okay so you're gonna go over there and ask her to dance okay" Rosie said to me.

"What if she says no" I said nervously. "So? You're a total babe, just move on to the next one" she said to me as I burst out in giggles. I made my way to a very sexy looking redhead and asked her to dance. To my surprise the redhead didn't decline and led me to the dance floor.

We had been swaying to the music with, grinding into each other. She placed herself behind me and snaked her hands around my waist as she started kissing down my neck. I sneaked a glance at Sian who was staring in my direction, trying to hide her discomfort. Sarah or what was her name turned me around and kissed my lips forcefully. I put my hands behind her neck and pulled her close as her hands rested on my bum and squeezed it gently. She started kissing me neck as I focused my gaze onto Sian, whose eyes were full of hurt. She looked at me and turned her head as she ran out leaving her date clueless.

I pushed Sarah away and I ran after her as I ended up on the outside of the club. "Sian" I yelled as she turned around. "What! What do you want Sophie" she spat at me as she was on the verge of tears.


	5. Chapter 5

**Chapter 5**

**Sian pov**

I felt sick when I saw that skank kissing down Sophie's neck. I tried to hold myself together; I was here on a date after all. I couldn't just walk up to Sophie and scream at that girl she was with when I was doing the exact same thing. "Ughh what is wrong with me? This is what I wanted" my mind screamed as I felt Laura's touch that didn't give me the same comfort it did 5 minutes ago. I looked at her and smiled as I met her gaze. I returned my gaze to Sophie, who was no sticking her tong down the throat of that girl. I felt like I was going to throw up. "Ughh fuck it, fuck this date" I thought as I got up and searched the exit. I couldn't handle this anymore.

"Sian" I heard her yell as I turned around. "What! What do you want Sophie" I screamed at her. I felt fresh tears escaped my eyes as I put my head in my hands.

"What's wrong" she asked me as I scoffed at her.

"Nothing! Just go back to your girlfriend" I screamed at her as she looked at me in pity. I felt like I was going to be sick. I felt the dull pain that had been there for months at the bottom of my stomach, stinging again. Like the wound had been scratched open.

"She's not my girlfriend" she stated as I turned my gaze to her. "Why do you even care" she asked me as I sniffed.

"Why? For god sakes Sophie open your eyes" I said to her as she frowned.

"You told me, you told me to back off and move on. This is moving on Sian, you can't just ask me to move on and scream at me when I do." She stated.

"I'm not, you came after me. Just go back inside Sophie…..I'll be fine" I snarled as she furrowed her brows.

"Fine I will" she snapped as she headed for the door and another sob escaped my lips as I sat down on the ground. She turned her head around and stopped her tracks.

"Sian…" she said as she came closer to me.

"Don't… don't touch me" I snarled at her as she gripped my arms anyway. "Let me go Sophie" I screamed as she pulled me into a hug. "Don't…" I said as I tried to push her away, but her grip only got tighter. I gave in and sobbed in her arms as she kissed my head.

"Shhh its okay…" she soothed me as she cupped my face and brushed away my tears with her thumbs. "Don't cry you know I hate it when you cry…. baby I'm so sorry…." she stated as I felt tears streaming down my cheeks. She leaned in and brushed her lips against mine as I flinched.

"NO" I screamed as I pushed her hands away.

"Sian we can…" she said to me as I sobbed.

"No we can't…. you fucking broke my heart Sophie…. I can't … I" I cried as I got up and ran the away from Sophie.

"Sian" I heard her yell, but I kept running to the nearest bus stop. I dropped down on the bench as I the rain started falling down, just like it did on our wedding day.

…

"_Sian fuck sakes you're 10 minutes late, Sophie will think you're leaving her at the aisle" Rosie stated as I turned around. _

"_Babe you're not have blue feet are you" she said as sat down next to me on the bed. _

"_You mean cold feet" I smirked at her. _

"_Whichever, Sian what's wrong" she said as she brushed the hair strand out of my face. _

"_Nothing I just thought they would come… that's all" I stated sadly as she put her arm around me. _

"_Sian, you and Sophie haven't talked to my or your parents in over a year, are you really that surprised that they didn't turn up" she asked me as I felt the tears coming on. "Don't cry, you'll mess up your make-up…. Now come on Sian babes, this is your wedding day; this should be the best day of your life…. Don't let them ruin it" she stated as I smiled and hugged her. "Now get down that aisle and marry my sister, before she has a nervous breakdown" she laughed as I got up. Me and Sophie had arranged someone from city hall to come down with the paperwork, so we could have a ceremony and sign the papers at the same time. We had booked a great hall with a conservatory. As I got down to the conservatory where we were having the ceremony, I saw my beautiful wife to be standing at the end of it. _

_Sophie was wearing a gorgeous long white dress, that she wouldn't let me see before the wedding cause she told me it was bad luck. I was wearing a white summer dress even though it was winter. As I walked down the aisle I could see the relief on Sophie's face. _

"_Hey" I whispered as I got to her. _

"_Hi you scared me there for a minute" she stated. _

"_Sorry" I smiled wanting to kiss her but the pastor cleared his voice._

"_Are you two ready" he smirked as we both nodded. "Okay we are gathered here today to join Sian powers and Sophie Webster…." He started saying as I couldn't take my eyes off Sophie._

…

"_Now it's time for the vows" the pastor announced as I felt very nervous suddenly. Sophie must have noticed because she took my hand and squeezed it to give comfort. I smiled and started speaking._

"_When I first met you, you were branded as the new girl, the new shiny toy at St. Claire's and as all children I wanted to play with you" I smirked as she chuckled. "I soon realized that there was more to you than just 'The new girl", I realized that you were the most amazing person I had ever met, you are kind and passionate and everything I could ever wish. The first time I realized I loved you even though it took Kathy knocking some sense into me to admit it, was when you managed to dance with me, even though I was furious at you" I smiled as Sophie started grinning. "I love everything about you, I love your compassion, your honesty, your laugh, your sense of humor, you little OCD quirks, your eyes cause in the beginning they were the only tool of communication I had and they made me pay attention to the little things. Like how scrunch up your lip when you're nervous, or how you always shrug your shoulders after you've looked into the mirror in the morning. I would do anything for you, I would promise anything if you asked me to. But this one is without asking, I promise you that I will love you forever Sophie Webster" I stated as Sophie was on the verge of tears. I smiled at her and squeezed her hand. _

"_Sophie?" the pastor said to her._

"_Well how can I to compete with that" she joked as the room erupted in laughter. "Okay well here it goes, I remember one night when you were trying to cheer me up cause I was send to another floor due to our hanky panky" she joked as the room kept laughing. "You made me mac'n cheese for dinner and gave me a small present" she said as she gestured at Rosie. I looked at her in shock as Rosie gave her the page out of my diary. "Don't worry I won't read it out loud" she smirked. "I will say this, you gave me this, to make me smile and show me how much you love me…. and it did…. And I will do the same, because I wanna make you smile everyday for the rest of my life. So I wrote my own 20 things I love about you" she sniggered as I started laughing. "Okay here it goes, 20 things I love about you:_

_I love your smile, it lights up the room and makes my tummy flip over_

_I love that you can make me grin like a bloody idiot all the time_

_I love how you tease me_

_I love how you are with Matty cause it only makes me love you even more_

_I love that you are always honest with me_

_I love that you can make my head go dizzy_

_I love how your pout can make me do anything_

_I love how good a friend you are_

_I love how you sleep in a bundle_

_I love it when you get flustered_

_I love that you sing very loudly when your under the shower_

_I love how you playfully count down to 3 when Matty or I don't do as we're told_

_I love how you deal with my mood swings_

_I love how you crave for certain food, like a woman in her 1st trimester… I don't wanna know what it'll be like when you do actually get pregnant_

_I love the sparkle in your eyes, when you realize I've just bought a new jar of Ben&Jerry's ice cream_

_I love your air of authority_

_I love your kind heart_

_I love the feeling of your skin on mine_

_I love how delirious you get when we pick out decorations for our apartment_

_I love how lucky you make me feel to have someone like you in my life._

"_I love you baby, I love you now, I will love you in 5 minutes and I will still love you in 100 years. I will love you forever…. I promise" she stated as I couldn't stop grinning. _

"_I love you too" I mouthed. _

"_Okay Sophie do you take Sian do be your wife, from now on until death do you part" He asked Sophie._

"_I will" she answered as she put the ring on my finger and signed the paper._

"_And do you Sian take Sophie to be your wife, from now on until death do you part" he asked me as I nodded._

"_I will" I whimpered out of happiness as I shakily slid the ring onto her finger and signed the paper._

"_Then I now declare you wife and…. wife" he chuckled as I raised my eyebrows. "Oh you may kiss each other now" he grinned as I flung myself at Sophie. I kissed her passionately as I tangled my hands in her hair. She kissed me back and snaked her hands around my waist as she lifted me off the floor for 2 seconds. I let my tong glide in her mouth as we forgot where we were. _

"_All right keep some for the honeymoon" Rosie groaned as we pulled out of the kiss and I wrapped my arms around Sophie as I pulled her into a hug. _

"_I love you and you look so gorgeous" I whispered in her ear. _

"_God I love you too, and you don't look so bad yourself Mrs. Powers Webster… I can't wait to get you out of that dress" she smirked as she kissed my neck and rain startled falling down, rattling against the conservatory. _

"_I really like the rain" I said out of the blue. _

"_Me too" she sniggered as she pecked my lips several times and rested her head against mine. _

"_Will you two come in here, you've got guest to entertain…. Like me" Rosie moaned as we both started laughing. _

"_All right" Sophie groaned as she took my hand in hers and led me inside._

…

I still love and hate that rattling sound. I snapped out of my daydream as a car pulled over.

"Sian" Laura yelled as she got out of the car. "What happened" she asked as she sat next to me. I started sobbing as she pulled me into her arms.

"Take me home Laura" I said to her as she pulled me into the car.

"Sian did something happen with your ex…. Cause as much as I love the idea of a threesome I don't want one in my bed" she stated as I sighed. "Look if you still got some issues to work out…." Laura started saying as I interrupted her.

"Yeah" I stated bluntly. "Look I…. I can't do this right now with you…. I need some more time" I said to her as she gave me a sad smile.

"Okay" she replied as she pulled over at the apartment. I really needed to move, this place just reminded me too much of Sophie.

"I'll see you" I said to her as she smiled at me. She cupped my face and kissed my lips gently.

"Let me know when okay" she smiled as I nodded and entered my building. As I got into my apartment, I sat down on the windowsill and listened to the sound of the rain. That sound was so intoxicating; it was like I was breathing in Sophie's scent.

I sighed and wrapped a blanket around me as I kept listening to the rain as its sound spoke volumes.

'Sophie' it spoke with every single drop that rattled against the window.


	6. Chapter 6

**Chapter 6**

**Sophie pov**

"Mum it's the 14th" Matty screamed as he jumped on my bed and started jumping on it.

"What" I yawned.

"The 14th, the 14th! Dad's coming today" He shouted as I closed my eyes and groaned. "Why aren't you happy mum" he said as he peeked inside of my duvet.

"I am baby" I said to him. "I'm just not up to him giving me lectures about Sian that's all" I thought.

"Can we go for ice cream with him" he beamed as I chuckled and nodded.

"Yaaaaaaaaaaaay, did you hear that Lily? We're going for ice cream, we're coming for ice-cream, we're going…." I sang as he left my room. As he left the room I dropped down on my pillow and groaned. "This is going to be an eventful week" I thought as I sighed and got up. My head was still throbbing from last night. I sighed at the thought of Sian in tears, I didn't want to cause her anymore pain." But how do you move on without actually moving on, what am I supposed to do? sit back and do nothing while she goes through several girls?" I thought as I got into the bathroom. I washed my face and got dressed. Matthew saw Chesney once every 3 months, and was always ecstatic when it was that time. It was hard in the beginning, cause I thought Ches' would be around more….but we got used to it, especially after Chesney gave his consent to give Sian joint custody of Matty.

"Hey baby" I said as I got Lily out of her cot. "You sleep okay, come on let's go see what your brother's up to" I said to her as she took hold of and walked down the stairs.

"Math will you calm down" I laughed as I saw him jumping up and down the couch. I put Lily in her chair at the kitchen table.

"Okay gorgeous, what would you like to eat" I asked her as she scrunched up her face while she was thinking. Her face, her expression almost identical to Sian's. I felt a small tear stream down my cheek.

…

"_Hey what are you doing" she asked me as I pointed to the cooking pan. _

"_You're cooking" she asked me with a smirk on her face. "Okay, who are you and what have you done to my wife" she asked me as I burst out laughing. _

"_What? Can't I cook a meal for you" I asked her as she smiled and kissed my neck snaking her arms around my waist. _

"_Course you can…. Now tell me what you did. Did you forget to pay the phone bill again?" she smirked._

"_That was one time! And no I haven't" I said to her as she started giggling. _

"_Well sorry, you just never cook that's all" she stated as my eyes widened._

"_I cook…. What? Okay I don't cook very often…. Okay okay I cooked once, but we're married now and I wanna cook for you what the biggy?" I sniggered as she kissed my lips passionately. Her grip on my waist got tighter as her breast pushed against mine. I moaned as she glided her tongue in my mouth and explored my mouth. _

"_Well this is a story for the grandkids, your grandmother first started cooking for me on our honeymoon and it was…. What are you making?" she asked me as she pulled out of the kiss._

"_Well sexy, how do you want your eggs?" I asked her. _

"_Uhm, how about scrambled" she said as she scrunched up her face. _

"_Scrambled it is" I cheered as she pecked my lips on more time._

…

"Mum are you okay" Matty asked me as I got pulled out of my thoughts.

"Yeah why?" I asked him.

"You're crying" he replied as I touched my face and felt the damp on my fingers.

"Oh….I'm fine….I'm crying out of happiness" I stated as he frowned.

"Right" he mumbled. "Mum… can Sian come to the airport with us" he asked me as I shook my head. "Why not?" he snarled as I sighed.

"Because, I don't think she has time for it" I stated as he rolled his eyes.

"She always makes time…. Can't I at least ask her" he asked me as I sighed and nodded giving him the phone.

...

"She's coming" he shouted as he jumped on his bed. "Told you she would make time" he stated as he kept jumping on his bed.

"Matthew Webster if you break that bedspring, you're sleeping on the floor" I stated holding the laundry basket as he got off the bed. "Come on mum, join in the spirit…. Everybody will be here me, you, Lily, Sian and dad." He cheered as I smiled shyly.

"Yeah you're right, but you're still sleeping on the floor if you break it" I smirked as he sighed and stormed off.

"Be careful on them stairs…" I shouted after him as I chuckled.

…

"Come on mum, we'll be late!" he shouted.

"Matthew your father is arriving in an hour, and it's a 10 minute drive so we still have plenty of time" I stated as he started yammering.

"But we still have to go pick up Sian…. Please…pweaseeeeeeeeeeeee" he whined.

"All right, keep your kni….. ears…on" I stated as he furrowed his brows. "Come on put on your jacket" I stated as he grinned and ran to the car. As I pulled over to my old apartment I saw Sian waiting by the door. Her eyes were swollen and her face was puffy and red. I gulped at the sight…. "I did that" I thought as she entered the car and sat next to me.

"Hey" I said quietly as she smiled.

"Hi" she replied. "Sian, listen about last night…" I started saying as Matty started shouting hyperactively again.

"Come on, put your feet on it mum!" he shouted as Sian started laughing. I smiled at her; it had been so long since I'd seen her smile let alone laugh.

…

We arrived at the airport 30minutes early.

"Okay guys, let's go…. Math give me your hand" Sian said to him as he kept wandering around. "Matthew, get back here" Sian shouted as I was about to go after him. "Matthew Webster if you are not back here on 3 there will be hell to pay. One…two….thr…." she said holding out her fingers as Matty sprinted back to the car. "Good…..now stay here" she cheered as she picked up Lily. I smiled at her, she was always such a good mother. It was one of the things that made me love her even more.

"Okay uhm….Sophie you coming" she said as I nodded and locked the car. "So it's gate 7…. Maybe we should go see the arrivals ay" she said to me as I smiled.

"He's arriving in half an hour…. So maybe we could go get a cup of coffee in the meantime" I said to her as she agreed. We got to a Starbucks and ordered our drinks while Matty was whining that he wanted to go to the gate.

"Matthew I am not going to wait 30 minutes at the gate, we'll go in 25 minutes okay….it's right over there, see" I said to him as he sat down and started sulking.

"Sian…. About yesterday I didn't…. can we…" I started saying as she interrupted me.

"Really? You wanna have this conversation now, while we're sipping coffee at the airport with our kids" she stated as I sighed.

"Well yeah, cause you won't talk to me anywhere else" I replied as sighed in frustration.

"And with reason…. Look can we not do this, can we just forget about last night" she asked me as I frowned.

"Mum can I have your watch?" Matty asked me as I furrowed my brows."Why..." I asked him. "To see we won't be late duhh" he said to me as I sighed. "Here" I said to him as I returned my gaze to Sian.

"No…. look whether you like it or not, last night you got jealous…. Meaning you still…" I started saying as she cut me off.

"Meaning what Sophie? That I care, of course I still care about you…. but that doesn't change anything does it" she snapped at me as I looked down. "Look, let's not do this….I don't wanna fight" she stated as I nodded.

"Mum I think it's not working, your watch is not working" Matthew yammered as I sighed again turning my gaze to him. "Yeah it is….see it's working" I stated turning my eyes back to Sian's.

"Yeah me either" I croaked out. "I just thought" I almost whimpered as she looked at me, pleading me with her eyes not to speak anymore.

"Soph…I" she started whimpering as Matty tugged at my shirt.

"YES Math what is it" I said to him as I frowned. "It's time" he stated as I looked at the watch.

"Yeah you're right" I said as I finished my coffee. I looked at Sian who did the same and got up, trying to avoid my gaze. We arrived at the gate and waited for Chesney to arrive. This gate I had been here so many times.

"_I wish you wouldn't go" Sian sniffed. _

"_Baby if you don't want me to go then tell me not to, I'll tell my boss and then I can…." I started saying as she kissed me forcefully._

"_No…. you have to do this, it's such a great opportunity….I'll just miss you so much that's all….god these hormones are messing with my emotions" she said as she brushed away a tear. _

"_I love you, you know that" I said as I pulled her into a hug. _

"_Yeah I know….. just come back in time ay…. Before this one is born" she cried as she kissed my neck._

"_Sian, I'm going away for 3 months….. you'll be 4 months away…." I chuckled as I tightened my grip on her waist._

"_Shut up…. Just come back okay? I need you here" she stated as I laughed. My laughter died as I heard my collegues shouting at me, passing sly comments. _

"_Oi Webster, who's the fit bird ay….maybe it's her sister…. Hey Webster care to introduce us" they sniggered as I rolled my eyes and groaned. _

"_Please don't tell me those are the guys that are going with you" Sian asked me as I scrunched up my face. "O god, well good luck they seem to be so charming" she mumbled sarcastically. _

'_Flight to Marocco 242 is now boarding' echoed through the airport as Sian started crying again. _

"_Baby please don't cry" I said to her as I cupped her face. "I'll call you every day, and we'll Skype and stuff…." I said to her as she nodded. _

"_Yeah" she sobbed as she wrapped her hands around my waist and pulled me into her kissing me passionately. I quickly reacted to the kiss as I pulled her head closer to mine as she grinded her hips into mine. She let her tong glide into my mouth as I massaged her tong. God I'll miss this. _

"_I love you" she stated as we pulled out of the kiss resting our heads together. she hugged me, clutching her hands around my neck as I wrapped my arms around her. _

"_I love you too…. I have to go" I whimpered as I pulled out of the hug and kissed her lips one last time. I held her hand while I was going away, and finally let it go. I watched her stand frozen with Matty in the stroller as I left._

"_Hey Webster who's she ay" Frank said to me._

"_My wife…. And I would appreciate it, if you treated her with respect instead of whistling at her like some kind of floozy" I stated as he looked at me in horror. _

"_You wife? I didn't know you were married and…" he sniggered. _

"_Well I am okay" I snarled at him._

"_Hey… I love lesbians" he stated as I groaned and rolled my eyes._

…

"MUMMMMMM" Matty screamed as I jumped.

"What?" I asked him.

"You're not listening…. The plane arrived" he cheered.

"That's great Math" I said to him as I saw Sian chuckling. I took hold of her hand and entwined our fingers, still in the daze of my daydream as she looked at me and frowned confused. I snapped my hand back as I was brought back to reality.

"There! He's here….DAD over here" Matty shouted.


	7. Chapter 7

**Chapter 7**

**Sian pov**

We were waiting at the airport as Sophie seemed really out of it till Matty snapped her back to reality. I chuckled as I watched her jump as she smiled back and took hold of my hand, entwining our fingers. That feeling of warmth in palm of my hand, I had missed this so much, but I didn't understand why she was doing it. She quickly snapped her hand back as she saw my reaction.

Chesney finally arrived much to Matty's excitement.

"Daaaaaad" Matty screamed as he ran over to him. Chesney dropped his luggage to embrace him in a hug, pulling off the floor. "Look mum, its dad! He's here" Matty beamed as I smiled at him in awe. I exchanged looks with Chesney who seemed to be confused about my presence. The last time we saw Chesney was 2 weeks before I packed a suitcase and left our house.

…

"_DAD!" Matty shouted as Chesney chuckled. _

"_I'm right here buddy" he said as he took hold of his son. _

"_Hey, I thought you were arriving this afternoon" I smiled at him as gave him a hug wrapping my arms around his shoulders. _

"_Yeah I know, but I wanted to surprise you guys" he stated as started jumping. _

"_Dad, will you play monopoly with me? Please, please, pleaseeeee" Matty begged him as Chesney started laughing. _

"_Math give your father a breather, and some time to get settled" I stated as I pouted and dropped down on the couch._

"_So did your trip go okay?" I asked him as he nodded. _

"_Yeah lunch was horrible though" he said as we both started laughing until Sophie entered the room. _

"_Hey, what are you doing here…. Oh is it already the 28__th__…I'm sorry my head is all over the place" she stated as she hugged him. _

"_Would you like a brew" I asked Chesney._

"_Yeah I would love one" Sophie answered as I chuckled. _

"_Some things never change here I see" Chesney chuckled as I smiled shyly. _

"_No they don't" I stated as I disappeared in the kitchen. _

"_Soph what did I tell you last time… be careful, if you keep treating her that way she will…." Chesney started saying as I smiled. He was looking out for me, even though I would never leave Sophie I don't think I'd have it in me, it would hurt too much, I was grateful that he was sticking up for me though. "I don't know what was going on inside her head, she wasn't letting me in. She was pushing me away, and I didn't know why. 3 months ago, we stopped having sex. 1 month ago she stopped saying she loved me and last week she stopped kissing me. I feel like I'm walking on a string 10 feet high and she's about to fall and I can't do anything about it. Maybe I should just try harder, to get through to her, I love her…. And I promised I would stay by her side in good and in bad." My thoughts were flooding my brain as the kettle whistled. I poured the tea and went back to the living room. I handed them both a cup as they stopped talking. _

"_Am I interrupting summit" I asked as Sophie smiled and shook her head. _

"_No of course not" she said to me as I smiled. I wanted to kiss her so badly. I took hold of her cup and put it on the coffee table as I cupped her face and tried to kiss her. She pulled away as I frowned. _

"_Sian?" she said as she gestured her eyes to Chesney who was playing with Matty. _

"_What he's seen us kiss before you know" I stated as she frowned. "Fine, I won't try to kiss you again" I sighed as I got up._

…

"_Morning" I said as I entered the living room and found Sophie behind her laptop again. _

"_Morning" she mumbled._

"_Do you want a brew babe" I asked tenderly as I put my hand on her shoulder. She shook her head, without looking at me as I sighed and sat down on the coffee table behind her. _

"_Soph… can we talk… I need you to…" I started saying as Matty stormed in with Chesney behind him. _

"_SCHOOOOOOL" he screamed. "Sian sian I don't have my volcano for my presentation…" he started panicking. _

"_Baby it's at school remember" I told him as he sulked. _

"_But I wanted to show it to dad" he pouted as I chuckled. _

"_I'm sorry honey, next time" I stated as he sighed and left with Chesney behind him. I turned my gaze back to Sophie. _

"_Soph we need to…" I said only to be interrupted again, but this time by her. _

"_SHIT" she screamed as she looked at the clock. "I'm gonna be late" she stated as she got up and started putting on her coat. _

"_its 7h30, you don't have to be at the office for another hour" I stated as she sighed in frustration. _

"_I have a meeting okay" she stated as she took her bag and threw a couple of things in it. _

"_Soph before you go I really need to speak to you about something" I stated as she sighed again. _

"_Can it wait, I have to be in the office by 8am" she stated as I frowned. _

"_No it can't wait…. Every time I want to talk about this, you tell me we'll talk later but we never do" I stated angrily. _

"_Sian can we please not do this now" she asked but it only made me angrier. _

"_Fine" I snarled as she closed her eyes and sighed heading for the door. _

"_Wait" I said as she dropped her head. "Kiss me" I asked her as she furrowed her brows. _

"_What?" she replied. _

"_Kiss me, you know lip/tong exercise, something we used to do all the time" I stated as she sighed. _

"_Sian I don't have time for this" she stated as I felt a knife dig deep into my stomach. _

"_Fine" I croaked out as she groaned. _

"_Fine I'll kiss you…" she said as she headed towards me. "Fine? Did she just say fine?" I thought. _

"_NO, don't kiss me cause you have to…. just go" I screamed at her as she sighed and walked out of the door as a tear escaped my eye. _

…

"So are we all ready to go?" Sophie asked as we got to the car.

"Sian you okay" Chesney asked me as I nodded. "You just spaced out that's all" He stated as I smiled.

"Sorry" I replied as he put his arm around my shoulder and squeezed it.

"If you ever wanna talk…. You can you know… you can join in the chat after Matty's off Skype" he joked as I chuckled.

"Yeah" I breathed as we pulled over at the house and they all got out. I frowned. "Sophie…. Do you need me to take the bus or summit" I said uncomfortably as she shook her head.

"Math wants you to stay, I didn't think you'd mind" she stated as I started fiddling. "Look its fine if you wanna go home, I just thought you'd want to stay and have your tea with us" she said to me as I sighed. "I'll take you home" she stated as she headed towards the car.

"Ughh….. wait" I shouted at her as she returned to me. "I'd like to stay for my tea" I stated as she smiled and entered the house.

…

**Sophie pov**

"Okay here are the brews" I stated as I got into the living room. Sian was sitting on the couch with Lily on her lap, Lily was like a mini me to Sian. They moved in a similar way and seemed to understand each other. Sian always had a talent of understanding people without words being thrown into the conversation.

"Thanks" she said as I handed her the cup. "Lils careful, I've got a hot brew here" she said sternly to the 2 year old who was wiggling in her lap as she put down the cup. Lily settled down quickly and put her thumb in her mouth as she leaned in Sian's chest.

"So Soph, how's the job" Chesney said as I could see Sian rolling her eyes.

"It's fine" I answered.

"Any more foreign jobs" he asked as I sighed.

"No I…I told my boss that I wanted to stay in England and only go abroad if it's absolutely necessary" I answered as Sian stared at me.

"You did?" she replied quietly.

"Yeah" I breathed as I held her gaze. We had been staring in each other's eyes for about 3 minutes now as Chesney spoke again.

"Well that's too bad Soph you love that job" he stated as sighed.

"Yeah well some things are just more important" I stated as Sian's breathing became heavier.

"Right" Chesney mumbled. "Look I'm gonna go see what Math's up to" he stated as he left the living room.

…

"Is your tea too hot" I asked her as she frowned and looked at the cup.

"Yeah a bit" she said slowly. She must've been wondering why I said. "Why did you say that you idiot, what kind of question is that" I thought kicking myself mentally. O god awkward silence.

The silence was broken by Lily's yawn as she leaned in to Sian's chest and put her thumb in her mouth. I looked at her and started chuckling.

"She needs her bed, it's 8h30pm" I whispered as Sian nodded. She took her in her arms and headed up the stairs as I followed her. We entered the room and put her under the covers. She took the same position she did every nigh. I watched Sian tug her in as she kissed her forehead.

"What" she asked me as I realized I was staring.

"Nothing, she just looks exactly like you when she's sleeping" I stated as she smiled nervously.

"Come on" she said as she led me out of the room. We headed for the kitchen and put a fresh kettle on. As the kettle whistled we both got up at the same time and collided with each other, sending the hot kettle on my bare feet. "OUCH" I screamed. "What did you do that for… fuck" I snarled as I ran to the bathroom.

"Soph" I heard Sian say. I don't know why I reacted so angrily, but all I knew is that I had to get my feet under the tab.

I got to the bathroom and put my feet under the water. I winced as my red feet touched the icy water. Someone knocked on the door.

"Soph" Sian murmured as she sneaked her head through the door. "I'm so sorry are you okay…. you know I didn't do that on purpose right? I would never hurt you on purpose you know taht" she stated as I chuckled.

"Do I? So what have you been doing these last few months" I scoffed.

"… That's different…. Ugh you know what forget it, I just came to see if you were okay and you clearly are if you're back to your snarky self so you can just stuff it Sophie!" she snarled as she headed for the door. I sighed.

"Sian wait….I'm sorry" I said to her as she sighed and sat next to me rolling up her trousers and put her feet in the bathtub.

"Its okay" she said quietly as she leaned down and tried to touch my feet. I flinched as she sighed deeply.

"Soph I just want to have a look" she stated as I let her take my feet. I winced as she pulled it closer and got up. She opened the bathroom cupboard and took out an ointment.

"Here that will help" she stated as she put my foot in her lap and applied it.

"Thanks" I said after she was finished as she dropped my feet on the floor.

"Yeah well I still know where everything is so…." She stated as I smiled. "Did you really mean when you said you weren't taking any jobs abroad anymore" she asked as I nodded.

"Yeah, don't fancy it as much as I used to. It took me away from a lot of good things and I don't want to miss out on anything anymore" I stated as she smiled. She took a strand of hair and pushed it out of my face. I leaned in her hand out of habit as she snapped it back.

"I'm sorry" I stated as she sighed.

"Soph…. please let's not have this bloody conversation for the millionth time" she snapped as I looked down.

"I know you're right" I stated as I looked at her. She looked at me with so much hurt and frustration.

"Why do you have to be like this, why couldn't you be like this when we were still together" she almost whimpered.

"I don't know…. I screwed up" I stated as she sniffed and scoffed at me.

"Yeah" she breathed as she looked up. She started switching her gaze from my eyes to my lips. Suddenly I felt her lips on mine. I was startled by her actions but quickly joined in as I closed my eyes as I cupped her face. But as soon as the kiss started it stopped.

"I'm sorry, I shouldn't have done that" she stated.

"Sian…" I said but I was cut off.

"No…. shit…. Soph….I'm sorry I'm giving you false signals ….I…" she sniffed as I sighed.

"Sian I have to tell you something….. last week I went to the h…" I started saying as the door creaked open.

"Hiya girls….uhm I'm gonna take Matty for ice cream…. It's just around the corner so we'll be back in 10" he stated as he left the room.

"I should get back downstairs" I stated as she held on to my wrist.

"Wait… what were you going to say?" she asked as I sighed.

"Nothing important" I stated as I left the bathroom.


	8. Chapter 8

**Chapter 8**

**Sian pov**

I left the bathroom 10 minutes after Sophie. I made my way over to the living room as Matty was jumping up and down out of excitement.

"Yaaaaaaaaay" Matty squealed as I started chuckling.

"Hey big man, what's going on?" I asked him as he ran to me and jumped in my arms. "Dad is staying for the play" he grinned as I smiled back.

"That's great babe…..Thanks Ches" I whispered as Sophie entered the room. Our eyes met briefly as she quickly pulled her gaze away from mine.

"So Matty what role do you have in the play" Chesney asked him as he started giggling.

"I am the King in Cinderella" he stated proudly as I could see Sophie grinning. "Did she know that" I thought.

"So when is it" Chesney asked.

"This Friday" Sophie answered as I was taken aback.

"Yeah" I said to her as I smiled. At this right moment I saw a small glimpse of the old Sophie, the one that cared, that knew stuff about our family….the one I fell in love with.

…

_I was in the bathroom with yet another pregnancy stick. "I don't think I'll ever be pregnant" I thought as I was waiting for the results. Me and Sophie had been trying for months to have a baby, but no luck so far. I was in the bathroom alone yet again, cause Sophie couldn't handle it anymore after the miscarriage. I had carried the baby for a month, when complications ended my pregnancy. Sophie was distraught and I couldn't watch the disappointment on face anymore every time we tried to get pregnant again. So here I was in the bathroom as Sophie was enjoying a sunbath in the garden._

"_3 minutes the instructions said" I thought as I looked at my watch again. 50 seconds had gone by as I sighed. This was pure torture. I started tapping my foot against the floor as I became very nervous. I looked at my watch again 2m13 it said as I rubbed my hands together nervously. I waited another couple of seconds as I looked at my watch again. It said 3m23 as my mind screamed alarm code red. My hands started shaking as I pulled up the stick and looked at it. It said pregnant. "Pregnant?" my mind screamed. I almost started hyperventilating. I quickly took another test and waited another torturing 3 minutes and got the same result._

"_I'm pregnant" I whispered as I started laughing. "I'm pregnant!" I squealed as I ran out of the bathroom down the stairs. I ran outside to find Sophie talking to Matty._

"_Momma when I go to schuoool?" he asked her as she was telling him. She was about to pick him up as I she saw me running towards her. _

"_Sian what's wrong….baby are you okay" she asked as I jumped into her arms snaking my legs around her waist. _

"_Sian" she squealed. "Jesus what has gotten into you" she stated as I started kissing every inch of her face. "I mean I'm not complaining, but there is our underage child that's standing next to me" she stated as I kissed her passionately. "Sian again with the…." She said in between kisses. _

"_Shut up and kiss me" I said to her as she furrowed her brows. _

"_Sian…what's going…" she stated as I cut her off._

"_I'm pregnant" I squealed as her expression changed._

"_What" she whispered._

"_I'm pregnant babe, we are pregnant" I laughed as she put me down. _

"_Are you sure" She asked me as I nodded eagerly._

"_I took the test this morning…. Twice…..I'm sure, we're pregnant" I stated as she started laughing._

"_We're pregnant….. we're pregnant" she shouted as she pulled my off the ground twirling me around in her arms. "Oh my god I can't believe it" she stated as I kissed her gently on the lips. "I love you" she stated as I grinned._

"_I know…" I replied as she hugged me._

…

**Sophie pov**

Days went by and Matty's play was approaching. "Mum… I need to practice" he stated as he came over to me with his lines.

"Okay my dear King let's run your lines ay" I stated as he grinned. "Thanks mum" he said as he hugged me. "Okay so….. You have to go first Matthew… you ready" I asked him as he nodded and started reading his lines.

"I can't understand it. There must be at least one who'd make a sot…su…suii…" he started struggling.

"Suitable" I helped him.

"Suiiiitable" he said as I smiled and nodded. "Sui..Suitable mother" he said proudly.

"Shh. Sire" I replied.

"Er, a suita…" Matty started saying as the phone rang. I got up quickly and took the call.

"WEBSTER! Why didn't you come in last week" he screamed at me.

"Hi Carl….Listen I had some personal busyness to attend to last week" I said to him as I heard him scoff.

"Well care to enlighten me" he stated as I frowned.

"No like I said it's personal" I replied as he sighed.

"Well, you'll have to catch it up….so you're working overtime on Friday" he stated.

"What? No…I'm sorry I can't" I said to him nervously.

"Oh well I'm sorry to disturb your busy schedule, but I'm not leaving you a choice" he stated as I started panicking.

"Please Carl….it's my son's play…. I can't miss it…" I said as my voice broke.

"Oh save me the waterworks Webster, what has been up with you for the last couple of months…. You used to be my bulldog; you never complained about overtime, you even enjoyed it and look at you now whimpering like a lost Chihuahua." He replied as I sighed.

"I've just been having a hard couple of months" I stated.

"Haven't we all, you're working till 9 on Friday or you might as well kiss your career goodbye" he stated as he hung up the phone. I closed my eyes and sighed.

"You okay mum" Matty asked me as felt my stomach drop at the sound of his voice.

"Yeah….I'm fin" I croaked out. I tried to shake the feeling off and continued reading lines with him.

…

After Matty went to bed I picked up the phone and tried to find the courage to phone Sian. I dialed the number and waited for her to pick up. The dial tone seemed to last an eternity as a voice finally came trough at the other side.

"Hello" Sian said cheerfully.

"Hey…. It's me" I said to her. She must've noticed something was up as she changed her tone of voice.

"Oh hi….. Why are you calling me…. do you want to speak to the kids" she asked as I sighed.

"No I just…. I need to speak to you" I stated as she sighed.

"Sophie I can't do this….. whatever it is please let's just not okay? What happened before….. it shouldn't have happened…. I don't want it to…." she was rambling as I interrupted her.

"Sian… that's not why I'm calling, look I got the message okay…..we're both moving on" I stated.

"Then why are you calling me" she asked confused.

"It's about Matty's play… I can't make it, Carl is making me work overtime….I'm sorry" I stated as she scoffed.

"Carl is making you work overtime? Or you are making yourself? You know what Sophie I thought you tried to make an effort to be in our children's life, but I guess it was all just an act" she snarled.

"That's not true I am trying…. Sian if I don't do it I'll…." I said as she cut me off.

"You know what Sophie go fuck yourself….. and don't think I'm telling him about this, you are…..you're going to look in that little boy's eyes and tell him that you're not going to his play. You can break his heart this time, I've been doing it on your behalf for years and I'm done… I'll see you on Sunday" she snapped as she hung up on me. I sighed and threw the phone against the wall.

"Uggggghhhhh" I screamed in frustration. I wanted to go, I just couldn't.

…

"Ah Webster…. I'm glad you're coming back into the office… we've missed you" Carl said sarcastically.

"Hello sir" I said quietly as he turned his back on me. I looked at the clock.

'_7h56_'

I sighed, today was Friday…. I thought if I could finish the job I had to do today….I might would be able to make it to Matty's play. When I told Matty I might not be able to make it, he didn't make a peep. He just looked at me and sighed as he turned his gaze back to the TV. "Okay….but Sian's coming right?" he asked very quietly as I nodded and he smiled shyly.

I started working as fast as I could, not even taking a lunch break. I was ecstatic to finish at 4h30. Matty's play started at 5h15 so I had just enough time to make it. That was until Carl asked me to join his meeting.

"Okay guys we're doing really well…. But I still want to hear what everybody's been up to" he cheered. "Luca…. How are you on the gang violence article" he asked him.

"I just have some finishing touches to do and it's ready for printing" he stated. I wasn't really listening to what the others were saying as my gaze was fixated on the clock begging it to go slower.

"WEBSTER" Carl shouted as I jumped.

"Yes Sir" I asked as he scrunched up his face.

"Are we boring you…?" He asked me as I shook my head.

"Uhm…. No sir" I answered nervously as all eyes were fixated on me.

"Well then would you like tell me how you are on the Egypt article" he asked me as the whole room started laughing. I gulped.

"Uhm well it's done….it's ready for printing sir" I answered him as he smiled.

"Good" he mumbled as he continued speaking to the others.

_4h57….5h04….5h14 _the clock continued ticking as I sighed. I was too late and the meeting was still going. "Shit shit shit" my mind rambled.

"Okay everybody that was that for today….get back to work and I'll see you tomorrow" he stated as I got up as quickly as I could and made my way out only to be stopped by Carl again.

"Webster….. Where do you think you're going" he asked as I dropped my head.

"Uhm….well I finished the work for today so I thought I could just go ho…." I started saying as he snorted.

"Do you even know the meaning of working overtime" he asked me sarcastically as I closed my eyes to hide their rolling.

"Look….. I did my work….please I'll work all night if you want tomorrow…. Just please let me go" I stated as I gazed at the clock again. _5h23_

"Well I don't know Sophie…. What would you give me in return" he smirked wiggling his eyebrows as I felt sick to my stomach.

"What?" I stated angrily. "What are you insinuating Carl" I asked him sternly.

"Oh come on…. you've wanted me since you started working on this floor" he said as my eyes almost popped out of my head. I tried really hard not to laugh at what he was saying.

"What! No actually and I don't like the way you're talking to me, I could report you for sexual harassment" I stated as his expression changed and he groped me by the arm and dragged me into the copying room.

"What are you doing" I shouted at him as he pushed me against the wall. "STOP" I shouted as he started to unzip his trousers. "Oh my god is this really happening" I thought. "Please don't …HELP" I screamed as he pushed me against the wall. I winced in pain as my back hit the wall.

"BE quiet you little bitch" he muttered as I started whimpering. Luckily for me Luca burst into the copying room.

"What the….get the fuck off of her you pig" he screamed as he pushed him off me and I glided on to the ground crying out of shock.

"Are you okay Sophie" he asked me as he put his hand on my shoulder. He took Carl out of the copying room and phoned the police.

…

"Here" he said as he handed me the cup of tea.

"Thanks" I breathed as I looked at the clock again and started panicking. 5h46. I put down the cup and got up.

"Sophie what are you doing are you okay" he asked me.

"No I'm not…." I whimpered as he sighed.

"I'm sorry that was a stupid question….. Sophie where are you going, the police need your statement" he stated as I kept going.

"I…. I need to get to my son's play….I'm already late and…." I said as my whole body was shaking and I dropped my handbag. I kneeled down to the ground trying to put everything back as tears started streaming down my cheeks.

"Sophie stop" he said to me. "Just call your husband and tell him what happened" he stated as I scoffed.

"No… I need to go….my _wife _already thinks I don't care about our kids…. I need to get there…I…. please" I started begging him.

"Okay okay….. calm down I'll tell the police you'll give your statement later and I'll drive you." he stated as I smiled gratefully.

"Thanks" I replied.

…

Luckily I arrived at the break. I tried looking for those piercing blue through the crowd, but couldn't find them.

"Sophie?" a voice said behind me as I turned around and was met with those eyes I had been longing for. "You _made_ it?" she asked slowly as I put on a brave face and smiled.

"Great….uhm good, Matty will be….he'll be very happy" she smiled as she narrowed her eyes and looked at my hands that were still shaking. "Are you okay, you're shaking" she asked me as I gulped and nodded. "What happened" she asked me as they were calling for us to go back to our seats as the play would be starting again.

"Nothing, I'm fine" I muttered as she led me to our seats.


	9. Chapter 9

**Chapter 9**

**Sian pov**

I was just about to go in when I saw a familiar pair of legs. I looked up and saw Sophie standing there. She seemed so lost.

"Sophie" I said curiously as she turned around. "You made it?" I asked her stunned by her appearance. She nodded as I was sensing something weird. Her gaze it seemed like we were back at St. Claire's. I looked down at her hands and saw they were shaking. I furrowed my brows. "Are you okay? You're shaking" I said as I wanted to hold her hands, but decided not to. She just nodded nervously, but I didn't buy it. Something happened. "What happened" I asked her as I could see her struggling to keep her smile on.

"Nothing I'm fine" she stated as we were went back to our seat.

"Sophie…" I started saying but she sighed.

"I'm fine Sian….besides even if I wasn't it wouldn't be any of your busyness now would it?" she snapped at me as I turned my gaze. "Let's just watch the play yeah" I heard her say.

"Yeah" I echoed as the play started and Matty came on the scene. I grinned at his performance; he looked so cute in his outfit.

"He looks so great….it's like he's beaming" Sophie stated as I looked at her.

"Yeah" I replied as she furrowed her brows.

"Where's Lily" she asked me.

"Uhm at Derek's….. She had a fever so I let him babysit her" I stated as she smiled at me.

"Oh" she muttered as she turned her gaze back to the stage.

After a few minutes we saw all the children started dancing as the ball scene started, they had hung stars and glitters everywhere and turned off the lights. It was magical, it was so beautiful. I looked at Sophie, who seemed as amazed as I was. I subconsciously brushed my leg against hers as she looked at me. Her gaze was so intense, I was losing my mind looking in those piercing blue eyes. I felt like I was drowning as she was leaning in feeling butterflies but also fear erupt in my stomach. Thankfully the scene was over and they switched the lights on again. I looked at her uncomfortably as she shuffled back into her seat. I was panting as I closed my eyes and breathed in shakily, I don't think I would've stopped her, if the lights hadn't been switched on again.

…

It was the end of the play and all the kids came out with a single candle in their hand. I wasn't really pleased to see 30 kids, each holding a candle. "I mean it only takes on to drop it and the place could be up in flames" I thought. I shuffled uncomfortably in my seat as Sophie clapped eagerly.

"You okay" she murmured in my ear. I got lost in her smell, her breath tickling against my skin. "Sian?" she said to me.

"Uhm yeah I just…. I just don't like that all the kids have candles in their hands….I mean if one drops a candle, they could all….." I started rambling as she put her hand on my arm.

"Sian it's fine, they won't…." she started saying as a child screamed. I looked at the stage and saw Matty and 2 others had dropped their candle as they collided with each other. Matty's outfit caught fire as we got up. I started panicking.

"Math" Sophie screamed as she ran to him. The fire was spreading over the stage as the school teacher tried to get all of the kids off of the stage while taking off Matty's jacket that was on fire. Sophie got on the stage and started tapping against his clothes as I followed. He was screaming.

"Mummy mummy…. Siaaaan" he was panicking as we got the fire out and we hugged him. I sighed in relief.

"Oh god…." Sophie breathed as she hugged him tighter. "Are you okay…. where does it hurt" I asked him inspecting his body as Sophie let go of her grip. I was looking for any burns as Sophie got up.

"Where are you going" I asked her as she looked as if she was about to drop a bomb.

"I'm going to kick the arse of the bitch who thought giving 30 seven year olds a candle was a good idea" she snarled as I got up.

"Soph don't" I said to her as her expression softened. "I think he's fine, she got his jacket off in time….he's just a bit shaken." I stated as she nodded and hugged me out of nowhere. She tightened her grip around my shoulders as she started shaking and I felt warm tears damp my shirt. I snaked my arms around her waist as she sobbed quietly. "Hey it's okay….he's fine" I said as I stroked her hair as Matty hugged my side. "It's okay…..we're all okay" I stated as she pulled out of the embrace.

"Thanks" she sniffed as I smiled her. "Let's get out of here yeah" she said to Matty who ran to her and she took him in her arms. "It's okay…. you're okay" she said as she smiled at me.

…

"Here you go Math…. Your fries" she said to him as she sat down at the table and sighed. Matty didn't touch his fries, neither did Sophie for that matter.

"Hey we're all okay….. you know what I'll call Derek and ask him to come over with Lily. What do you say? We can have a family dinner" I said to Matty as he rolled his eyes. I looked at Sophie who was looking blankly ahead as she was stirring her tea. "Soph?" I said to her as she snapped her head up.

"What?" she asked groggily.

"I'm calling Derek, so we can have a family dinner… calm down a bit" I said to her as she smiled.

"Uhm where's Chesney" she asked me.

"He left at the break….he had to catch his plane" I explained as she nodded again. "Soph…are you okay" I asked her as she frowned.

"What do you think Sian… my son was on fire like not even an hour ago and I …. Of course I'm not okay" she snarled at me.

"That's not what I meant… God Sophie, you were acting weird before the fire happened" I stated as she rolled her eyes.

"I'm fine" she mumbled as I felt like I was back 8 months ago.

…

"_Happy birthday dear Lilyyyyyy, happy birthday to youuuuuuu!" we all sang as I noticed Sophie still hadn't come down. "Fuck sakes that's it" I muttered. _

"_Sian babes where you going" Rosie asked me. _

"_To get your sister" I said annoyed as she gave me as sympathetical smile. I stormed up the stairs and entered our bedroom. As I entered it I saw Sophie behind her flaming laptop again, "I swear she loves that thing more than she loves her own family" I thought as I went over to her and crossed my arms expectedly. "You coming down" I asked her as she sighed. _

"_Uhm yeah in a bit" she said nonchalantly as I started to get angry. _

"_Sophie it's Lily's second birthday she won't get any more like this" I stated as she sighed again and stopped typing. _

"_Look I'll be down in a half an hour okay…. I need to get this done" she stated as she turned her gaze back to her computer. I was fuming at this point as I closed her laptop and she kicked off. _

"_SIAN!" she started screaming. _

"_NO, you listen to me….. now I don't care that you have to work until three tonight….this is about Lily okay, so get away from you fucking laptop Sophie and get down them stairs." I shouted at her as she got up angrily. _

"_Is this about last week, are you still angry cause I said 'fine I'll kiss you'" she asked as my eyes widened. _

"_No! well yeah….. no…. look don't change the subject today is about Lily okay, so please" I said gesturing at the door. She closed her eyes and sighed. I waited for a couple more seconds before I headed towards the door. "Who are you" muttered as my voice broke._

"_Sian wait" she said as I turned around."Look I'm sorry" she said to me as she grasped my wrist and pulled my closer to her. She cupped my face and tried to kiss me as I flinched. "Sian….look I know okay…..I screwed up…. I just…. the work it's really stressful, and I know that that's not an excuse…..I'll come down with you okay….you're right, I should be there for her" she said as I felt myself calm down. _

"_Good" I stated as she smiled._

"_Baby I'm sorry, please let's not fight" she pleaded with me as I sighed and looked at her. _

"_What happened to us… what happened to you? You used to jump at the opportunity for a walk in the park with me and the kids, you used love taking showers with me, you used to make love to me every day, you used to tug Matty and Lily in….read them stories with me…" I whimpered. _

"_I don't know" she whispered. "The job just gets in the way sometimes" she stated as I scoffed at her. _

"_How about all the time" I said to her as she sat down on the bed. _

"_I know" she said quietly as I went to sit next to her. _

"_Look I know your job is important and it does take a lot of your time, but I just… I need you to be here….with me" I stated as she looked at me. _

"_I know….. and I will, I promise" she said to me as I sighed. _

"_Really" I asked skeptically. _

"_Yeah really, I'm serious" she said as I smirked._

"_I love you, I know I don't say it often enough, but I do" she stated as she took my hand and I melted at her touch. "I could never stay mad at her for too long, it was just too hard" I thought as I smiled at her. "Kiss me" she asked me as I chuckled. _

"_Fine I'll kiss you" I smirked trying to sound annoyed as I wrapped my arms around her neck and kissed her gently. I felt her arms around my waist as they pulled my closer. I let my tong glide into her mouth as the kiss got more heated. Her teeth were tugging at my bottom lip as let out a small moan. "God I had missed this" I thought as we pulled out of the kiss. She was about to get out of my arms as I hugged her. "Thank you….God I miss you" I stated as she her grip got tighter. _

"_I miss you too babe" she said tenderly. "I'll fix this okay….tell you what, I'll ask my boss for some time off so we can spend some quality time together ay" she stated wiggling her eyebrows as I started laughing. _

"_I love you" I said as she pecked my lips again. _

"_I love you too….. now let's get down them stairs and eat some cake, I'm starving" she said as she entwined our fingers and led me downstairs._

…

I got snapped out of the memory by my phone that started buzzing. I looked at Sophie who was focused on her cup of tea that probably went cold by now. "Hello" I said as I heard Derek's voice.

"Wow Derek slow down…what's going on…what!" I almost screamed as Sophie snapped her head up. I started panting as Derek continued. "What?...oh my god" I whimpered. "Yeah….. we're coming" I stated as I looked at Sophie who seemed unsettled.

"Is everything okay….. what happened…. Sian" she said as I struggled to get my words out.

"Soph….I…. we need to go to the…." I stumbled over my words.


	10. Chapter 10

**Chapter 10**

**Sophie pov**

I watched Sian hang up the phone and saw panic in her eyes. Her hands were shaking she was stumbling over her words.

"Sian… what is it" I snapped at her as I shook her shoulders.

"Lily…. She…. Derek took her to the hospital…." She started rambling, but as soon as I heard the combination of Lily and hospital I stood up and put on my coat. "Soph…. what if she…" she started panicking.

"Sian" I said as I cupped her face as she met my eyes. "Calm down okay….. Don't panic….we're going to the hospital and see what's happening okay" I said to her as she breathed shakily. "Math grab your coat, we have to go see your sister" I said to him as he put on his coat and grabbed my hand.

We rushed to the hospital. Sian almost knocked down a couple nurses while making her way to the E.R..

"Derek" she shouted as we saw him standing at the end the hallway. He hugged her as I got to him and joined the hug.

"What happened" I asked him as he started fiddling with his hands.

"I don't know….she had a small fever before and I left her for like a half an hour to get a brew and…..then she….I checked her fever and it was so high, dangerously high….I'm sorry" he started rambling.

"Hey it's okay…. thank you for calling us" I said to him.

"Did you see a doctor yet" Sian asked him as he shook his head.

"No they told me only family could see the doctor, I didn't know what to do" he stated as I hugged him again. We waited for a half an hour as a doctor came to speak to us.

"Mrs. Webster" he said as we both got up holding each other's hand.

"Is she okay, what happened" Sian asked nervously.

"She's fine, we put her on some fluids and medication to get her fever down….. She had a small infection so we also put her on medication that will help fighting It." he stated as I felt Sian's hand relax.

"Can we see her" she asked him as he nodded.

"Of course" he said as we both went to her room as Derek followed with Matty in his arms. As we reached the room I realized that we were still holding hands. Sian pulled me to the bed.

"Are they sure she's okay, she has so many tubes and wires…. Why does she have so many wires Soph" she said as she turned to me.

"I don't know…. Look she'll be fine okay…. she's a fighter just like her mum… the doctor said she's gonna be all right, okay" I said as Sian snaked her hands around my waist a buried her face in my chest.

"Hey little girl you gave me quit the scare" Derek said as he leaned over the bed.

"Yeah she gave us all a scare" I stated as I was stroking Sian's hair. Derek looked at me and smirked as he looked at Sian who was resting her head in the crook of my neck.

"Uhm come on Math, let me show you the coffee machine" he said as he took Matthew out of the room leaving me alone with Sian.

"Come on let's sit down okay…. it's been a long day" I said to her as she followed me. I realized there was only one chair and let go of her so she could sit down.

"Sophie what about you" she asked as I shrugged.

"It's okay, I'm fine standing right here" I smiled as she shook her head and pushed me down on the chair. "Sian you're exhausted, you should…" I didn't have time to finish my sentence as she sat down on my lap and buried her head in my neck. "Sian what are you doing" I asked her as she sighed.

"Just shut up" she stated as she wrapped her arms around my neck. I smiled as I looked into her eyes. I wanted to kiss her so badly, make her feel better, but I knew if I kissed her I would only push her away. "Okay" I whispered as I snaked my hands around her waist. Before I knew it she started whimpering again. "Hey it's okay….she's okay" I said as I pulled her into me.

"Thank you" she mumbled in my neck as I felt her tears fall down on my shoulder. "For what" I whispered in her ear as she snapped her head up and look straight at me.

"Being here….. I don't know if I could've handled this on my own" she stated as my phone started buzzing. "Sorry… it's work, I'll turn it off" I stated as she frowned.

"No Soph…. it might be important" she said as I hung up. "No it won't be….it's fine, they're probably whining why I left so early" I stated as she smiled.

"I thought you were working overtime" she asked me as I nodded. "Yeah I was…..I finished the work in time though… can't do anymore assignments if I don't have any" I smirked as she hugged me and my phone started buzzing again. I sighed. "Answer it" she stated.

"Sian…." I started saying as she took the phone out of my hands and answered it for me.

"Hello….what? No this is Sia… this is her wife" she said as her gaze intensified. I realized to whom she was talking and snatched the phone out of her hands. "Hello this is Sophie Webster" I said into the phone.

"Oh hey Soph, it's Luca" he said as I smiled.

"Hey…. Look now isn't a good time" I said to him as he sighed.

"Soph you need to give a statement, the police won't be able to keep him for much longer if you don't press charges" he stated as I started fiddling nervously with the hem of my shirt.

"Look I'm at the hospital I can't talk right now okay" I said to him as he agreed and hung up.

"What was that all about, who were you talking to" she asked me as I sighed.

"No one" I answered as she raised an eyebrow.

"Seemed pretty familiar with him" she snarled as I felt her tense up.

"Well I'm not, can mind you own fucking business for once please" I said as she got off my lap and I stormed out of the room.

…

**Sian pov**

I felt myself getting jealous as I heard her talking to that guy. "I didn't mean to snarl at her, it just got under my skin that her _friend_ would be calling her now." I thought.

"Where did Sophie go" Derek asked as he came back into the room with Matthew.

"She went for a bit of fresh air" I lied as Derek looked at me suspiciously. I walked over to Lily's cot and looked at my little girl that seemed to be sound asleep.

"Sian what happened" he asked me as I shrugged. "We're both just very stressed" I stated as he scoffed. "For god sakes Sian, your daughter is in the hospital and you're still arguing" he snarled at me.

"Please… don't lecture me right now" I said to him. "I know okay" I stated as he put his arm around my shoulder.

"Look just rest, I'll take Matty home with me so you can relax a bit okay" he suggested as I nodded. "Thanks…. Matty, honey Uncle Derek is gonna take you home okay" I said to him as he started shaking his head. "Math…" I started saying as he hugged my waist.

"No! I wanna stay here with you and mummy and Lily" he stated as I kneeled down and hugged him.

"I know babe, but it's already beyond your bedtime…. Please, we'll be home tomorrow okay" I said to him as he started fussing.

"No…. where's mum" he yammered as I sighed and dropped my head.

"She just nipped out for a second, but she'll be home tomorrow okay….please baby" I said to him as he rubbed his eyes and nodded. "Thank you" I said to him as I got up and kissed Derek on the cheek.

"Take care yeah…." I said as he hugged me and left the room with Matty.

I sat down in the chair and tried to put myself in a comfortable position as I started to doze off.

…

"_Sian are you ready to go" I heard her shout. _

"_Yeah… as good as ready" I squealed as I almost jumped down the stairs. _

"_Sian be careful, you have to take it easy…. I don't want you overdoing it" she said to me as I rolled my eyes._

"_Soph, I'm pregnant not cripple….did you get peanut butter and pickles" I asked her as she scrunched up her nose. _

"_Yeah I did…. honey those cravings of yours get weirder by the week… seriously" she smirked as I slapped her arm playfully. _

"_Let's go yeah" I said as we drove to the hospital._

…_._

"_Ah here's my favourite couple" Dr. Denora said as we got into her office. "So how are you doing, any pains, discomfort….." she started saying as we shook our heads. "Good, now let's take a look" she stated as she put me on the consulting table. Sophie sat in the chair next to me and held my hand. _

"_Okay this is gonna be a little cold" she said as put the gel on my belly. "Strong heartbeat…..okay do you want to know the baby's sex" she said as I frowned confused._

"_What?Wait I thought we could only know it in about 2 weeks" I stated as she smiled at me. _

"_Well normally yes, but I can already determine the sex….so would you like to know it" she asked me as I looked at Sophie. _

"_Do you want to… I know we haven't really discussed it but…" I started saying as Sophie put her finger on my mouth. _

"_I want to know if you want to know" she smiled as I nodded at the doctor. _

"_Okay well you're having a girl, congratulations….I'll give you two a minute" she smiled as she left a room. _

"_We're having a girl" she whispered. _

"_Yeah…. We're having a girl" I squealed as I hugged her. We both started laughing. "God I'm so happy you came back for this consult" I said as I kissed her passionately. "Me too" she breathed in between kisses. My tong was gliding over her bottom lip begging her for entrance as she eagerly granted it. Our tongs battled passionately as the kiss got heated. "Make love to me Soph" I moaned in her mouth as she pulled away. _

"_Really" she smirked as I pulled her back into me. "What right now…. Here" she asked as I nibbled her neck. "Sian… we can't…. hospital…" she was moaning inbetween her words. "SIAN stop…. I'm taking you home and I'll make love to you there" she stated sternly as I started chuckling. "You're unbelievable" she smirked. _

"_I can't help it these pregnancy hormones are making me horny and we haven't had a chance to be together since you got back yesterday" I pouted as she kissed my lips. _

"_Well let's go then" she whispered as Dr. Denora came back into the room. _

"_Sian…..Sian….Sia…." I heard someone repeating my name. _

…

"Sian…. Wake up…. Sian" I felt someone shaking me as I opened my eyes.

"Sophie?" I asked as she smiled.

"Hey…. Sorry to wake you, but the doctor's was just here…. I thought you'd wanna know…" she said to me looking at the bed as I realized where I was. I was back in the hospital room, with my Lily in a hospital bed.

"Yeah it's fine, what did he say_" _I asked her as she smiled at me.

"We can take her home tomorrow" she smiled as I sighed in relief.

"Thank god for that" I stated as she shuffled awkwardly. "Listen Sian, I'm sorry about before… I shouldn't have snapped at you." she said to me as I looked down.

"No _I'm_ sorry…. I was acting weird… truce" I said as she nodded. "Yeah truce" she smiled as someone knocked at the door.

We both turned around and saw a guy standing awkwardly in the doorway.


	11. Chapter 11

**Chapter 11**

**Sophie pov**

"… Could you mind your own fucking business for once please" I said as she got off my lap and I stormed out of the room. I got out of the room and started wondering the halls as I bumped into Dr. Moonings.

"Oh hi Dr. Moonings" I said to him. "Hello Sophie, I wasn't expecting you today" he stated as I started fiddling with my hands.

"Yeah I know….uhm my daughter was brought in earlier this afternoon" I stated. "Oh she's okay I hope" he asked as I smiled and nodded. "Yeah she's fine, she had an infection, but they say she's gonna be just fine" I said nervously.

"Are you okay Sophie" he asked me as I answered too quickly.

"Yeah fine…. Great" I smiled but he wasn't convinced.

"Sophie, have you talked to your wife about…." He started saying as I cut him off.

"NO…no I haven't…..look I had a really long day, first my boss almost….and then my son and now my daughter" I started rambling as he put his hand on my shoulder.

"You want to talk about it, I have a free hour now….if you want we can talk some more about the…." He was saying gently as I smiled.

"Thank you, but no I should get back to my wife" I stated as I walked away. "It was good to see you again" I heard him say as I waved at him. I made my way to the garden and sat down taking in my surroundings.

…_._

"_You're sure now?….. but you're gonna be all right….right" Rosie asked nervously. _

"_I don't know…. I don't know Rosie" I said to her as my voice broke. _

"_It's okay…..have you told Sian yet?" she said to me as I shook my head. "No….. she can't know….. I don't want her to come back out of pity or worse me knowing she won't come back to me not even with this not even out of pity, meaning she just wouldn't care… I can't Rosie….. she won't care" I whimpered as she tried to sooth me. _

"_Maybe we should tell mum and dad" she suggested as I snorted at her. _

"_Mum and dad? Are you serious? I haven't spoken to them in over 7 years….. and the last thing I need from mum is a big I told you so after she realizes that me and Sian aren't together anymore" I said to her as I felt her tense up. _

"_Uhm….Sophie they kind of already know that…. I told them" she stated as my eyes almost popped out of my head. _

"_What! What do you mean…. how could you Rosie?" I asked her. _

"_I last saw them….it just came out…I'm sorry" she said nervously as I sighed. _

"_They don't know about this too do they?" I asked suspiciously as she was trying to avoid my gaze. "ROSIE! How could you do that…. Sian doesn't even know" I stated angrily as Rosie looked down. _

"_I'm sorry " she whispered. _

"_Damn right…. God I can't believe you" I snarled at her as I got up. _

"_Sophie I only told them about what might be happening, they don't know that it's for are you going" she asked me as I put on my jacket. _

"_Home" I hissed as I walked out of the door. _

…

I walked back to Lily's room and noticed Sian was soon asleep. I bend over to her and started stroking her hair. She always seemed so peaceful when she slept; I used to watch her for hours when I got home late. I was startled by a knock on the door as Lily's doctor came in.

"Mrs. Webster" he said to me as I diverted his gaze to Sian.

"Just let her sleep, she's exhausted" I stated as he nodded in agreement. "I just came in to brief you about your daughter's condition" he stated as I breathed in shakily.

"She will be okay right?" I asked him nervously as he smiled and nodded. "Yes, Lily is a strong child she will pull through….we want to keep her for the night though just to be sure" he stated.

"Right" I said blankly. "Mrs. Webster, I presume you and your wife will be staying the night" he asked as I nodded slowly. "Right, well I'll ask the nurses to put up a bed….. now if you excuse me I have to be in theatre in 10 minutes, I'll leave you to it" he stated as he turned around and left the room. I sighed as I looked at Sian.

"Sian….Sian, bab…..Sian" I said as I was shaking her gently. She had been sleeping over 2 hours now and they had just put up the bed. I wanted her to sleep in the bed and not this uncomfortable chair. She started stirring as she fluttered her eyelids open. She looked at me with those big blue eyes as I felt my stomach flip over

"Hey…. Sorry to wake you, but the doctor's was just here…. I thought you'd wanna know…" I stuttered as she started looking around.

"Yeah it's fine, what did he say_" _she asked me.

"We can take her home tomorrow" I smiled as she sighed in relief. I couldn't take my eyes of off her and suddenly felt guilty for snapping at her.

"Thank god for that" She stated as I started shuffling my feet. "Listen Sian, I'm sorry about before… I shouldn't have snapped at you." I said still looking at the ground afraid of meeting those eyes again.

"No _I'm_ sorry…. I was acting weird… truce" she said as I finally looked up and nodded. "Yeah truce" I smiled. I jumped as someone knocked on the door, I turned my gaze and saw Luca standing there awkwardly.

"Hi….sorry to disturb you, but Sophie the police really need your statement" he stated as my eyes almost popped out of my head. I looked at Sian who's was staring at me confused.

"Statement?" she frowned as I felt myself panicking. I didn't want Sian to know and was fuming with anger towards Luca.

"Luca can I see you outside for a moment please" I said sternly clenching my teeth together. "Wait….Sophie, what is he…" she started asking as I kneeled down and squeezed her hand gently.

"I'll explain later okay" I said to her as she sighed and leaned into the chair, arms crossed. "Fine" she huffed as I left the room with Luca.

"What the hell Luca" I hissed at him as he furrowed his brows.

"What? You need to make that statement or that creep will be out tomorrow afternoon" he stated as I sighed.

"Look, now isn't a good time, I can make that statement tomorrow" I said to him as his gaze fell upon Sian. "Soph….she doesn't know what happened does she" he asked me as I turned my eyes away from him. "No…and I'd like it to stay that way…we already have so much on our plate right now, _this_ can wait" I said as I started heading back into the room.

"Sophie…have you talked to anybody about this" he asked me as I sighed in frustration.

"NO! I just want to forget it ever happened okay…so please just let me be in peace" I stated angrily as he backed off. I went back into the waiting room and caught Sian watching my every move.

"What was that all about" she asked me as I shrugged. "Soooph, who was that…..wait was that the guy who called you earlier" she huffed.

"Just let it be Sian" I said quietly. "Sophie… what was he talking about… what statement" she asked me as I felt myself getting nervous.

"Nothing, just some legal stuff from work" I stated but she wasn't convinced.

"Legal stuff?" she said as she raised an eyebrow. "What happened at work? Did something…" she started asking.

"What is this? 20 questions? Look Sian, nothing happened okay…. and even if something did, it's none of your business is it?" I snapped at her as I could see the hurt in her eyes. "Let's just go to bed, the nurses put this up for us" I said to her.

"Great" she huffed as she looked at the single.

"Look if you don't like it, you can always sleep in the chair" I said to her as another flash of hurt appeared in her eyes. I knew I was hurting her, but I couldn't help my anger.

"Fine" she snarled as she went to sit back into the chair. I laid down in the bed and tried to sleep, but couldn't every time I closed my eyes I couldn't help but open them and see Sian trying to get into a comfortable position. After a while I sighed and sat up.

"Get in the bed Sian" I whispered as she raised her head. She diverted her gaze and crossed her arms. "Sian stop being so pigheaded and get in the bed….I promise I won't grope ya" I stated as I could see her lips curl into a smile. "Fine, just don't touch me" she huffed as she climbed into the bed. "That's gonna be hard, seeing as this is a single" I stated as I could hear her smirk.

…

"_Please babe….it'll only be for 2 nights" I begged her as she groaned. "Please…please…please" I started pouting. _

"_All right…Jesus you're worse than Matty" she stated as I kissed her gently letting my arms pull her closer into me. "Thank you" I said to her as I kissed her again this time more passionately. "But you better stay by my side the whole time…. I don't want to be cornered by that boss of yours" she stated as I started laughing. _

"_Carl's all right" I stated as she scowled at me. _

"_He is a creep… I really don't like him; he looks at you like you're some sort of prey." She huffed as I kissed her neck. _

"_Jealous babe?" I sniggered as she snorted at me. "Of him, not a chance…." She started saying as I raised an eyebrow. "Okay fine….I'm jealous of your boss, I'm aloud aren't I?…. He's a slime bag, he's always all over you….I just don't like him" she stated as I pecked her lips. _

"_Good" I said to her as she frowned. "Good?" she echoed as I nodded. "I like it when you're jealous, makes you look dead sexy….besides reminds me that you love me and that I'm yours…..like you're mine" I sniggered as she pushed me against the kitchen counter. _

"_I'm yours ay" she said as she was closing in. "Uhu…. That assistant at that shop of yours better know that your mine" I stated as she started laughing. "Don't tell me you're jealous of Aria" she said to me as I started to blush. _

"_Awwwh babe, there is no need to be jealous…. She doesn't swing our way" she stated as she put her arms around my neck and started kissing every inch of my face until she settled for my lips. "I love you" she whispered as she started nibbling on my neck._

…_._

"_Hi Carl….this is my wife Sian" I stated as I introduced Sian to the group. We had been invited to this weekend and I wanted to bring her with me. "Well it's nice to meet you finally, Webster won't shut up about you" he said as I started blushing. Sian looked at me and smiled as she kissed my cheek._

"_Really? All good I hope" she sniggered as Carl shook his head. "That I can't promise" he stated as he turned on his heels. "What is he talking about" she asked quietly as I shook my head. "I don't know…. I mean I'm a bit in a mood, when we fight but that's it…. I swear babe" I said to her as she kissed my lips gently. "Okay….he's weird Soph….I wish you had a different boss" she stated as I held her hand and leaded her to other colleagues._

"_Ah so this is the infamous Sian" one of my colleagues said as I squeezed Sian's hand gently. "Hi, I'm Danny, I was in Greece with Sophie" he stated as she smiled and shook his hand. "You're very lucky to have a wife like Sophie" his girlfriend said. "This one here only called my twice a week, while Sophie on the other hand called you everyday aren't right" she sniggered as Sian started laughing. "Yeah well I couldn't help it, I missed her to much" I said as grinned lovingly at Sian who was fucking me with her eyes right now. _

"_You're making me look bad Webster" Danny joked as I snaked my hand around Sian's waist and kissed her neck. _

"_Well that's not very hard to do Danny" I joked as the group erupted in laughter._

…

I woke up feeling someone hit my sides. I fluttered my eyes and saw Sian stirring uncontrollably. "Sian" I whispered as I saw she was having a nightmare. "Sian" I said a bit louder, but no luck she kept tossing and turning her face scrunched up in fear. "Sian" I said sternly as I took hold of her hands and put them above her head. "No…" she was saying in her sleep. "Honey wake up….you're having a nightmare" I said as she was kicking me with her legs. "Babe" I said as I straddled her and the stirring stopped. She looked at me in fear as I suddenly felt self-conscious letting go of her arms and got off of her.

"Soph" she whispered barely hearable. "Yeah…. Are you okay" I asked her as she shook her head and sat up.

"I don't know….I…" she stuttered as I caught on to the signs of her behavior. Sweating, stuttering, shaking…. She was having that kind of nightmares again.

"I thought the nightmares stopped over a year ago" I asked her as she wiped her eyes.

"No they started to come back recently" she said nervously. "What? Why didn't you tell me" I asked her as she shrugged. "What was the nightmare about…. Was it about the sh…" I started saying as she cut me off.

"NO…. I mean…I… don't know" she whimpered as sighed and wrapped my arms around her frail body. "You're safe now" I said to her as I kissed her forehead and rocked her gently.

"Let's go back to sleep yeah?" I said to her as she nodded laying her head back on the pillow.

….

I woke up and felt my arm wrapped around something… I opened my eyes and became aware of the warm body that was pressed against me. I saw the strands of blond hair laying on the pillow as I nuzzled my face closer to her neck breathing in her scent. My hand was lying on her stomach with her hand entwined; I kissed her shoulder lightly as I felt her flinch.

"Sorry" I whispered as she turned around.

"No I… Good morning" she smiled shyly as she turned around and untangled our fingers.


	12. Chapter 12

**Chapter 12**

**Sian pov**

I woke up with Sophie's arm wrapped around me. I felt her pressed up against me and breathed in her smell entwining our fingers. God I loved that smell in the morning. I know I should untangle myself from her, but I just laid there eyes wide open as I felt her move. She put her head in the crook of my neck, her breath tickling my skin and kissed my should from behind. I was snapped back to reality the moment her lips brushed over my shoulder as I flinched.

"Sorry" she whispered knowing she crossed a line.

"No…I… Good morning" I said not knowing what else to say as I turned around.

"Morning" she mumbled as her arm was still draped over my stomach. I looked over to lily's bed and saw her feet moving.

"Soph look… she's awake" I smiled as she turned around and a grin appeared on her face. "Yeah she is" she replied as she turned her gaze back to me.

"Sian…. About last night…. if you're having nightmares again, maybe…" she started saying as I cut her off and sat up.

"No…. don't even think about finishing that sentence" I stated as I got up and made my way over to the cut.

"Why didn't you tell me" I heard her say as I just shrugged. "Sian…. I know we're having a difficult time, but…. I still care…. I still... l" she started saying as she was interrupted by her phone going off. "Fuck sakes" she muttered as she picked up. "Yeah….. I know…. Look I … what!" she almost shouted as I looked right at her. Something was wrong… I knew something was wrong the minute I saw her yesterday.

"Sophie, what's going on…. please just tell me…. like you said, we're having a rough patch but I care…. Okay? If something happened, are you in trouble?" I started asking as she brushed her hands through her hair.

"Sian please" she sighed as I started to get angry again.

"What? Not now is that what you're saying…. You know what Sophie I'm getting pretty tired of hearing that speech" I snapped at her as she sighed and started picking up her coat. "Where are you going?" I hissed at her as she shrugged.

"Home….then work" she stated as I walked over to her.

"Are you kidding me…. what about Lily?" I asked her as she sighed.

"Lily's fine Sian…. She can go home today" she smiled as shook my head. "Yeah she can go home but…. I thought we'd bring her home together…. like" I started saying as Sophie scoffed at me.

"Like what? A proper family, a nice stable family…. We haven't been a family the minute you walked out" she stated as my eyes almost popped out of my head.

"What! _We_ haven't been a family since you started paying more attention to your laptop than to us…. I didn't break up this family, you did" I shouted as Lily started crying. I quickly turned around and tried soothing Lily as Sophie came by my side and did the same. "I can't do this anymore Soph…. it's like I'm on a rollercoaster…. One minute, we get along and I see glimpses of who you used to be and the next minute…. You just…. Aggh…." I started pacing as I felt her hand in mine.

"I'm sorry….I" she started saying as I snapped my hand back.

"Don't…. look just leave…. You have to go to work so go" I said blankly.

"Sian…" she said coming closer to me. "No, look I'm sorry for snapping at you okay? I know your work is important…. Just go…. its fine" I smiled as sighed.

"I'll see you Sunday okay?" she said to me as I nodded and she left the room.

…

"All set" I said to Lily who was babbling happily to herself. "Okay here we go babe" I said as I picked her up. I was heading to the parking lot as I dropped my bag scattering the content on the floor.

"Shi….ssshoot" I said as I tried to put Lily down.

"Let me help" a familiar voice said as I looked up and saw Sophie's boss standing right above me.

"Uhm thanks…. I'm sorry aren't you my wife's boss…Uhm Carl Doosi" I asked him as he nodded happily. "Well it's nice to see you again" I said as he shook my hand. I never liked Sophie's boss, but I put up with him for her, I always thought he was a sleeze who wanted to get into Sophie's pants.

"Here you go….oh is this your little girl" he sniggered at Lily as I nodded nervously. For some reason I wanted him away from Lily.

"SIAN!" I heard someone scream as I saw Sophie run towards us. "Soph?" I mumbled as she came over to my side. "Hey, I thought you had to be at work" I said gently as she took my hand in hers and pulled me behind her, ignoring what I was saying.

"Stay away from them" she hissed as I frowned. "Sophie? What's going on" I asked her as I saw Carl taking a step forward. "I mean it Carl" she shouted at him as she took a step back.

"What are you planning on doing to make me Webster" he stated as I felt Sophie tense up.

"Well for one thing I've phoned the coppers…." She hissed as his smirk died and she took another step back closing into me.

"Letting someone else fight your battles ay…. What if took this lovely blond, would you fight then" he sniggered as Sophie clamped on to my hand.

"Get away from us…NOW" she hissed as we saw a couple of blokes heading towards us. His grin dropped and he turned on his heels. The minute he turned the corner I felt Sophie relax.

"Are you okay" she said as she turned around and hugged me. "Sophie what the hell is going on" I snapped at her as she pulled out of the hug. "I…" she was stuttering as I sighed.

"Fine, don't tell me" I said as I ripped my hand away from hers and started walking towards the car. I opened the car doors and put Lily in her car seat, struggling with the belt.

"He tried to rape me" I heard her say as I stopped my pace and turned around slowly seeing her broken and on the verge of tears. "I'm sorry I didn't tell you, I was…" she said as she was shaking now. I quickly put on Lily's belt and started walking towards the hospital. "Sian? Where are you going… I'm sorry please, don't…" she was almost crying as I reached her.

"Get in the car Sophie" I said to her as she furrowed her brows. "What?" she asked.

"Get in the car Sophie" I said gritting my teeth. "Sian, where are you going" she whimpered as I pulled her into a hug. "It's okay…. I'm gonna make this okay… he's gonna regret ever trying to lay a finger on you" I hissed as she pulled out of the hug.

"What? No…. no don't you dare go after him Sian…. He's dangerous" she said as she held on to my hand. "I'm not just gonna stand here and do nothing, while that scumbag almost raped my wife" I stated as tears started streaming down her cheeks. I felt my blood boil as I saw what state he put her in. I left her side and started heading where I saw him last. I walked in the toy store and spotted him.

"Oi" I said to him as I walked over to him.

"Ah… came back to get some anywa…" he didn't have time to finish his sentence as I punched him in the nose.

"Sian" I heard Sophie scream behind me but I didn't stop I punched him in the stomach pushing him to the floor.

"Not a nice feeling ay…. Helpless, weak….. if you ever come near me or my family again I will hit you where the sun don't shine you lowlife sex maniac" I screamed at him as Sophie tried to stop me from hitting him again. "Please stop…. Just take me home" she whimpered as my gaze softened.

…

"Here" I said as I gave her a cup of tea as we both sat down on the couch. "Are you feeling better?" I asked her as she nodded. "Soph why didn't you tell me…. I should've known something was wrong when you arrived at Matty's play" I stated as she sighed and took a sip out of her tea.

"Everything just happened so fast that day… we ended up in the hospital with Lily…. I guess my brain was just trying to cope with the most important thing first" she stated.

"What happened Soph" I asked her as she sighed deeply.

"I was on my way to Matty's play…. I was already late….. he stopped me saying I had to work overtime….. I begged him not to make me stay, but….." she gasped at her own words as I took hold of her hand brushing my thumb over her knuckles. "He said I'd always wanted him and then he cornered me in the copying room…..if it wasn't for Luca, I think I would've been…" she breathed as I squeezed her hand gently trying to give her comfort.

"I'm so sorry…. I wish I could make this go away" I said to her as she smiled shyly. She looked at her watch and put down her cup.

"I need to go make a statement" she stated as I smiled.

"Good…. You should make a statement….I'll come with you" I replied as she frowned.

"What? Why?" She asked me as I furrowed my brows.

"Isn't it obvious why" I stated. "Thought you couldn't do this anymore with me" she said to me as I sighed.

"I can't, this doesn't change anything…. But I still care, I want us to become friends, like before" I said to her as she snorted.

"When were we ever friends" she asked me as I looked down. "Okay, so I wanna try something new where's the harm in that" I stated as she turned her gaze. "Please Soph…. we need to move o.." I said to her as she rolled her eyes.

"You still singing that song birdie" she said to cutting me off.

…  
_"All your life you were only waiting for the moment to arise….Blackbird fly…Blackbird fly….in to the light of the dark black ni" I was singing as I got interrupted by a kiss on my forehead. _

"_Still singing that song birdie" she said to me as I chuckled. _

"_Well it's either that or 'send me on my way', so I'm picking the Beatles" I chuckled. _

"_Yeah good choice…. God 'send me on my way'…. Matty made us watch ice age too many times while you were pregnant…. Thank god you listened to other kind of music too or the little midget here wouldn't go to sleep with anything else" she stated as she kissed my lips tenderly. _

"_Yeah" I whispered as I rocked the chair once more before I got up and put Lily in her cradle. _

"_I can't believe you finally got her to sleep…. How did you manage" she asked as I turned around and snaked my arms around her neck. _

"_Well I have my ways….. I have no idea to be honest" I chuckled as she wrapped her arms around my waist. "You're such a great mum" she said as she nuzzled her head in my neck. _

"_So are you babe, oh god we can finally get some sleep" I stated as she kissed my neck. _

"_I know summit else we could do like…. baptize the bathroom" Sophie sniggered as she kept kissing my neck making me moan quietly. "God yes…. That's a thing we haven't done for 2 months either" I said to her as she took my hand and kissed my lips. _

…

"Yeah I am" I stated as Sophie pushed of the blanket of her shoulders.

"Okay" she said.

"Okay?" I frowned.

"Okay" she echoed. "I'll try to be friends" she stated.


	13. Chapter 13

**Chapter 13**

**Sian pov**

"Yeah hi…..oh hey Laura….yeah sure….yeah it is" I smiled as I looked at Sophie who had fallen asleep. "Yeah I would love to go with you" I said looking at Sophie as I didn't really hear what she said. She was about to hang up as I snapped back to reality. "Wait uhm… can you send me the details for our….date? Right our date" I said as she hung up. "Shit" I cursed myself for not listening to her properly.

"Is everything all right" Sophie said as I jumped off my chair. "Yeah everything is fine" I said as my phone beeped with a text from Laura with all of the details for my…date.

"Uhm Sophie can you watch the kids tonight" I asked her as she shuffled awkwardly. "Uhm yeah sure…. Why?" she asked as I frowned. "What friends can ask why right?" she said as I could feel the venom in her voice.

"Sophie" I sighed as she got up. "Okay fine….it's none of my business" she stated.

"Uhm yeah" I said nervously as she snorted at me. "What?" I asked her as she looked at me.

"Have fun with Laura, or whatever her name is" she uttered as if felt the anger build up in me.

"Yeah I will…. She's taking me to a restaurant in town and…." I started saying as she cut me off.

"I don't need to hear about your booty call" she snapped.

"Sophie! O for fuck sakes…. Uuuughhh" I yelled as she took her coat. "Where are you going" I asked her.

"The the police station to make a statement….get out of my way Sian" she said as I realized I was blocking the doorway. I stepped aside and let her storm out.

"AAAggggghhhhhhh" I screamed in a pillow as the door slammed shut.

…

"Hey Matty" I shouted as he exited the school. "Hey baby, did you have a nice time today…. Learned anything good" I asked him as she shrugged.

"Come on your sister is waiting in the car" I smiled as I took his hand in mine and led him to the car.

"Seatbelt" I said as I started the engine. I looked behind me as Matty put his seatbelt on. "Okay, you guys want to go to the shops today" I asked them as Matty grinned and nodded eagerly.

"Can we have ice-cream" he asked me as I started laughing.

"Sure Math" I said to him as he started clapping his hands together. I arrived at the mall 10 minutes later and let them out of the car. As we were passing the shops Matty saw something and started running like a madman.

"Matty!" I screamed as ran after him, which was not easy to do in the heels I was wearing.

"Matthew Webster" I hissed as I found him on the playground. "I swear if you do that again, there will be no ice-cream for you" I said angrily.

"What? But you said I could" he yammered as I took him off the playground.

"Well that was before you ran away…. How many times have I told you not to do that…it's scares the sh….turtles out of me" I stated as he started chuckling at what I just said.

"Turtles?" he said as I sighed.

"Do you want ice-cream?" I asked him as he nodded. "Then you'll behave…now if you want to go on the playground, you have to ask and not just run of okay?" I asked him as he looked at the ground sulking as he nodded. "Now come on _turtles_" I smirked as he took my hand.

"Uhm excuse me" I heard a voice behind me say as I turned around and saw a very familiar face standing in front of me. "Haven't we met before" she stated as I started grinning.

"Omg" I squealed as I embraced her into a hug.

"Hey stranger" she sniggered as she held me tight.

"Kathy what are you doing here…. You look great btw" I said to her as she smiled.

"Well I live here now… and thanks you look hot btw" she stated as embraced her into a hug squealing. "I can't believe I'm seeing you here…. I haven't seen you since my last appointment with Dr.W….I tried to find you, but they wouldn't give me any information" I stated as she held my hand and squeezed it.

"Same" she said quietly as she looked at Lily and Math and raised an eyebrow. "Are those yours" she sniggered as Math stood shyly behind me and Lily sat happily in her stroller.

"Yeah, this Matthew" I stated as she frowned. "Wait Matthew as in Sophie's Matthew" she asked as I nodded.

"Yeah" I smiled as she tugged at my hand.

"Let's talk about things over some coffee yeah" she said as I nodded. "Well we were just about to get some ice-cream, why don't you join us" I asked as she smiled widely.

"I'd love that" she replied as we headed toward the ice-cream shop.

….

"So tell me everything…. We haven't spoken in 7 years… I want to know the juice" she smirked.

"Well like I said this is Matthew, I adopted him a couple years back…. And that's Lily my little girl, I had her 2 years ago" I stated as she nodded.

"So you and Soph are still going then…. Who would've thought you'd meet the love of your life in St. Claire's" she smirked as I looked down into my coffee.

"Uhm…. me and Sophie are separated actually….. We were, well we still are married but we separated about 6 months ago" I stated as her expression changed.

"I'm sorry…. Wait did you just say you were married" she asked wide-eyed as I nodded.

"Yeah…. We were happy for a while" I stated.

"What happened to change that" she asked me as I sighed.

"You go right into it don't you" I chuckled nervously.

"Babe…. What happened…..you look like shit" she said as I choked on my coffee.

"Language" I said gesturing to Lily and Matty as she started laughing. "What? You'd be amazed how quickly they pick it up" I stated as her laughter died.

"Sian, I'm not laughing at what you said, I'm amazed how you're avoiding the subject" she stated as I chuckled.

"Okay…right me and Sophie" I sighed as I was stirring in my coffee. "We just grew apart….. she stopped paying attention to the little things and eventually stopped being there completely….and I let her, I stopped fighting, making her see things…. I stopped being there too" I stated sadly.

"I can't even imagine you two apart, you were so good together" she stated. "Yeah trust me, it's hard for me too….but I'm getting there, in fact I have a date tonight" I stated as she smiled shyly. "You think it's not a good idea?" I asked her.

"I don't know….. I just can't imagine you with anybody else but Sophie….. I mean can you imagine your life without her" she stated as I sighed.

"No… I can't, but I have to….it's too late for me and Sophie….. She pushed me away, she broke my heart Kathy" I stated as Kathy nodded.

"Yeah…..look I'm not going to tell you what to do…. I mean I don't know what's been going on for the last 7 years so" she smiled as I breathed in shakily.

"Math leave that" I said to him as he was picking something up from the ground.

"Sian…. How did it go so far that you ended up being separated, that she even broke your heart" she stated as I cringed at the memory.

…

"_Sophie leave it, you can do it tomorrow" I stated as I snaked my arms around her shoulders and started kissing her neck. "Sian" she sighed. _

"_Please babe…. We haven't been together in 3 months" I stated as she shrugged me off. "I don't have time for this, I need to work" she stated as I closed her laptop and sat on her lap, brushing my lips against hers as she pushed me away violently._

"_For god sakes Sian will you stop….Just go to bed, if you're that desperate to get a release, there's a vibrater in the bedroom shelf." She hissed as I felt my heart breaking the minute she said it. _

"_You think that's all I'm after…. I just want to be close to you…. I want you Soph" I said almost whimpering. _

"_Oh will you stop being like this…. You're clinging on to me like a life jacket, for god sakes don't you have anything else to do" she said as I felt a tear escape my eye. _

"_Why are you being like this…. What have done wrong….you've been distant every since Lily started day care 7 months ago" I stated as she shrugged and turned back to her laptop. _

"_I want an answer Sophie… what is it? Am I not attractive enough for you anymore, am I too boring. Is that it are you bored?" I asked raising my voice._

"_Sian" she groaned. _

"_No tell me! Are you?" I shouted at her as she burst out._

"_YES… now that you've gotten your answer will you leave me alone" She shouted as felt like I somebody punched me in the stomach. I didn't expect her to answer that, I thought she would've defended herself…. She just doesn't care enough anymore. I walked back to bed and rolled up in a bundle crying myself to sleep. _

…

"I uhm…. I should go…. I have to drop them off at Sophie's" I said as my voice broke a little.

"Oh right" she muttered.

"Here's my number….let's meet up for coffee tomorrow yeah" I asked her as she smiled. "Okay I'll see you tomorrow then"

"Oh wait Sian, before I forget…" she started saying as she rumbled in her bag. "Here….I'm getting married on Saturday and I would love it if you and Sophie could come…I mean you don't have to come together, but I..I" she started stuttering as I accepted the invite.

"I'll let Sophie know… and congratulations, I'm happy for you" I stated as I put on my coat and walked back to the car with Matty in arms and Lily babbling happily. As I got into the car, tears started streaming down my cheek.

"Sian? What's wrong" he asked as I put my head on the steer wheel.

"Nothing… allergies" I said as I wiped the tears away.

…

**Sophie pov**

I went home after me and Sian got into a rowel. God I know we decided to be friends last week, be Jesus she just got under my skin lately, especially when she's with Laure… god that girl makes my skin crawl. I got home and dropped down on the couch. I hit the answering machine and Dr. Moonings voice came through.

"Mrs. Webster, I just wanted to remind you of our appointment tomorrow, to see how everything is going. I hope I'll see you tomorrow, bye" he said as I sighed deeply. The guy is like a stalker, I mean I know he's just doing his job but I am capable of remembering my own appointments.

….

Someone knocked at the door when I got out of the shower. I opened the door with just a towel around my body and saw Sian standing at the other side.

"Hi" she said nervously as she looked at me from top to toe.

"Hi" I smiled seeing the effect I still had on her.

"Mum, look what I got" Matty squealed as he stormed into the house. "Yeah I see babe, its great" I stated looking at the airplane he was holding into the air. "Hi Lily" I said tenderly as I took her in my arms.

"Momma" she squeaked happily.

"Okay… uhm they haven't had their dinner yet and well I uhm" she started stuttering as her eyes fell upon my cleavage.

"Have fun on your date" I said as her eyes snapped up meeting mine.

"Yeah…. Thanks…. Oh right, you'll never guess who I ran into at the mall" she ranted as I chuckled.

"Who?" I smiled as she got a card out of her handbag.

"Kathy…. And she's getting married…here's your invite" she sniggered as I started laughing.

"Omg are you serious, I haven't seen Kathy in…." I said.

"7 years" she replied finishing my sentence.

"Yeah" I breathed as she smiled at me, her gaze not leaving mine.

"Uhm I… uhm have got to go….i'll see you Saturday then" she smiled as I nodded.


	14. Chapter 14

**Chapter 14**

**Sian pov**

"This is me" I said as Laura let go of my hand.

"Okay" she said sounding a bit disappointed.

"I had a great time, thank you for tonight…. I needed it" I smiled at her as she suddenly got very nervous.

"Me too" she stuttered as she shuffled closer to me and put her hand shakily on my cheek. She was leaning in very slowly. I leaned in pushing my lips on hers as her hand snaked behind me neck, her tong was sliding on my bottom but I didn't grant her access. This wasn't the night for that. I pulled out of the kiss smiling. I liked kissing her, I liked Laura a lot actually. "I'll call you" I said as she gave me a shy smile and I turned around, getting inside of my building.

I went to sleep after I washed my face and put on my pj's. The moment my head hit the head I fell asleep, I was exhausted from my day. I knew I should've not been able to sleep after the night I just had with Laura, but I drifted off as the covers were wrapped around me.

I woke up with a small hangover as I got up. I looked in the mirror and checked the time noticing I was late for work. I sighed loudly and got dressed quickly. As the I was about to leave the phone went.

"Hello?" I said breathlessly.

"Hey Sian it's me… Katy" Katy said shakily.

"Hey" I said happily.

"I just needed to know 2 things…. Are we still on for our coffee later and are you bringing a date to the wedding" she asked as I could hear her smirk on the other end of the phone.

"Uhm well we're definitally on for later and I don't know" I said quietly.

"We'll talk about it later okay" she said sensing there was more to what I just said.

"Thanks…. See you later…bye" I said as I hung up the phone and rushed outside.

…

"Hey Kathes and Sophie?" I said as I got into the café

"Hey" she smiled as I sat down.

"What you doing here, don't you have to work it's still very early" I said as Sophie started chuckling.

"Uhm I got some time off after… you know" she said embarrassed as I felt myself getting angry at the thought of that boss of hers.

"Did it work out yesterday" I asked as she nodded and smiled.

"So Kathy was telling me about her gorgeous fiancé" Sophie sniggered as Kathy's cheeks turned to a shade of pink.

"Wow Kathy he must be special if he's making you blush" I grinned as she slapped my hand playfully.

"Yeah well… uhm he's great" she said shyly as I smiled at her.

"Good" Sophie replied as I looked at her. "Uhm I'm gonna go to the bathroom" Sophie said shakily as she made her way over to the bathroom.

"So tell me…. what's going on…. are you brining a date to the wedding… maybe the girl from last night?" she asked casually as I sighed deeply.

"I don't know…. Should I?" I asked nervously as she gave me her trademark grin.

"Do you want to…. or would it only be to make Sophie jealous" Kathy asked me as I choked on my coffee.

"Why would I want to make Soph Jealous?" I asked her as she raised an eyebrow.

"Same reason you just called her Soph and also the same reason your eyes followed her all the way to the bathroom 5 minutes ago" She sniggered

"What? Kathy…" I started saying as she sighed.

"Sian don't try to deny it…. I saw the way you looked at her" she said as I put my coffee down looking outside the window. "Sian…" she started saying as I cut her off.

"You're wrong…. Whatever your thinking…. What are you thinking anyways, you talked about socalled reasons" I stated angrily as she rolled her eyes.

"Well the reason is cause you're obviously still in love with her" she stated as I choked on my coffee, burning my tong in the process.

"What!" I hissed as she cocked her head.

"You're gonna tell me you don't love her anymore" she asked as I diverted my gaze from her knowing she could read me as a book.

"No…. so what? Even if I do love her, doesn't change anything" I stated as Kathy sighed.

"Doesn't it" she murmured as I got annoyed.

"Kathy, you know what I will bring a date" I said under my breath as Sophie came to sit back at our table.

…

The day of the wedding came quicker than I noticed as I woke up Saturday morning, trying to sleep for 2 more minutes, but the sunbeams were waking me up. I got up and got dressed, the reception started at 12pm so I had plenty of time to get ready. After I showered I got dressed. I picked out a black coctaildress that hung above my knees and accessorized with a necklace and a bracelet. I looked at the clock that said 11h30. I quickly put on my heels and grabbed my purse as I headed out, I had to go pick up Laura and was going to be late.

…

**Sophie pov**

I arrived at the wedding after dropping off the kids at Derek's who was actually surprised and I think a bit jealous that his Kathy was getting married and he didn't get an invite.

"Hey Sophie" Kathy cheered as she came over and hugged me. she looked gorgeous in her white wedding dress. Her dress seemed similar to Sian's when we got married.

…

"_Smile" Rosie said as she took a picture as me and Sian just kissed. "Rosie" I said annoyed. "Will you leave me and my wife alone" I said sniggering at the word wife. _

"_You like that word ay babe" Sian whispered in my ear. I had said every chance I had much to Sian's delight. _

"_Yeah… I'm so happy" I said to her as I kissed her again. "I love you so much" I mumbled against her lips as she snaked her arms around my neck and pulled me closer deepening the kiss. _

"_Sophie will you and your wife join us on earth please" Rosie moaned as we pulled out of the kiss. _

"_Not possible sis' I've been in heaven since I said she said I do" I sniggered as Sian rolled her eyes. "Too cheesy" I giggled as Sian nodded playfully. "Well I don't care, nothing can spoil this day" I said as I pecked her lips. _

…

I got snapped out of my memory as my heart ached remembering that day, believing nothing could spoil it till Vinnie did.

..

"_Will Sophie and Sian join us at the dancefloor" the DJ said as I grabbed her and I pulled her to the dancefloor. _

"_Do you have any idea how hot you look" I whispered as she put her arms around my neck and we started swaying to the music. _

"_Do you have any idea how much you're turning me on by brushing my spine like that" Sian sniggered as we both burst out in giggles. _

"_I love you so much Powers" I said as I looked into those gorgeous deep blue eyes. _

"_I love you more" She grinned as I shook my head and leaned in. _

"_Not possible" I smirked as I kissed her lips and the room started clapping and whisteling as the door slammed open startling us both. I looked at the door and saw Vinnie standing, clenching his fists as he was going to blow up._

"_Dad" Sian muttered as she started smiling. "You came" she said a bit louder so he would hear as he stormed towards us. I clutched on to Sian out of reflex, I got the feeling he wasn't here to give his blessing. _

"_Am I too late" he snapped as Sian started frowing. _

"_Well no…. you're here…" she said happily as he sighed deeply. "I mean have you married her" he said with disgust in his voice. _

"_Yeah she has" I stated proudly as he kicked off. _

"_You're coming with me….i'm not having this Sian, get in the car…. We'll anull this mistake" he stated as tried to pull Sian behind me. _

"_Dad" Sian shouted. "This isn't a mistake…. I love her and If you can't accept that then just go….i'm not having you ruin my weddingday" she snapped at him as he sighed and turned around. _

"_I'm not done….you'll be hearing from me Webster" He shouted as he made his exit and Sian looked at me seeming to be on the verge of tears. I pulled her away from the dancefloor and led her to the hallway. _

"_Are you okay" I asked quietly as she shook her head and hugged me. I small sob escaped her lips as I held her tight. "It's okay….just forget about him…he doesn't deserve to be your life" I stated as she brushed the small tears that rolled down her cheek. _

"_I love you" she whimpered. _

…_. _

"Sophie" Kathy nudged me a bit as I got back to reality.

"Yeah" I said droopy as Kathy chuckled. "I asked you if you wanted to sit at my table with Sian" she asked me as I smiled and nodded. I noticed Sian was standing by the bar. God she looked gorgeous in her black dress. Those heels made her legs look extra long, and she had the right amount of cleavage going for her.

"Enjoying your perving session Soph" Kathy sniggered as I gulped and snapped my eyes away from her.

"I don't know what you're talking about" I muttered as Kathy started laughing. I looked at her and joined her, my laughter died as I saw a girl wrapping her hand around Sian's waist. It was the same girl from the bar. I could feel my stomach drop as I saw the girl whispering in Sian's ear and Sian seemed to be enjoying it. My gaze drifted away from them as I felt a lump in the back of my throat.

"Excuse me" I muttered as I headed for the bathroom.

…

"Oh there you are Sophie, take a seat" Kathy smiled as I took my seat next to her. "So it's a buffet, so you guys can get what you want from it" she smiled as I chuckled.

"Yeah I noticed" I said as I saw Laura heading for the buffet.

"Hey" I said quietly to Sian.

"Hi" she replied nonchalantly as I looked away and sighed. Kathy looked at me and gave me a sympathetical smile.

"Here you go babe" Laura said putting a plate in front of Sian as I cringed at the word babe. I felt myself get really jealous and frowned.

"Thanks" she smiled as Laura sat down and kissed her cheek. I chuckled angrily at the situation. I looked at Sian's plate and saw walnuts s laying on the plate and rolled my eyes. "Sian there are walnuts on your plate" I stated as Sian looked at her plate and pushed them aside.

"You don't like them" Laura asked as Sian looked at me uncomfortably. I scoffed at Laura's question.

"Do you have anything to say" she asked me as I smirked. "Yeah…Sian's allergic to walnuts…." I stated as Sian looked at me intensely.

"Oh I didn't know that" she said quietly as Sian smiled at me. "its fine" I heard Sian say.

"Yeah it's okay…. your girlfriend would only have choked to death" I mocked her as Sian was shooting me daggers. "You not getting a plate Sophie" Laura asked me as I raised my eyes.

"No I brought her one" Kathy said as I smiled at her and took the plate. "Thank you" I mouthed as she saved me from embarrassment.

After our meal the party started as Laura's phone rang. "Hello….oh hi….oh right" she said looking at Sian. "Yeah of course I'll be there as fast as I can" she said as she hung and looked at Sian intesly.

"Sian I'm so sorry, they need me at work….i'm really sorry I can't get out of it…. I would if I could but I can't, I'm so sorry" she started rambling as Sian silenced her with a kiss. I felt someone punched me in the stomach and my blood boiling.

"It's okay" Sian said quietly as they pulled out of the kiss and sneaked a glance at me. "I'm so sorry Kathy I would love to stay, but there's an emergency at work" she said as Kathy smiled and nodded.

"No worries" Kathy sniggered as Laura made her way out of the room with Sian on her side.

…

"She get away okay" Kathy said as Sian joined us back at the table.

"Yeah just upset she couldn't stay" Sian said as I scoffed quietly.


	15. Chapter 15

**Chapter 15**

**Sian pov**

Laura was rambling about her work as I just wanted her to stop. I kissed her to silence her. After we pulled out of the kiss I couldn't help but look at Sophie who seemed like she her head was being stitched up as I suddenly felt guilty. I knew I had a right to bring Laura, but it would kill me to see Sophie with someone else. I quickly waved Laura off and made my way back inside.

"I'm going to get a drink" Sophie muttered as she stood up and headed for the bar.

"Having a good night Sian" Kathy murmured as she was enjoying her wedding cake.

"Yeah it's great….I'm so happy for you" I smiled at her as she smirked at me.

"Honey stop…. Leave the poor girl be" Her husband said to her as I furrowed my brows. "Fine, but only if I get the cherry" she sniggered as Nick put the cherry on her plate and kissed her lips tenderly. I smiled at the picture, but was still confused about what they were on about.

I glanced at the bar where Sophie was standing and noticed she was being chatted up by some girl. I turned my gaze quickly and frowned. Sophie came back with the girl and sat down while they were laughing. I couldn't help but get annoyed at the girl's laughter; I mean who has a laugh like that.

"You okay Sian" Kathy whispered in my ear as I nodded and smiled. "Here you're gonna need it" Kathy said as she shuffled her glass of champagne to me. I took a big gulp out of the glass as Sophie started giggling at the girl's whispers. I excused myself to the bathroom as the girl started touching Sophie's thigh. I got to the bathroom and locked myself in one of the cubes. I sighed deeply trying to compose myself as I heard the door creek open.

"Stop" I heard Sophie giggle. "Amber I am not having sex with you in here…. I barely know you" she giggled as I heard sloppy kisses. "Uhh I want you" Amber moaned as I felt myself get short of breath; I couldn't listen to Sophie getting felt up I had to get out of here. I opened the door quietly hoping they wouldn't notice me.

"Sian" Sophie breathed as my heel hit the ground.

"Hey" I said shyly. "Don't mind me I was just…I … I'll be on m.." I started stuttering as Sophie let go of Amber.

"Sian it's not what you think…. I wasn't going to.."Sophie started saying as I cut her off.

"Sophie I don't care who you shag I just didn't want to hear it" I snapped at her.

"So Soph you gonna introduce me" the girl slurred as I rolled my eyes. "Yeah this is Sian…. Uhm she's uhm…" Sophie stumbled over her words as Amber finished her sentence.

"Let me guess an ex-girlfriend" she giggled as Sophie started to get uncomfortable and I was getting annoyed by her. She seemed like the stereotype floozy.

"No, her wife actually" I snarled at her as her eyes widened.

"Wow you're married and she's here…. and so am I, that's screwed up man" She slurred her way through her sentence as she looked at Sian.

"We're separated" Sophie stated as I sighed deeply.

"I'm gonna go, leave you two birds to it" I stated as I made my way out of the bathroom and headed back to the garden.

"You okay" Kathy asked me as I nodded quickly. "Fine" I huffed.

"Sian you can't be mad at her for doing the exact same as you" Kathy stated gently as I snapped my head up.

"What are you on about" I asked her as she chuckled. "Getting it on with someone else and then rubbing her nose in it" Kathy stated as I put my head in my hands. "Hey come on… don't babe…." Kathy said as she put her hand on mine as I started chuckling.

"I don't know what's wrong with me, I keep telling her to move on and when she does it feels like she's breaking my heart all over again" I stated defeated as Kathy smiled sympathetically.

"I know…." She murmured as I remembered the night I left her.

…

_I had cried myself to sleep for 3 days now…. And she hadn't even noticed. "Sian where are we going, is mum coming with us" he asked me as I shook my head. _

"_Uncle Derek will pick you up alright?" I croaked out. I knew he sensed something was wrong, but I didn't have the courage to tell him what was happening. The bell rang and I sighed in relief. _

"_Hey come in" I said to him. I hadn't told him why he had to take the kids, but I had a feeling he knew the minute he saw my face. My face was red and puffy from all the crying I had been doing and I had black circles under my eyes since I hadn't slept much. Just the thought of what I was going to do kept me up all night. _

"_Sian…. Has something happened with Sophie, have you two had a fight" he asked me as I shrugged. "We've been fighting all the time lately" I stated as he sighed and nodded. "Please tell me I'm taking them so you can talk it out with her" he said as I shook my head and felt the tears forming in my eyes. I sniffed and wiped my eyes before the tears could fall. "Mate….maybe you shouldn't…" he started saying as I cut him off. _

"_Please….don't" I sniffed as my voice broke. He took the kids and walked out of the door. I packed my bags and put them by the door. I waited two hours before she came through the door. _

"_Hey… oh god you'll never guess what day I had… fuck sakes if one more person…" she started rambling not even acknowledging me. She sat down at the table and kept talking as I sat on the couch frozen in time. _

"_Sian? Are you even listening to me" She asked me as she looked at the kitchen. "Are we having take out? Cause the kids will moan if we eat late you know" she stated as I didn't answer her. "What is up with you…. whatever it is tell me later, I have a tons of work to do…. shout when dinner's ready" she stated as she started heading for the door. _

"_There won't be a dinner" I said quietly trying to keep my calm as she turned around. _

"_What? What do you mean, Sian… I don't have time to go out tonight" she stated as I sighed and shook my head in disappointment. She used to read me like a book and now she doesn't even notice something is wrong. _

"_We're not going out" I replied. _

"_What? Sian I don't have time for you riddles just talk alright?" she said sounding annoyed, but I didn't reply. "Look I know I've been a bit busy the last couple of days but you don't need to give me the silent treatment, we're married not in middle school" she huffed as I snapped my head up and met her eyes as she finally noticed something was wrong._

"_Married? Are we? Cause I haven't noticed" I said as she sighed. "Please let's not fight" she said as she sat on the coffee table. I laughed angrily and roamed my hands through my hair. _

"_What?" she asked as I looked away. "Where are the kids? I meant to give something to Matty last night" she stated as I sighed. _

"_They're at Derek's" I stated as she furrowed her brows. _

"_What? Why" she asked me. _

"_Cause I didn't want them here for this" I stated as her brows furrowed even more. "What? What are you on about? Look whatever it is can it wait, I have to finish this article…." She started saying as I sighed and got up. _

"_You can have all the time you want cause I won't be here" I stated as her expression changed. _

"_What?" she said shakily as I sighed. I looked at her as she noticed my bags at the door. "Sian what's going on? What are you doing" she asked as I felt the tears coming on again. I breathed in shakily. _

"_I can't do this anymore Soph" I said defeated as she rushed at my side. _

"_What do you mean can't do what?" she said with panic in her eyes. I was glad to see she was scared to lose me at least I knew a part of her still cared. _

"_Us" I breathed as I wiped my eyes. _

"_What! What do you mean? What are you doing!" she shouted. "I'm sorry, I can't…. I can't be around you anymore…. It hurts too much" I said as my voice broke down completely as tears streamed down my cheek. She started panting and grabbed my arm. _

"_What! Sian what have I done? Why are you doing this…. Stop" she whimpered as she pushed away the bags from the door. _

"_You don't even realize do you…. do you have any idea what you say and do to me every single day…. You pushed me off your lap and bruised my arm for example Sophie" I shouted at her as she suddenly looked at my arm and put her hand on her mouth. _

"_But I…. I'm sorry…. I can't" she started stuttering. "Please hold on, we can talk…. Don't go" she cried as I started sobbing putting my head in my head. _

"_I can't do it anymore Sophie….I… I can't handle the stranger you've turned into. You're never there anymore, for any of us….you push me away and I don't know why…. I'm sorry I don't think my heart can handle the bruises anymore" I said as a sob escaped my lips. _

"_I'm sorry…I'll do better, I'll be there for you and the kids…. I'll kiss you, make love to you, walk with the kids, make dinner every single day…. Just please don't leave me" she said as she cupped my face resting her forehead on mine. _

"_How are you gonna do that Soph" I asked her. "Can you honestly tell me if I asked you now to go get the kids and make dinner for them you would do it" I asked her as she hesitated. I scoffed at her and pushed her hands away. _

"_YES I would….I'll go right now" she said nervously. _

"_You paused Sophie, meaning you had to think about it…. I mean I'm leaving and you hesitated" I shouted as she looked down in shame. _

"_I'm sorry, ask me again I won't pause I promise…. Please give me another chance" she begged me as I breathed in shakily. _

"_I'm too tired Soph…. I can't fight anymore….I loved you so much, but I can't anymore" I stated as I grabbed my bags and headed for the door. _

"_Wait" she screamed as she blocked my way. "Please I love you, don't leave me" she begged as I started sobbing. _

"_Soph" I whimpered as she cupped my face and kissed me. I couldn't help but reciprocate, I loved her so much. I kissed her back and pulled out of the embrace. _

"_Please Sophie don't make this harder than it already is" I sniffed as she started sobbing. _

"_Please I'll do anything… Sian" she whimpered as I pushed her aside gently. "I'm sorry" I cried as struggled to open the door with her hands on mine. I detached myself from Sophie opening the door and leaving the house for good. _

…

"Will Kathy and Nicolas amaze us with their first dance as a married couple" the DJ shouted as I got back to reality and saw Kathy going to the dance floor. For some reason I started searching for a certain brunette as I spotted her by the buffet talking to the same girl she was with before. I sighed and took another gulp at the drink Kathy gave her.

…

"Sian will you dance with me" Nick asked me as I chuckled. "Won't your wife mind" I sniggered as he shook his head.

"No it was her idea" he smirked as I got up and straightened my dress taking his hand. He led me to the dance floor as I spotted Sophie doing the same with Amber. I turned my gaze quickly.

"She was jealous too you know" he stated as I frowned.

"Who?" I asked acting oblivious to what he asked me as he smirked. "You know I can see why Kathy loves you, you have same sidekick thing going for ya" I said sounding annoyed.

"Am I wrong…. She was giving you the same look before as you're giving her now" he sniggered as I rolled my eyes and he started laughing. We had been dancing to 2 songs as I saw Sophie leave angrily to the garden. I wanted to know what was going on, but it wasn't my place to go after her. We had been dancing to another couple of songs as I noticed Kathy entered holding Sophie's hand and started dancing with her as the song 'Every time we say goodbye' by Ray Charles came on. I looked at Sophie who looked at me intensly. I suddenly felt Nick's arms leave my waist. I frowned as he went over to Kathy.

"Sorry but I just can't keep my hands of her, do you mind" he asked Sophie as she shook her head. "She's your wife" she chuckled as Kathy pushed Sophie in my direction. I rolled my eyes at Kathy's lame attempt to get me and Sophie dancing. "Might as well just grant her wish, it is her wedding" I thought as I walked over to Sophie.

"Dance?" I said to her as she frowned but took my hand anyways. She put her arms around my neck as I snaked my hands around her waist making my stomach flip. She looked me straight in the eyes as I felt myself getting dizzy breathing in her scent. We started swaying to the music as my breathing got heavier. "Why are you doing this" she whispered.

"Because I want to" I said my eyes not leaving hers. Her eyes darted from my eyes to my lips as she closed the gap and brushed her lips against mine. I kissed her back letting the kiss get more passionate. She glided her tong inside of my mouth as my stomach was doing more flip flops. I hadn't felt this for so long as our tongs battled. I pulled out of the kiss resting my head against hers.

"Sian…" she started saying.

"Don't…. you'll spoil it" I said to her as she frowned.

"Then I'll spoil it…. I love you" Sophie whispered as I sighed and looked down.

"I love you too" I thought but the words didn't come out of my mouth. "Soph" I said as she shook her head in hurt.

'But how strange the change from major to minor, every time we say goodbye….. Every time…we say goodbye' The song ended as Sophie let go of my waist and headed for the garden.


	16. Chapter 16

**Chapter 16**

**Sophie pov**

"Hey" I heard a voice say behind me as i turned around and saw Kathy standing next to me.

"Hi" I said shyly.

"It's working you know" She stated as I furrowed my brows. What the hell was she talking about? "What is" I huffed as she started chuckling. God here we go again, why is she all seeing? It's really annoying. "Will you just say the words instead of dancing round the subject" I said sounding annoyed as she sat down next to me.

"Sian…whatever you're doing to make her jealous, it's working" Kathy stated as I snorted. "Sian is with Laura why would she be jealous" I snapped getting angry.

"God you two are impossible" Kathy said throwing her hands in the air. Kathy took my hand and tugged me to stand up. "Kathy what are you doing?" I asked her as she smirked at me.

"You and I are going to dance" she cheered as I started laughing as I did not realize she was being serious. "Kathy" I sighed as she interrupted me.

"It's my wedding and I want to dance with you so we're going to dance" she stated as she dragged me onto the dance floor. Sian and Nick caught my eye as I saw them dancing to the music. I knew what Kathy was doing, and it wasn't going to work. "Shit" I thought as I saw Nick making his way over to us and taking his wife in his arms. "Well this is embarrassing" I thought as I saw Sian approaching.

"Dance" she asked me as I hesitated. I didn't know what was going on, but I took her hand anyways as she put it around my waist. I felt my breath hitch as she let me put my arms around her neck. I had missed this contact so much. But I wanted more, I wanted to feel her body pressed against mine, her warmth comforting my aching heart.

"Why are you doing this" I asked her as she looked me straight in the eyes. "Because I want to" My mind screamed at her honesty. I found myself staring at her lips as I felt the urge to kiss them. I couldn't hold myself back any longer as I leaned in and kissed her lips gently. I was expecting her to pull away and rush off or slap me, but I didn't anticipate this. She kissed me back as her arms tightened around my waist and started stroking my spine. I let my tong sweep her lips scared I might push her too far, but she let me in as I reacquainted myself with her mouth, her sweet taste. I wanted to drag her off the dance floor and make love to her right then and there. But the kiss ended as she pulled out resting her head against mine.

"Sian" I breathed as I could feel her tense up.

"Don't…you'll spoil it" she stated as I frowned. I needed an answer.

"Then I'll spoil it..." I didn't really know what to say, what to ask so I said the only thing that came to mind whenever I saw her. "I love you" I whispered as she looked down.

"Soph..." she breathed as I sighed and shook my head. I knew she didn't mean it. As soon as the song ended, I let go of her neck and made my way outside as fast as I could. I felt like she was playing with me. I hid behind a tree fearing but also secretly hoping she would come after me. I let myself glide to the ground and let out a deep sigh. The humming music inside just reminded me of random things out of the past.

…

"_ICE AGE!" Matty screamed as I looked at Sian who was trying to hold in her laughter. _

"_Right…. didn't see that coming" I replied sarcastically. _

"_Put in on put it on put in ONNNNNNN" he was screaming his longs out as Sian stood up. She was almost at the end of her last trimester and had a huge belly going for her. "Matty don't scream, you know you're little sister don't like it" she stated rubbing her belly as I chuckled. _

"_And mummy" I added as he started pouting. "But can you just put it on pleaseeee pwease pweasssssseeeee" he started yammering even though I never said no. I started chuckling and rolled my eyes. "Alright" I sang as he started to jump up and down. It was the 15__th__ time that we were watching Ice Age this week and I remembered the lines of the movie by heart. _

"_Yaaaaay" He started screaming again as I saw Sian close her eyes. She had been so tired lately from the pregnancy, I got worried everytime she had that look on her face. _

"_Matthew Webster if you don't stop screaming you're mother will get into a mood and you won't be allowed to see Ice Age" I said smugly as Sian shot me a look. "Don't make me the bad guy" she muttered._

"_Sorry" he pouted as he sat on the ground and waited patiently, pulling at his sweater. A kid is so funny when he has to wait, he starts doing all sorts of random stuff. _

"_Matty keep your sweater out of your mouth" Sian mumbled as she bend down to sit back into the couch. I quickly put in the DVD and helped Sian get comfy on the couch. "You okay" I whispered in her ear as she nodded groggily. She tugged at my arm gesturing me to wrap it around her. I quickly put my arm around her as she leaned in me and put her head on my shoulder. _

"_You sure you want to watch this movie? I can watch it with him on my own you know…. so you can go get some sleep" I said to her as she scrunched up her face. I knew that face, it was her 'I'm –annoyed-at-you' face I had learn to cope with over the last 9 months. _

"_Soph…I'm not cripple or sick I'm just pregnant so stop hovering….I'm fine" she huffed as I kissed her forehead. I knew going in on it was useless she would only get herself into a state and that wasn't good for the baby. Besides I knew she didn't mean to be snappy at me. _

"_I just worry baby…" I said as I heard her sigh, her breath tickling my neck. "I know" She mumbled as I hit play. We had been watching the movie for about a half an hour as the dreaded song came on…. again. I was stroking Sian's hair as she started groaning. _

"_On my way" Sian sighed as I started laughing at her. She was suppressing her grin but started making funny faces every time the sentence on my way came on. _

'_**Well I would like to hold my little, hand How we will run We will. How we will crawl we will.  
I would like to hold my little, hand.  
How we will run we will. How we will crawl.'**_

"_Send me on my…. on my way" I started singing with the movie as Sian kissed my neck. I looked at Matty who was rocking with the song and sighed in contentment. _

_As the movie ended I quickly put Matty to bed. I heard Sian sigh as she started sobbing. I quickly rushed to her, scared something was wrong with the baby. _

"_Honey what's wrong" I said as she sniffed and sobbed looking at the mirror in front of her. _

"_Look at me! I look like a fucking whale, like an obese American…. I look awful… how can you even stand the sight of me" she started sobbing as I smiled at her and removed the strands of hair that were sticking to her face. Her hormones could get her in any kind of state, they always multiplied her feelings by 100 as every feeling came out exaggerated._

"_You are the most beautiful woman in the world… you hear me" I said to her as she scoffed at me. "Hey…. I mean it" I said as she started sobbing and I wrapped my arms around her trying to sooth her. _

"_I want this pregnancy over…. I feel like I'm going to drop any time….I'm tired all the time, you keep fussing over me like I lost a leg or something…. I'm exhausted Soph" she cried as I hugged her tight. _

"_It's only 2 more weeks then we have our beautiful little girl ay" I said to her as she nodded. I wiped her tears cupping her face and kissing her lips tenderly. "Let's go to bed hmm" I said as I helped her up but she stopped me from moving. _

"_Soph…. I want some alone time with you…. I feel like I haven't seen you in ages" she stated as I frowned. "What do you mean? I've only been in to work once this week" I stated as she sighed. _

"_Yeah I know, but I've been sleeping so much…. I don't want to sleep" she stated as I chuckled slightly. _

"_Honey you can barely stand on your feet, you're drifting off as we speak" I stated as she sighed. "I know that…but I just…. Please I feel like I've been sleeping for 3 months… don't make me go to bed" she pouted as I kissed her gently. _

"_Where is the Sian powers that couldn't wait for me to take her to our bedroom" I smirked as she smiled shyly. _

"_She got pregnant and lost any kind of social or sex life" she sulked as I wrapped my arms around her. "Okay 20 more minutes but then you're going to sleep missy" I sniggered as she kissed me on the cheek. "So what do you wanna do in these crucial 20 minutes" I asked her as she kissed my lips. She let go of my neck and wobbled to the radio putting on some soft music. _

'_Some…day, when I awfully lone…. When the world is cold, I will feel a glow just thinking of you…" the song burst through the player as she made her way back over to me and wrapped her arms around my neck . I was confused with what she was doing. _

"_Sophie put your hands round my waist and move your feet" she smirked as I realized what she was on about. I started dancing to the music, not really paying attention to the rhythm. She buried her face in my neck as I rested my chin on her head and swayed to the music with her hand in mine against my chest. I loved dancing with Sian, just being with her, feeling her heartbeat beating against my chest… increasing when I kissed her forehead, smelling her hair. I loved her so much in this right moment. _

…

"Sophie" I heard a voice behind me and looked seeing Sian bend down to my level. "You're gonna get your dress dirty if you keep sitting on the ground" she smiled as I rolled my eyes at her.

"What do you want" I huffed as she gulped slightly.

"To apologize" she stated as I sighed. "I know the drill Sian, you're sorry for leading me on…. giving me false signals…. This doesn't mean or change anything crap….etc etc etc." I said angrily as I heard her sniff. I looked at her and saw she was on the verge of tears. I couldn't handle it when she was crying, it ripped my heart out.

…

**Sian pov**

We had been sitting here in silence for about 10 minutes as got fed up and spoke up.

"It _did_ mean something" I stated gulping in anticipation of what was going to come.

"What"? she said sounding annoyed.

"The kiss… of course it meant something… I wouldn't have kissed you like that if I didn't" I stated as I saw Sophie's eyes lit up. I felt like I was leaving her all over again, I didn't want to give her false hope. I loved her but I couldn't be with her.

"I…" she started smiling as she took my hand in hers and wanted to lean in. "Soph…. wait… I need to get this out before you do anything" I said as she smiled nervously and nodded.

"I love you…. God Soph I love you so much, even though I've tried so hard to stop, I just can't" I said as I felt a lump forming in the back of my throat.

"I lov…" she started saying as I raised my hand gesturing her to shut up.

"You broke my heart…. And I lost trust in you, in me…. everything that was connected to us…except the kids of course" I stated as she looked down.

"I'll do anything to win your trust back Sian…Please if you just…" Sophie started rambling as I sighed and looked down.

"Soph..." I breathed as she raised her voice.

"NO! You've had your say, now let me have mine" she almost shouted as I swallowed deeply.

"I love you! More than anything okay? I'll do anything…. Just give me the chance to make you trust me again….I'll quit my job if that's what you want….I'll do the grocery shopping and cook and…" she was rambling as I felt myself get worked up.

"I don't trust you!" I shouted at her as everything got really quiet all of the sudden. "And I don't think I'll be able to trust you ever again" I stated sadly as I swear I could see the hurt in her eyes. Her eyes started watering as something snapped inside of her.

"Why are you doing this to me? You say I'm a rollercoaster, but look at yourself…. You keep opening the door and then pushing me back out and then opening it and closing it again" she shouted as her voice broke waving her hand back and forth.

"I'm sorry" I said quietly as she scoffed.

"I can't keep waiting patiently behind the door in the hope you'll open it…. I need you to open it and let me in for good or just change the locks" she whimpered as I wanted to embrace her into a hug.

"Soph" I whispered as she flinched away from my touch. "I'm sorry I'm trying to get my life back on track" I said as her eyes shot me daggers.

"What? You mean with Laura" She said with a childish voice. "Yeah maybe" I said honestly as she got up and brushed the leaves off her dress.

"Fine…." She said quietly as I got up and tried to stop her. "Sophie please don't be.." I started saying as she turned around angrily.

"What? Upset? Well tough Sian cause I am" she shouted as a couple tears streamed down her cheeks. She quickly wiped them away as I was searching for the right thing to say. "The only thing I could say right is, if I told I wanted to be with her…. And I can't do that" I thought.

"Sophie…. Please let's just be.." I whimpered as she interrupted me again.

"Don't you dare say the f word! Because I don't _want_ to be friends….you know what? I don't even want to be around you anymore! We'll work something out with the kids, but I don't want to see you again….EVER" she shouted as she stormed off leaving me in bits. It hurt so much that I couldn't breathe as I fell to the ground and started sobbing. I knew it was my fault and that I wanted this, but it hurt so much anyways.

….

**Sophie pov**

I left her a fast as my legs could carry me. I sat leaned against the wall at the back side of the builing.

'_**With each word your tenderness grows,Tearing my fear apart...And that laugh that wrinkles your nose, It touches my foolish heart.  
Lovely ... never, ever change. Keep that breathless charm. Won't you please arrange it? 'cause I love you ... just the way you look tonight.'**_

The music kept bursting through as a tear touched my eyes with each word and streamed down my cheeks. A sob appeared after every sentence as I finally broke down completely


	17. Chapter 17

**Chapter 17**

**Sian pov**

It had been 2 months since Kathy's wedding and I hadn't seen Sophie once. She called me 2days after the wedding telling me how we were going to do this with the kids. I would pick them up Monday after school and keep them a week and she would pick them up the next Monday. Me and Laura had been dating for a while now, but I hadn't introduced her to Lily and Math. If I was honest I was scared to. Tomorrow was the first day of the their one week holiday in October.

"Siaaan! I'm late" he screamed as I was pacing around in Lily's room trying to find her sweater. "Yeah I know babe….help me find your sister's sweater." I said to him as he started making an even bigger mess in her room.

"Math stop….go in the living room will ya" I said to him as he stormed off. He was having behavior problems ever since the separation and he's attitude had worsened over the last 2 months. After I finally got Lily ready and dropped them both off at school I rushed over to the flower shop.

….

"Hello Darrin….what did you do this time" I asked him as he chuckled.

"I forgot to buy the lemons" he stated as I started laughing and handed him his usual flower bouquet. "Here you go" I said to him as he paid and headed towards the exit. My phone started ringing as I was busying myself with a special delivery. "Hello" I said as I picked up the phone.

"Yes this is her" I said into the phone as the headmaster of Matty school introduced herself to me. I gasped as I heard what she had to say.

"Yeah of course I'll be there immediately" I stated as I hung up the phone and closed up. As I got to the school I saw Sophie's car parked outside the school's parking lot. I rushed to the principal's office and saw Sophie waiting.

"Hi" I said shyly as she looked up.

"Hey" she said coldly. I couldn't exactly blame her for being cold after our last conversation. "Did they say anything to you…. about why we're here I mean" she asked nonchalantly as I shook my head and sat next to her. "No…uhm they just told me he got into a fight" I stated as she nodded her head. I was about to say something as the office door opened.

"Ah Mrs. and Mrs. Webster….I'm glad you are both here." She said as she gestured us to go in. As I got into the office I saw Matty sitting on the chair in the corner. The minute he saw my face I could see shame in them blue orbs.

"Why don't you both take a seat" she said to us as we sat down. "Now as you both know Matthew got into a fight….which isn't the first time is it Matthew" she said as he looked down.

"What?" I asked her. "What do you mean, how many times has this happened before" I asked her as she sighed. "A few times….we've tried to deal with it, but it just won't seem to have any effect on him" she stated as I frowned. "Matthew what do you have to say for yourself" Sophie asked angrily as I sighed. "Sophie I don't think yelling at him will help" I said to her as she scoffed at me. "Mind your own business" she said as my eyes widened. "Sophie, this isn't the time" I hissed at her as the principle asked Matty to wait outside.

"I asked you to come here, because Math hasn't given us a valid reason why he has been fighting….if this would've happened a year ago I would've thought someone was joking with me. He's acted very out of character these last few months" she stated as I sighed.

"You're asking us if we might know why" Sophie said calmly as she nodded. "We've been having problems…." She started saying as I finished her sentence.

"We've been separated for months now and we're applying for a divorce" I stated as she nodded her head again. I looked out of the corner of my eye and saw Sophie giving me a look the minute the word divorce left my mouth.

"Well maybe you could have a private conversation with your son, try to get out of him what's been going on" she asked as I nodded in agreement. We got up and headed towards Math who was waiting outside.

"Matty" I said tenderly as he looked up at me sensing something was about to come. "Matthew what's been going on with you, your principal told us you've been in several fights, would you care to illuminate us why" Sophie said as he sighed and looked away crossing his arms in the process.

"Math I know it's been difficult for you the last few months, but you have to understand that things don't always go the way we want them in life" I stated as he rolled his eyes. "Matthew please don't roll your eyes….what's wrong" I asked him putting my hand on his arm as he shrugged it off. "Nothing" he mumbled.

"Matty tell us what's going on" Sophie asked tenderly as the boy looked up to his mother. It was an interaction I hadn't seen in ages and it almost made me smile. He looked away for only a second as his expression changed.

"Why don't you just leave me alone" he yelled as I was taken aback and I could see from Sophie's expression that she was surprised by the lad's outburst too.

"Matthew" I said in a high pitch voice. "Don't tell me what to do you're not my mother, you're just some floozy my _real_ mother picked up when she was bored with my dad" he said as he flinched away from my touch. It was like he had punched me in the face. "Math" I said struggling with my words, he had never referred to me as a floozy.

"Matthew" Sophie yelled as she gripped him by the arm. "Get up" she said to him as he obeyed her. "Apologize to your mother now" she stated as I smiled gratefully at her. "NO! I hate you, I hate you both" he said as he snapped his arm away from Sophie and started running through the hallways.

"Math" I shouted after him but he had already turned the corner. "What the hell was that" I stated as Sophie was struggling. "I don't know" she said quietly. "I swear I don't know….where did he even hear that word" she asked me as I shrugged.

"I don't know Soph" I said to her as she sighed. "Come on we should go look for him" I stated as she followed me.

"Why don't you go cry to your lesbian mum….. or to your other mum… oh wait she's not your mum anymore, cause your real mum is such a drag" A boy said as I headed for the bathroom and saw two boys cornering Matty.

"Oi what's going on here" I asked as the lads made a run for it. I made my way towards Math as I heard Sophie follow me in the toilets.

"Matty are you okay" I asked him as he seemed even more angry then before.

"NO I'm not" he whimpered as I hugged him scared he might flinch again but he didn't. The boy held on to my neck as if it was a life line and started sobbing. "It's okay baby…. Just tell us. What's been happening?" I asked him as Sophie wrapped her arms around both of us sending shivers down my spine.

"They're just rubbish" he said as I looked at Sophie who seemed as worried as I was. "Who" Sophie asked quietly.

"Some boys out of the other class" he stated as I sighed. "What's going on? Are you being bullied" I asked him as he shook his head. "They just make me angry" he stated as I nodded.

"How" Sophie said trying to push it a bit further. "They said that you were a slapper, whom mum picked up at the gas station. That I was being …..raised by sinful people with their unn… unnatural… relations and….that… that Sian is now realizing her sins and leaving us for good" he started crying, stumbling over his words as a sob interrupted. My blood started boiling.

"Who said that" I asked him as I saw Sophie clenching her teeth. "Thomas Delani" he whispered as I got up and headed for the principal's office. I knocked gently on her door as she let me in.

"Yes Mrs. Webster?" she smiled. "I'd like to have a meeting with the parents of Thomas Delani" I said to her as she raised her eyebrows.

"Did you get any information out of your son" she asked me as I nodded. "I got plenty" I stated as she gestured for me to sit down.

"Could you tell me, if you don't mind" she said to me as I sighed.

"It seems that this boy has been provoking my son….with homophobic comments" I stated as she sighed. "I thought it was something like that….kids can be very cruel when you're different" she stated as I heard the door open behind me. Sophie walked in with Matty's hand in hers as she sat down putting Math on her lap. He was still sniffing as Sophie soothed him the best way she knew. "I'm sorry Matthew has to endure those comments, but it's still no reason to get violent" she stated as Sophie replied.

"What? So what should he do just let them walk all over him?" she snapped at her as I put my hand on Sophie's thigh as shook my head. "He shouldn't be fighting, but I agree this can't go on….I know this is difficult for you, but my son …." I started augmenting with her.

We stayed there for hours and met Thomas' Parents. 2 snarky old fashioned minded homophobic people that insulted us every chance they got. We finally got to an agreement and moved on. I felt exhausted as I got out of the office.

"Sophie…" I tried to talk to her but she cut me off.

"I have to go home Sian….bye Math I'll see you next week yeah" she said as she hugged him tightly. "Mum wait…..Sian can we have a family dinner tonight…all of us" he asked me as I turned my gaze to Sophie, waiting for answer as she shook her head. "I'm sorry babe, it'll be just the three of us" I said to him as he started sulking. I headed to the car as Matty sat in the back and put on his seatbelt as I saw Sophie heading to my car.

"Sian" she said as I opened my window. "Hey" I smiled. "You changed your mind…. Cause we got way too much spaghetti meatball…" I started saying as she cut me off.

"Sian don't pretend we're anything to each other and that you even want me there so" she huffed as I was about to protest but she continued. "Anyways I was just going to tell you have business trip next week for a couple of days…..do you mind taking the kids, I can always find someone else to watch them if you have too much work….I know I should've planned this better, but I can't really get out of it" she stated nervously as I smiled. "Yeah I can take them, I'll leave them with Derek on Thursday though, I have a conference to go to" I said trying to ease her a bit but it didn't work as she just nodded and headed back to her car waving at Matty in the process.

…

I had planned a day trip with the kids after I found out the conference had been canceled. "Matty are you nearly ready" I shouted up the stairs. We had gone to the house to collect some stuff. I felt myself smile at the couch I used to sit in every single evening or the stove I used to cook on…..the bed I used to sleep in…

"SIAN" Matty shouted as he pulled me out of my trance. "What" I asked nervously as he came down. "Nothing, just found what I was looking for…. can we go now" he asked me as I nodded.

"Let's go" I stated as I took his hand in mine and made my way towards the car.


	18. Chapter 18

**Chapter 18**

**Sophie pov**

"Sophie why did you lie" Rosie asked me as I rolled my eyes. "What was I supposed to do tell her everything in the school parking lot…. Look I need this week, if the kids saw me they would've known something was up…. I don't want them to see me like this" I stated as Rosie sighed.

"Babe you're gonna have to face it sometime…. You have to tell them….what if something happens and you" she started whimpering as I suddenly felt guilty. I had put this on her and she couldn't share with anybody.

"Hey I'm fine" I said to her as she embraced me in a bear hug. "Yeah but what if…" she started crying as I soothed her.

"Everything is fine okay sis…..you won't get rid of me that easily" I chuckled as a few tears streamed down her cheeks. "I might go see the kids today….it's Thursday and Sian is at the conference" I stated as Rosie furrowed her burrows.

"Are you sure you're up for that" She asked me as I nodded.

"Yeah I actually am" I smiled as she returned a faltered smile fiddling nervously. I left Rosie's place and made my way to Derek's. As he opened the door he seemed surprised to see me.

"Sophie" he smiled. "Hey…. Look I know I shouldn't do this but Sian isn't here anyways….I'm sure if I call her and let her know I'm taking the kids for the day she wouldn't mind" I stated as he seemed confused.

"Okay" he said slowly. "So is it alright if I take them from your oh so capable hands" I sniggered as he frowned.

"My hands" he asked as furrowed my brows. "Yeah…. are they in the yard, I can't hear them" I stated as his gaze got even more clouded.

"Here? Wait Sophie, Matty and Lily aren't here" he stated as I looked at him in disbelief.

"What? Where are they then?" I asked almost snapping at him as he struggled with his words.

"I don't know Soph I assumed at the daycare and stuff….I mean Sian has that conference today so I suppose the day care" he stated as my eyes widened.

"But….she said….I'm gonna check 'Neverland' daycare okay" I said to him nervously as he held on to my arm. "Wait I'm coming with ya" he said as he we both headed towards the daycare.

…

"Mrs. Webster….how can I help" Jo said happily but her expression changed once her eyes met mine. "I was actually wondering if my ….Sian had brought in the kids today" I asked as she shook her head.

"No she hasn't" she said as I felt myself get worried I quickly dialed Sian's number still knowing having it on speed dial but her phone was turned off. I was starting to get worried. "Maybe Sian has left them with a baby sitter or summit." I thought as I made my way back to my car. "Sophie wait" I heard Derek shout as he got into the car.

"Look calm down, Sian might have just taken them with her" he stated as I looked at him in disbelief.

"Without telling me" I stated as he shrugged. "She had the kids….I mean she took them to Southport last week…. Did you know _that_?" he asked me as I shook my head.

"But she specifically said to me that she would leave them with you" I said nervously as he sighed. I started the engine and headed for the apartment.

…

I ringed first, but when no answer came I remembered I still had keys to this place. I opened the door and rushed upstairs only to find an empty apartment. I was starting to get really anxious calling Sian again, but still no answer. She wouldn't just take them without letting me know…. She wouldn't do that.

I had already left her 9 messages…. 23 texts, some angrier than others. I was sat down on the couch in the hope that the baby sitter only took them for a walk and that I was overreacting. I didn't notice I had drifted off as I woke up by the lock of the door, that familiar noise sending shivers down my spine.

…

_I jumped as I heard her key in the lock. I quickly straightened my dress out shushing the others and waited for her to enter the apartment. "Soph I'm….why are the lights out" she said as we turned on the lights. _

"_SURPRISE" we shouted in union as she held on to the handle of the door steadying herself. "Hey" I chuckled as she smiled nervously. _

"_Hey" she whispered shakily. "What's all this" she asked still a bit flustered. _

"_Happy birthday babe" I said as she smiled from corner to corner. "Do you have any idea how hostile surprise parties are" she smirked as I started laughing. "God you scared the pants of me" she stated as I laughed even louder. _

"_I'm sorry, next time I'll ask them to whisper surprise" I stated as she slapped me playfully. _

"_Shut up and I can't believe you made me believe my own wife forgot my birthday" she huffed as I took on her coat. She had turned 21 today and I had been planning this for weeks. _

"_I'm sorry…. Of course I didn't forget…you're all I think about" I stated as she pecked my lips. I quickly snaked my hands around her waist and pulled her close hugging her. "I love you so much" I whispered in her ear. "I love you too…. But you know what will make me love you even more" she smirked._

"_What?" I asked trying to suppress the chuckle that was dying to get out. "Cake" she said to me as the chuckle finally broke through. "Well then you're in luck today" I stated as she took my hand in hers and made our way to the living room. We started to mingle with everybody as the time for presents and cake approached. _

"_Okay guys let's all go sit here…. I know it's small but just sit on each other's laps and stuff… you'll be fine" I said as they all laughed. Sian was sitting on my lap on the couch as the others joined and gifts were sat on the table. _

"_Okay who's the first to go" I asked as everybody started laughing. "Why don't you go Sophie" Derek said as I started laughing at his suggestion. _

"_Right and make you all feel uncomfortable" I stated as he frowned. "You see my dear Derek, if she likes it I'll kiss the life out of her and if she doesn't we might have a fight, both that will make you all very uncomfortable, and we wouldn't want that would we" I smirked as Sian rolled her eyes. _

"_You're such a smartarse" she whispered in my ear. "Alright then I'll go first" Clara said. "Happy birthday Sian" she said as she handed the gift. Sian unwrapped the paper carefully and revealed two spa tickets. She started grinning and so did I. We all knew how much Sian loved massages and ….oils and stuff. I started chuckling at my own thoughts as Sian thanked Clara for her gifts. _

_The evening went on with lots more gifts being shared as finally only one was left. I gulped as she looked at me lovingly. I knew even if she wouldn't like it, she would never let me know….even though I knew her too well to make out if she was lying or not. I kissed her shoulder blade as she took the package in her hands. _

"_You wrapped so elegantly Soph" she chuckled. I was always hopeless at those things, but always insisted on wrapping the gifts myself. "Shut up and open it" I smirked as she pecked my lips and started unwrapping the paper revealing a small box. She opened it and took out the bottle of 'perfume' I could see on her face that she wasn't too pleased, but started chuckling knowing that wasn't the real gift. The real gift was in our bedroom shelf. _

"_You like it" I said trying to sound excited as she turned to me still with the same loving gaze. "I love it….thank you so much babe" she said as she kissed my lips tenderly as I laughed against her lips. _

"_You should know me better than this babe" I said to her as she furrowed her brows. I took the bottle out of her hands and held it on her eyelevel showing her the small paper that was in it. Her eyes lit up immediately. I knew she loved games like these, and made sure I used this way of giving presents as often as I could. She opened the bottle and took out the small paper. _

_**Follow the yellow brick road…..**_

_She looked at me confused as I turned my gaze to the post it that was sticking on our bedroom door. _

_**OZ…**_

_The card on the door said as she got up excitedly and went in our bedroom. She came out even more excited. I had put flower petals to guide her way to where I wanted her in our bedroom so she could find her real gift. _

"_Oh my god Soph" she squealed as she came out of the bedroom and prompted herself on my lap kissing me feverishly. I snaked my arms around her waist and pulled her closer till neither of us could breath and pulled out. "I loved it… thank you so much" she said as the sparkle in her eyes confirmed her words. Someone cleared their voice as we turned our gazes to our guests. _

"_What is it then" Derek asked curiously. _

"_Well it seems my beautiful wife has given me a treasure map" Sian sniggered showing the piece of paper. "First stop….Denmark" she sniggered as she kissed my lips one more time. "I love you" she whispered against my mouth. _

…_._

I got snapped back to reality when I saw Sian entering the apartment. I got up quickly as she let out a loud yelp.

"AAaaaah" she screamed when she saw me clutching her chest. "Fuck sakes Sophie…. Do you want to give me heart attack" she stated panting heavily as I saw the kids storming in.

"broooooooo….miaaaaaaam" Matty was saying as he was running with a plastic air plane in his hands.

"Math" I whimpered. "Mum?" he asked confused as I hugged him tight. I got out of the hug and ran to lily taking her in my arms and pulling her into the hug. I was whimpering as Sian crossed her arms.

…

**Sian pov**

Sophie had been hugging the kids for over 5 minutes now and I was starting to get even more confused. "Sophie what are you doing here" I said trying not to sound hostile. She got up her eyes shooting me daggers. "What?" I asked her. She was fuming as she turned to the kids.

"Guys could you leave me and your mum to it for a second" she asked him as Math took Lily and went to his room.

"Sophie what's going on…"I started saying as she turned to me.

"Why the _hell_… didn't you tell me you were taking them? I arrive at Derek's, wanting to take them home cause …. I came home early and they're not there" she snapped at me as I suddenly felt guilty.

"Soph…I'm sorry I thought you were on a business trip till Sunday" I said to her but her expression stayed the same. "Do you have any idea how worried I was" she stated as I scoffed involuntary.

"What? You don't believe me…. I love my kids Sian; even though you might have a different opinion…I've cleaned up my act for the last couple of months…." She started saying as I got angry.

"And what? You think that makes up for the 18 you weren't there" I snarled at her as her expression changed slightly.

"How long are you going to use that against me" she said to me as I scoffed.

"As long as you treated me and the kids like dirt" I snapped at her. "What? Am I that wrong…. Tell me something Sophie what's the name of Matty's math teacher" I asked her as she struggled.

"See….it's Mrs. Dass if you even care" I said to her as she didn't even fight me anymore. "You 're not even denying it" I said angrily to her as she was looking somewhere else.

"Are you even listening to me? See this is what I mean…. you don't even listen to anybody but yourself….what happened to you? You want us to try again, but how can I when you're this selfish…" I was rambling angrily as she gripped my arm and turned her gaze to me. There was something weird in her eyes that calmed me immediately. Her look was so strange, I couldn't make it out.

"Sophie?" I murmured as she started gripping my arm harder. "Sian I…" she breathed before I saw her close her eyes, her legs leaving the support she needed as I try to keep her from falling to the ground. "Sophie" I say panicky. "What's wrong…Sophie?" I whimpered trying to get her to wake up.

"Soph" I screamed as she wasn't waking up. I tried shaking her a bit thinking she only fainted but she didn't budge. I checked her pulse, it was there but it was so weak. I didn't know what was going on. I checked her temperature as her forehead was glowing hot. "Hold on….it's okay baby I'm gonna phone the hospital okay, you're gonna be alright" I whimpered nervously as I got out my cell phone and dialed 999.

"Hello…. My wife she collapsed I don't know what to do…. she's breathing but she has a very high temperature, I can't leave me kids alone…. I need an ambulance… please hurry" I whimpered into the phone.


	19. Chapter 19

**Chapter 19**

**Sian pov**

The ambulance came as fast as it could. They put Sophie in the ambulance putting her on an oxygen mask.

"Mum what's going on" Matty said to me. He only called me mum, when things got scary. "I don't know baby" I said to him as I couldn't hold the tears in. "All I know your mum is going to be fine you hear me" I said to him as he was crying uncontrollably. I had called Derek to watch them as I went to the hospital with Sophie.

"I'll see you guys later okay" I said kissing Lily and Math as I got into the ambulance. "Isn't there anything you can tell me" I asked them as the guy sighed.

"Of course there is Mrs. Webster, but not with certainty….it could be anything. It could be a virus, or something more serious. We don't want to alarm you before we've done tests" he stated as I started sobbing as I gripped her hand. We were almost to the hospital as Sophie's machines started beeping. I looked up and gripped her hand harder. "Sophie" I panicked as they told me to step away.

"What's going on" I screamed at him as one held me away from her.

As we arrived to the hospital she was transported to the ER. They stopped me from coming with them and told me to wait in the waiting room. It was the longest 2 hours of my life as someone finally came to meet me.

"Mrs. Webster? I'm Dr. Moonings" a doctor murmured as I got up quickly. "What's happening, is she alright? Please tell me something, no one is telling me anything …. I don't think I can…" I started rambling as he cut me off.

"She's alright… we were able to stabilize her" he said as I felt the biggest relief I had ever had. "Thank God" I mumbled as sat down again. "What happened, what's wrong with her" I asked as he sighed.

"Maybe it would be better if we had this conversation somewhere else, would you like to follow me to the family room" he asked me as I obliged to his wishes. I knew saying I wanted to hear whatever he had to say right here right now, was a waste of time knowing he wouldn't.

"Right…. Your wife has been my patient for a few months now" he stated as I furrowed my brows. "What?" I asked quietly.

"She came in about 4 months ago for an annual checkup with her gynecologist." He stated as I got even more confused. "Right… go on" I said to him as he sighed deeply.

"We found something unusual and decided to test her on a couple of things and she got diagnosed with stage II cervical cancer" he stated as I felt my stomach, my heart every organ in my upper body being ripped out.

"What?" I asked in disbelief as my voice broke. "What do you mean? Explain yourself" I screamed at her as he tried to calm me down. "My God…. She has cancer" I started crying. "What happened today" I asked him.

"She had an infection… we operated on her and cleaned everything up" he stated as I couldn't stop crying, putting my head in my hands.

"She has known for 4 months…. Why didn't she tell me" I cried loudly. I needed to ask him so much. "How far is she…. Is it bad… did you catch it early? Please don't tell me she's dying" I whimpered as he put his hand on my shoulder.

"Mrs. Webster, your wife's cancer has spread to her bladder and parts of her abdominal…. She had her first chemo-therapy 3 weeks ago and had her second one earlier this week. Until now she's reacted well to therapy so we're being positive" he stated as another sob escaped my lips.

"Can I see her please" I asked him as he nodded. "We had to operate so she still under, we just have to wait for your wife to wake up." he stated as I panicked. "When will she wake up" I asked him as he sighed. "We're not sure, we're hoping she'll wake up soon enough so we can make out if there was any other damage done" he stated as I nodded. "Don't be frightened by the tubes and wires, they're only there to monitor her and make sure she stays stable" he stated as he led me into her room.

I looked at the frail figure lying in the hospital bed that barely resembled to the girl I once knew. Her skin was grey and pale and she was hooked up to all kind of machines that made awful scary sounds. I sat next to her and took her hand in both of mine holding it close to my chest, stroking her knuckles and kissing her palm. "Soph…. why the hell didn't you tell me you dozy mare…..if you ever wake up I'll kick your arse for this" I cried.

"Better not tell her that, she won't want to wake up" Kathy chuckled as I started sobbing uncontrollably.

"Kathy I….she has… oh my god…" I whimpered as he rushed to my side. "Hey Derek told me it was fine, what's happening" as she put her hand on my shoulder. I was a mess, I couldn't stop crying as I wrapped my arms around her neck. She held me tight as I cried nonstop.

"Its okay" she soothed me stroking my hair. "She has cancer Kathy…. She has cancer and she didn't tell me" I stated as she held me tighter. "It's gonna be okay hun" she said as I was still damping her shirt with my tears.

…

"Kathy how did you know" I sniffed more calmly after crying for almost 2 hours. "Derek called me… he thought you'd need someone" she stated as I nodded.

"Oh god I have to call my sister in law" I stated putting my head back into my head. "And Ches'" I cried as she wrapped her arm around my shoulder.

"Give me your cell….I'll call them yeah" she said as I smiled thankfully handing her my phone.

I shuffled my chair closer to Sophie's bed entwining my fingers with hers as I put my head on the side of her bed and tried to sleep a bit.

…

I was woken up by a sudden knock on the door. I shot my head up, my face sticky from all the faded tears as I saw Rosie walk in.

"Hey" I said quietly as she seemed to be crying to, her eyes were smooched from the makeup she was wearing.

"What happened" she asked me.

"I'm not sure… all I know is that she had an infection and she…" I stated as Rosie put her hand over her mouth. "But that's bad right, with the cancer and stuff" she said as she put her other hand over her mouth. "Shit" she mumbled.

"You knew" I asked her angrily.

"Yes, look she needed someone to talk to about this and…" she started saying as my eyes almost popped out of my head.

"She could've talked to me" I almost yelled as 2 pair of familiar eyes set upon me. "No she couldn't Sian, you two are separated" the woman said. The woman that had always looked down on me. Sally Webster was standing in my wife's hospital room. The minutes she set foot in it, I wanted her to leave. I knew Soph wouldn't want them here.

"She's still my wife" I snarled at her as she scoffed at me. "Not for long, seems my daughter as finally seen the errors of her ways and filed for a divorce…. I don't even know why you are here, you lost the right to be here the minute you left her" she snapped as I got up angrily.

"Mum" Rosie screeched. "I didn't let you come, to cause trouble… Sian is Sophie's wife… even though they're separated, Sophie still love Sian very much and would want her here" Rosie snapped at her mother shutting her up for 2 minutes.

"Really then why did she tell us first and not her" Sally stated as my eyes grew with shock. They knew? Had Sophie been in contact with her parents. My mind was screaming all kind of questions as Rosie snorted at her mother.

"She didn't tell you mum, I did it… and if I could take it back I would" she stated as I felt more at ease.

"…. believe it or not…. I love her, I never stopped loving her" I said gazing at Sophie's face. "Then why leave her" Kevin asked me. Great now Kevin Webster was opening his gob too.

"Look I don't need to justify myself to 2 people that nor I or Sophie have spoken to in 8 years" I snapped at him. "And not that it's any of your business, but sometimes love isn't enough" I stated as I went to sit back down in my chair.

…

They had been shuffling around in the room for over an hour and I was starting get fed up by their snarky comments and nasty allegations.

"I want you to leave" I said quietly as they didn't stop speaking. "Rosie" I said sternly as she turned to me.

"Make them leave" I said to her as Kevin and Sally started protesting. "Sophie is our daughter, we have a right…" they started saying as I kicked off.

"A right?" You two haven't had the right the minute you turned your backs on her." I snarled at them. "So she wanted to marry me…. so what? You were right, we didn't last… but it wasn't because we were too young, trust me on that" I snarled at her giving her a piece of my mind. "Just go Sophie wouldn't want you here" I stated as I saw a glance of hurt in their eyes, I felt guilty but not enough to take back what I said.

"We're not going anywhere" Kevin said quietly as he sat down making me sigh out of frustration. I was about to say something as I felt Sophie squeeze my hand. I snapped my head back to her and saw her fluttering her eyes.

"Soph?" I murmured as I was met with to blue orbs, looking right up at me. "Hi….. how are you feeling?" I asked her as she frowned. "Okay stupid question" I chuckled as I felt the tears come again. "You scared me so much Sophie" I whimpered as I kissed her forehead. She looked at me confused as she scanned the room. Her gaze stopped on her parents as her brows deepened. She wanted to talk but they had interbated her before. "Shhh don't try and talk…. Rosie can you get the doctor" I asked her as she smiled at me.

"Yeah course I can" she stated leaving the room. "We have to take the tube out first, then you'll be able to talk again" I said tenderly as I was stroking her hair.

…

After Sophie got checked out by the doctor they pulled out the tube and gave her a bit of water.

"Sian" she whispered as I smiled at her. "What is it… what do you need…" I started saying as she cut me off. "What happened" she asked me as I held her hand tightly.

"You collapsed while you were at the apartment…..the doctor told me about the cancer. Why didn't you tell me" I asked her as she turned her gaze.

"I thought…. You wouldn't have cared" she said coldly. I couldn't believe what she just said. "You don't believe that yourself" I asked her as she avoided my gaze. "Sophie… of course I care, I love you…" I started saying as she untangled our hands. "Don't, just go Sian" She said angrily as I felt the lump in my throat pushing out the tears. "No, I'm not leaving you" I stated stubbornly as she sighed.

* * *

**hey guys i just wanted to say thank you for all of your lovely comments it really makes my day. **

**i wanted to reply to one of you also concerning the peter/carla thing. i understand it can be a drag sometimes that it's always about the same 2 characters, unfortunately i don't know enough about Peter or Carla to write a good story about it. I also prefer to write about gay couples so... but if you're that bothered, why don't you give it a try yourself. Write your own story about Peter/carla, be the first to break the cicle ;)**

**anyways thanks again for the comments, alerts, fav story... just thanks for the support :)  
**


	20. Chapter 20

**Chapter 20**

**Sophie pov**

I felt myself getting sick. I gulped as Sian's voice started to deform. I grabbed her arm; I wanted to know I was still here.

"Sophie" she murmured before I felt things go completely black.

…

_I couldn't be happier in my life than right now. Here I was sharing a hot bath with my wife. She's settled between my legs. "Just where I like her." I thought sniggering at my own thought as I felt her lean more into me._

_**I need you so…. That I could die, I love you so and that is why… whenever I want you all I have to do is dream…dream dream dream dreaaaaaaaam…. I could make mine, taste your lips of wine, anytime night or day**__…_

_The radio was murmuring in the back as I started whispering the lyrics in her ear. "I'm dreaming my life away, I need you so that I could die I love you so and that is why whenever I want you…" I was whispering as she started chuckling and leaned into me. _

"_You're so soppy baby" she said to me as I splashed her face with water. "Oi" she said as she turned around as I didn't give her time to say or do anything else and kissed her lips. I could feel her body melt under my touch as she was grinding into me. _

"_And I thought we were enjoying a nice and romantic bath…..and then you go and splash me in the face" she stated trying to suppress the grin that was lying underneath her lips. "You're right…I'm very sorry my lovely, most beautiful, sexy adoring wife" I said to her as she burst out in giggles. "That's what I like to hear" she stated as she turned back around leaning into me letting me kiss her neck. I couldn't help but wrap my arms around her naked body as she rested her head in the crook of her neck. _

"_I love you" I murmured as I kissed her forehead. _

"_I love you too….and thank you for this" she smiled at me as I kissed her lips tenderly. "Best birthday ever" she stated as I hugged her tighter. "Well I know how much you like treasure maps" I grinned as I saw a smile appear from cheek to cheek. _

"_I can't believe you had surprises set up here too…. And here's me thinking Denmark was the surprise….but then you go and do this, you're making your wife standards go up with a few points" she sniggered as I started laughing. _

"_My wife standards?" I asked her as she turned her neck. _

"_Yeah didn't you know we're keeping count…. And there is one thing I don't get" she stated as breathed in her smell. "What is it honey" I asked her as she turned her neck and looked at me in the eyes. _

"_Why I'm so happy that I'm losing to the most amazing wife in the whole world" she said before she kissed me. I kissed her back letting my hands trail over her body. My hand was heading north and cupped her breast as the kiss got more heated letting our tongs battle. She moaned quietly as I squeezed her breast gently. She started grinding her thigh against my center as I felt myself get turned on. _

"_Sian" I breathed as she turned around sitting on my lap. She started kissing me feverishly as I cupped her bum. Her breasts were colliding with mine making me wet between my legs. "God I loved making love to her in the water, her damp hair… the water drops resting on her neck all those little things that made her look so hot" I thought as she attacked my neck. I started panting as I felt her hand travel down my body._

"_Muuuuuuuuummyyyy" Matty started crying, hitting the bathroom door as we sprung apart. "Jesus so much for a romantic, calm bath ay" Sian chuckled as I sighed. _

"_Baby don't sulk….I'll make you scream later when the Mr. Webster out there has gone back to sleep" she whispered in my ear as she got up and put her towel round her body. _

"_Pass me my towel babe" I asked her as she gave it to me pecking my lips in the process. "I want you" I whined as I held her close to me by tugging on her towel. "You're worse than Matty you know that?" she sniggered. "Come on let's get the lad to bed" she said as she slapped my bum playfully. _

…_._

"Soph" I heard someone say as I opened my eyes that were met by a intense light. I tried to block out the light as I was met by two pools of blue I recognized better than anything. "Sian" I thought. I wanted to smile but something held me back.

"Hi…. How are you feeling" she asked me as I frowned. I didn't get what she was on about. "Okay stupid question" she said as I started scanning my room realizing where I was."You scared me so much Soph" she whimpered as she kissed my forehead leaving my skin tingling as she pulled away. I frowned; I didn't understand what got her so upset. I furrowed my brows as I saw my parents. I wanted to ask her what the hell they were doing here, but I couldn't. "Shhh don't try to talk…Rosie can you get the doctor" she asked as I saw a blurry picture that was meant to be Rosie. "We have to take the tube out first" she said tenderly as I touched the equipment near my mouth. She quickly took my hand in hers and started stroking my hair with her free hand.

…..

"Mrs. Webster I'm gonna need you to cough so we can take the tube out" Dr. Moonings said as I nodded and started coughing as he took out the tube. Sian took the cup off my nightstand and gave it to me, holding my head up. The doctor left after giving me a full check up. I realized I was here because of the cancer. I looked up at Sian who kept giving me the same fearful glare. I didn't want her to pity me, it got me so angry.

"Sian" I whispered as she looked at me lovingly like she used to. When I didn't say anything immediately she started panicking. "What is it…what do you need" she started hovering as I cut her off. "What happened" I asked her, I needed to know how much she knew.

"You collapsed at my apartment….Soph…the doctor told me about the cancer. Why didn't you tell me" she said no longer looking at me with love, but with hurt and fear.

"I thought… you wouldn't have cared" I stated as her eyes grew bigger. I knew I was wrong; I just had to hear it from her mouth. "What? You don't believe that yourself?... Sophie of course I care…. I love you" she stated as my eyes snapped back to her. I tried to figure out if she was saying it because of me being ill or meaning it. I looked at her in her eyes, those eyes full of hurt. I couldn't handle those accusing eyes anymore, I needed her to leave. I tried to move on these past few months, but it didn't work. I promised myself I wasn't going to wait for her like a lapdog, she hurt me so much at the wedding….I wanted to move on too this time.

"Don't" I said to her. "Just go Sian" I breathed trying to keep my voice from breaking. "No I'm not leaving you" she said as I saw the tears escaping her eyes. I sighed at her.

"I…" I started saying as she put her hand on my lips. "Don't say it, I'm not leaving you…. I don't care we're not supposed to see each other, I don't care you told me you never wanted to see me again, I don't care you didn't tell me about the cancer…. I just care about you okay? So I'm not leaving" she stated as a tear dropped down her cheek. I felt like crying as a knock startled me.

"Oh sorry guys….they just wanted to come so badly, I'm sorry I'll take them b…" Derek was saying as Matty pushed past him.

"Mum" he cried as he jumped on the bed and hugged me. "Its okay baby, I'm alright" I said to him as I winced when he put pressure on my flesh wound. "Matthew watch it" Sian said quickly as I furrowed my brows. "Be careful with your mum, she's still sore" Sian stated as I smiled at her.

"Mummy" I heard a small voice say as Sian picked her up. I wanted to cry when I saw her with Sian, all of us with Sian…. I felt like we were a family for a second, but then I remembered the pain and the image that settled in my mind crumbled away slowly. "Hi mummy" Lily said as Sian sat down on the edge of my bed letting Lily crawl over to my side.

"Hi honey….mummy's gonna be fine okay" I said to her as she nodded and nestled her head in my chest. Sian looked at me in hurt.

…

**Sian pov**

I saw Sophie sigh as I noticed her room was getting pretty crowded. "Uhm guys I think we're gonna let your mum rest okay" I said to them as Matty started sulking as he got off the edge and went over to Derek. I took lily that was sound asleep as put her head on my shoulders.

"I think it might be best if we would give her some space" I whispered to Sophie's parents as Kevin got up but Sally held him back.

"You're right Sian, you should go" she said as I frowned.

"I was talking about you Sally…..please let's not fight, she needs her rest…" I started to say as she cut me off.

"Exactly so go" she said to me as I felt myself getting angry again. I was about to say something as Sophie mumbled something.

"Soph? What is it? Do I need to get the nurse" I asked her as she took shook her head. "Mum…." She said with a small voice.

"Yes love, what is it" she said with a smug face. "Sian's right….it might be best if you just went" she stated as it was my turn to smirk.

"You heard her….she doesn't want you here, now will you please leave us in peace" I hissed at them as Kevin nodded and took his wife with him dragging her outside.

"Can you take them home please" I asked Derek as he wanted to take Lily out of my arms, but as soon as he tried she woke up and wrapped her arms around my neck not letting go.

"No" she muttered as she tightened her grip and started crying. I didn't want to wake Sophie so I caved.

"Okay okay…. just take Matty he needs his sleep I'll look after her" I smiled as I saw Matty's face turn. "WHAT! NO I wanna stay too" he screamed as I sighed.

"Math.." I breathed as he wrapped his arms around my waist. "Please Sian let me stay I'll be quiet I promise..." he cried as I sighed deeply.

"Honey you need your sleep" I said to him as he wiped his tears. "I'll sleep just like Lily….just please let me stay here with you and mum" he pleaded as I caved.

"All right" I sighed as he giggled cuddling me more.

…

Matty had finally fallen asleep in the seat next to me. I was exhausted, but I couldn't help looking at the three people I loved the most just drifting off peacefully. The sight gave me a small sense of peace and happiness. I got pulled out of my trance as I heard someone knock. I looked up and saw Sally and Kevin standing in the door opening.

"Please…." I started saying as Sally cut me off.

"I'm not here to fight Sian….I'm just here to see my daughter for a couple minutes, I promise we'll be out of your hair in 15 minutes" she said pleading me with her eyes. "Please" Kevin said as I sighed and nodded. The 15 minutes passed quicker than I thought.

"Thank you Sian" Kevin said to me as he turned his gaze on Matty and Lily. "I assuming you gave birth to the little girl" he stated as I smiled at Lily who was resting in my arms with her head in the crook of my neck and nodded. "You can tell, she looks just like you" he stated as I smiled once more.

"Yeah" I breathed.

"I'm sorry Sian….I wish we had been there more" he stated as I nodded my head. "If you want we could babysit them from time to time, so you and Sophie can work on your…troubles" he stated as I chuckled.

"I already have a babysitter Mr. Webster….and I don't think Sophie would be pleased" I said as politely as I could as he pursed his lips and left the room.

"He's right you know" I heard a voice say as I looked over to Sophie's bed. She was looking at me wide-eyed.

"Hey you're awake" I smiled as she breathed in slowly. "Yeah…..she's so beautiful…they both are" Sophie stated looking at our children.

"Yeah they are….He has you personality you know…with his smirks and rolling his eyes like you do" I sniggered as she started chuckling.

"Well if we're gonna talk about resemblances, how bout you and mini-me there" she smiled looking at Lily. "She looks just like you, in every way….she even acts like…well how much a 2 year old can act like an adult obviously" she stated as I kissed both Lily's and Math's foreheads.

"Soph….we need to talk about stuff" I said to her as she frowned.

"What stuff" she asked as I sighed.

"Cancer stuff…..you scared the hell out of me yesterday….I want….I want to be there with you" I stated as she frowned.

"Sian what do you mean" she asked as I looked down and started shuffling my feet. "I want…" I started saying as Sophie cut me off.

"Whatever it is can it wait, cause I feel myself falling asleep….I think it's the drugs" she chuckled. "Sian?" she murmured as I looked up. "Yeah" I replied as she stretched out her arm gesturing me to come to her. I gently put Lily down in the seat and sat on the edge of Sophie's bed. "What is it" I said to her as I was stroking her hair.

"Sing me a lullaby like you used to with the kids" she asked as I chuckled. "Soph" I smiled about to protest.

"Please" she pleaded with me as I sighed and nodded settling next to her in the bed. She snuggled into my side as I wrapped my arms around her. "Which one then" I asked her as I could feel her breath tickling my neck sending me into dreamzone.

"Uhm…. not send me on my way" she chuckled as I started laughing. "Blackbird then" I asked her as she nodded with her eyes closed.

"_All right… blackbird singing in the dead of night…take these broken wings and learn to fly….all your life…you were only waiting for this moment to arise. Black bird singing in the dead of night… take these sunken eyes and learn to see…. All your life…. You were only waiting for this moment to be free. Blackbird fly…..Blackbird fly…into the light of the dark black night…"_ I started singing as I felt Sophie getting limb as I continued. "_Blackbird fly….blackbird fly….into the light of the da…"_ I stopped singing as the machines took on a sound I dreaded.

"Soph?" I whispered as I looked at the line that was monitoring her heart. A line that just went flat.

"SOPHIE!" I screamed shaking her shoulders as the beeping sound stopped completely. "HELP ME!" I screamed as nurses came into the room pulling me away from her. I sobbed so hard, letting my knees hit the ground. I didn't understand what was happening, one minute she was talking to me and the next nurses were performing CPR. "Please" I whimpered.


	21. Chapter 21

Chapter 21

**Sian pov**

They had been performing CPR for 40 minutes as one of the doctors shook his head. I jumped up and looked at him. "I'm sorry" he said looking at me as I felt a familiar knot in my stomach, I started panicking as he was calling time of death.

"NO! please….PLEASE I'm begging you…. please don't stop, please" I started sobbing draping my body over Sophie hugging her side. "Soph come back" I cried as I cupped her face. "I love you, please come back for me, fight for me, please don't leave me, I need you…." I cried kissing her lips as I looked at the doctors. "Please just try one more time" I sobbed as the doctor sighed and nodded. Tears were streaming down my face as they shocked her again. I looked at the monitor looking for a sign of life as I heard a beep. I snapped up my face. "We have a sinus rhythm" he stated as I felt the knot in my stomach untangle and was replaced by relief. Utter relief. I started laughing through my tears as I saw Sophie's heart rate picking up. "Thank you so much" I said to him as he put his hand on my shoulder.

….

"Hello Mrs. Webster" Dr Moonings said as I got up. "Hi… can you tell me what happened" I said as he nodded.

"Sophie's immune system failed and made her heart go into cardio arrest….we got her back thankfully and she's awake now. She wants to see you, so we'll bring her back to her room" he stated as I wiped my tears and waited patiently on Sophie. I glanced at Matty and Lily who had managed to stay asleep through the whole occurrence as I stroked their foreheads hearing a bed being wheeled in. I turned around quickly and was met with my wife's beautiful eyes. She smiled at me as I started whimpering again, tears streaming down. She looked at me sympathetically and stretched out her hand. I quickly took it as I climbed on the bed and started crying as she wrapped her arms around me.

"Shhhh its okay, I'm okay" she stated kissing my forehead as I looked at her. She wiped my tears as I sobbed slightly. "What the hell were you playing at" I stated as she sighed.

"I'm sorry" she said as I shook my head and embraced her in a hug. "Don't ever leave me like that again" I said as she tightened her grip around my waist. "I won't….I promise" she whispered as I pulled out of the hug and leaned in, she pulled away however. "Sian….I can't" she stated as I nodded understandingly. "I'm sorry" I whispered as I realized what I was about to do.

"Are they okay" she asked me as I nodded. "Yeah they slept through it somehow" I chuckled as she smiled at me tucking some hair strands behind my ear. "Soph…. I need….I want to move back in, take care of you. You can't be alone in this…" I started saying as she diverted her gaze. "I don't think I can do that Sian" she said as I frowned. "You don't have a choice, I'm not leaving you alone in this…. Look we'll be as roommate's….I won't be in your way, I promise" I stated as she sighed.

"What about the apartment" she asked me as I sniffed. "I don't care, I'll pay it till you get better" I stated as she snorted.

"What if I never get better" she said as I furrowed my brows. "Don't say that" I said angrily with a high pitch voice as she looked back at me. "What if I want to have people over….or better said a girl over" she said her eyes not leaving mine. "Then I'll leave you to it" I stated swallowing the lump in my throat. The thought of Sophie with someone else made me sick to my stomach, but then again that's what I wanted. I wanted her to move on, and I shouldn't hold her back from being happy now that she has. "You think you could do that" she asked as I nodded slowly. "I…I have a girlfriend too now….Laura I mean, we've been together for about a month now….so I'll have a girl over too" I smiled trying to suppress the tears from falling. "Oh right….okay" she said quietly looking blanky at the wall.

"Okay?" I echoed as she nodded. "It'll be confusing for the kids though" she said as I looked at them. "We just have to explain to them that it's only temporary" I stated as she nodded.

"When do you think I could go home" she asked me as I shrugged. "Dunno, I'll ask the doctors" I said as I got of the bed, suddenly self conscious how close I was to her.

….

"Okay here we go…are you okay, hold on I'll get the wheelchair" I stated as Sophie rolled her eyes. She was finally discharged from the hospital and I had been hovering for days now. "Sian I am able to walk you know" she huffed as sighed.

"Its hospital rules Soph" I stated as she scowled. I put the wheelchair in front of her as groaned. "Fine" she muttered sitting down as I chuckled. "You're worse than me" I said remembering the day they took me home after Lily was born.

….

"_Sian get in that wheelchair" she said as I shook my head. "I had a baby, not a leg amputation" I stated as Sophie started laughing. "Baby please" she said as I sighed and sat in the wheelchair. "Thank you" she said as she kissed my lips. _

"_Here you go momma" she said handing me our baby girl. Every time I looked at her I wanted to cry a little. She was so beautiful, and she was finally here. "Soph she's gorgeous isn't she" I sniggered as Sophie crutched down on. "Yeah….just like her mum" she stated as she kissed my lips tenderly. "I love you so much….I can't believe she's finally here, and I finally get to hold her in my arms instead of my stomach" I stated as Sophie started chuckling. "Yes" she said as she kissed my head and pushed the wheelchair towards the car. _

"_Okay you're all set" Sophie asked me as she started the car. "Yeah go on, let's get this little angel home" I stated as Sophie chuckled. "What?" I asked her. _

"_Just…I think she'll be a little trouble maker just like you" she stated as I slapped her arm playfully. "Shurrup" I said as she started driving. _

"_Babe you're driving 6 miles an hour" I stated as Sophie nodded. I started frowning. "What? I am not taking any chances…I nearly lost you…I'm not taking any chances with her" she stated as I started laughing. _

"_So what you gonna do drive 6 miles an hour every time she's in the car" I chuckled as Sophie darted her eyes towards me. "I'm being serious Sian, do you have any idea how scared I was having you pass out after Lily was born, you could've died" she stated as I sighed. _

"_I know…I'm sorry" I stated as she took my hand in hers. _

"_Don't be daft" she stated as I stroked my little girl's cheek. "Her eyes are so blue I could get lost in them" I stated as Sophie smiled. "Yeah I feel like that every time I look into your eyes" she sniggered as I laughed. "Same" I said to her as she looked at me for a second. _

"_Okay we're here" she stated as she opened the door to our new house. We were met by a screaming Matty. _

"_Mummmyyyyyyyyy, " he screamed as she came over to me and started tugging at my arm. "Careful honey, she's very small and very fragile" I stated as he put his hands behind his back and started pouting. I kneeled down as he took a curious look at Lily. "She's so small, how am I going to play with her….I mean she can't even hold a ball, she's too small" he sulked as we both started laughing. "Well sweetheart you'll have to be a little patient for her to grow up a bit" Sophie stated as he smiled shyly. "Okay I have to show you summit" she said as she snaked her hand around my waist and guided me upstairs. "I would say close your eyes, but you're holding the baby so I don't think that's a good idea." She smiled as she opened a door. _

"_I've been working on it while you were gone…. I know she'll be sleeping in our room for another month, but I thought it would be nice if she already had her own room" she said as I was met with a beautiful nursery and a small cradle. She had painted the walls yellow and there were butterfly prints everywhere. "I thought yellow was a good colour, it's very shiny just like her" she stated as chuckled. _

"_I love you" I stated as I put Lily down in the cradle in front of me and wrapped my arms around Sophie's neck. I kissed her lovingly as she wrapped her arms around my waist tilting me from the ground for a second as I hugged her. "I love you too, don't you ever leave me" she stated as I shook my head. "Never" I stated as she kissed me once more. _

…

"Sian? Yoo-hoo Siaaan are you still with us" I heard Sophie chuckle. "Yeah sorry" I stated as she shook her head and giggled.

"Are you gonna push this wheelchair or do I need to get up and do it myself" Sophie muttered as I rolled my eyes and pushed towards the car.

…..

"Okay Sophie here we are…. I have to go get my stuff at my place will you be okay till then" I asked her as she sighed and replied. "Sian I'll be fine, just go" she breathed as I left the house and headed towards the apartment.

I quickly unlocked the door and started ruffling through the bathroom cupboards, getting my stuff together as I heard the doorbell.

"Coming" I yelled as I tossed my toothbrush in my bag and headed for the front door. I opened the door and saw Laura standing on the other side.

"Hey, what dyou doing here" I said tenderly as I realized she was upset. "Why haven't you returned any of my calls? I've been calling you for days, I thought something might have happened" she huffed as she entered the apartment.

"I'm sorry…. Sophie got admitted to the hospital, I didn't check my cell phone… thinking about it Kathy still has my cell" I said as she furrowed her brows.

"What happened" she asked me as I sighed. "Laura I don't think…" I started saying as she cut me off.

"Sian I'm your girlfriend I have a right to know where you were, and why" she stated as I got a bit worked up. I was about to have a go at her till I noticed the hurt in her eyes and calmed down. "Sophie's ill….she has…. cancer, she collapsed…. So I took her to the hospital and stayed with her" I stated quietly as she frowned.

"Is she gonna be okay" she asked me as I sighed. "I don't know…. I mean just yesterday she…" I whimpered at the memory of Sophie dying in my arms.

"Anyways, here I am and I'm safe….I'm sorry if I got you worried" I said trying to get a hold of myself as I disappeared in the bathroom leaving her in my living room. "Where are you going" I heard her asked as I sighed and closed my eyes in anticipation of what I was about to tell her.

"Back to Sophie's" I stated as she widened her eyes. "Look she's sick….I can't leave her alone okay" I stated as she frowned. "What do you mean? She can get home care or whatever, she had no right asking you to come back for that as some kind of scam to get you back" she shouted at me as I looked down.

"It was my idea" I stated as she kicked off. "What! Sian I thought you two were over" she hissed at me as I sighed. "We are…. But she's still my wife, the mother of my children…..she's still the only family I got Laura….I can't just turn my back on her" I stated as Laura looked away.

"Thought you were filing for a divorce" she muttered as I fiddled with my fingers and opened a shelf. "I have" I stated showing her the papers. "Good then show them to her, get her to sign" she stated as I sighed.

"I can't do that now….I" I started saying as she snapped at me.

"Do you even want to get a divorce? Are you even ever planning on leaving her…you're not are you" she seethed at me. "Laura I left her months ago" I stated as she scoffed at me.

"You might have walked out of that door and hid out here….but your heart is still there… you still love her don't you" she whimpered as I tilted my head to the side.

"Laura…I … no…I" I stuttered as she snorted. "You can't even deny it…. you know what Sian fuck you! and stuff this relationship, I don't want to be a simple tool you can use to make Sophie jealous" she stated as I followed her.

"That's not what you are…. I wouldn't do that, I like you a lot okay?" I said to her as I took her hand in mine.

"But you don't love me….. you don't love me cause I'm not your wife, I'm not Sophie" she stated as she snapped her hand away from me and slammed the door walking out.

I sighed deeply and stuffed the papers in my bag.

…

**Sophie pov**

"Mum you're home" Matty screamed when he got in. "Hey guys… yeah I am, come here" I said as he gave me a hug.

"Hey Soph, I'm glad your home…. Is it okay if I leave you with them, I have to get back and…." Derek started saying as I cut him off.

"Derek I'm fine okay…. I can manage watching my own kids" I stated as he nodded and walked out of the door. About 20 minutes after Derek walked out Sian walked in. I might have denied it, but a part of me was so happy she was back. Then again another part of me dreaded she was the part of me that wanted to move on. The part that got hurt so much.

"Sian?" Matthew murmured as he got off the couch. "Hey babe" she said tenderly as she dropped her bags. Matty looked at the bags and started grinning like the smart lad he was, figuring everything out so quickly.

"What are you doing with those bags" he sniggered as Sian chuckled. "Well I'm back for a couple of months, the time your mum gets better" Sian stated as he looked at me searching for a confirmation. I smiled and nodded in agreement as his grin grew wider. "Are you serious" he squealed as he flung himself at Sian hugging her like there was no tomorrow.

"I'm so happy" he stated as Sian hugged him back. "Yeah me too honey" she replied looking me in the eyes as I felt my stomach flip. It was like she was telling me something. I didn't want to admit to myself what she was saying. I just convinced myself I was seeing things and just ignore whatever I was feeling right now.


	22. Chapter 22

**Chapter 22**

**Sophie pov**

"I'm not tired" Matty said after he yawned. "I didn't say anything, but now you said it …. You do seem very tired" Sian smirked at him.

"NO! I wanna stay up…. I wanna see the end of the movie" he yammered as I started laughing. "Honey we can record it…besides it's already 11pm, you should get under them covers" I stated as Sian smiled and nodded. "But…" he pouted as we both started laughing harder. "Siaaan pleasssee" he sulked as Sian shook her head.

"Your mum's right mister, you should go to bed" she stated as she got up and reached out her hand to him. He got up sulking his way over to Sian as I stood up. "What are you doing" Sian whispered as I furrowed my brows. "Going up with him, get him ready for bed" I stated as she frowned.

"Soph I'm here for a reason…. You stay here, I'll do it" she replied as she started heading for the stairs. I quickly followed her tracks as she turned around annoyed. "Soph…" she started saying as I cut her off. "Sian I'm fine, I can put my child to bed" I stated as she sighed.

"You got everything? Blanket, teddy, water, light…." I started summing up as Sian put her hand on mine and squeezed it. I frowned at her actions. "What is she doing" I thought as I realized she was trying to show me Math was already asleep.

"Come on" she whispered as she kissed Math forehead. As I closed the door she quickly opened it and put it ajar. "He'll wake us up if it isn't ajar" she stated as I looked at the ground.

"I'm sorry… I didn't…. I forgot" I stated as she put her hand on my arm. "Don't be daft Soph…. you're getting there" she smiled as she turned towards the spare room. "I'll just put my stuff in here okay" she asked me as I nodded gulping at the thought of Sian living under same room as me again.

…..

"I called Derek and he'll baby sit tomorrow okay?" she said as I nodded. "Good night Soph" she said as she came out of the bathroom. "Night ba…Sian" I said kicking myself mentally about what I was about to call her. As soon as I laid my head down on the pillow I felt myself drifting off.

…

"_Hey baby" I said as I snaked my arms around her waist from behind making her jump slightly. "Are you really back" she whispered as I chuckled. "Yes" I replied as she leaned into me. _

"_I've missed you" she said as I chuckled tightening my grip around her waist. "I've only been gone for about 5hours" I stated as I could feel she was closing her eyes and started stroking my arms. "I know…. I just missed you all day… it's weird, I've gotten so used to being with you all the time on our honeymoon and now…." She started saying as I kissed her neck. She turned around and put her arms around my neck. _

"_Where's Matty" I asked her as she turned her gaze to the corner of the room revealing an asleep Math. I smiled as she buried her head in my neck and tightened her grip around my neck, embracing me into a hug. She stayed like that for about 5 minutes until a broke the silence. _

"_You're very cuddly today" I stated as she chuckled. "Well I like cuddling you" she stated as I replied. "Well can we move this to the couch, 'cause I'm dead tired" I stated as she nodded taking my hand and leading me to the couch. _

"_I'm sorry baby, you work so hard… I shouldn't expect you to be as chipper as you were this morning" she said sadly as I put my hand under her chin and lifted it. "Don't be daft….I'll always be chipper with you" I said as I put my head on her shoulder. "I love you" I murmured as I felt her kissing my head. "I love you too… so much" she said as she wrapped her arms around me. _

"_Do you know who I ran into yesterday" she asked me as I shook my head. "Who" I asked her as she replied. "Derek" _

"_Oh…. That's nice, you gonna see him again" I asked her as she nodded. "Yeah I missed him" she stated as I got a bit tense. I embarrassed myself badly when it came to Derek, believing he and Sian had something together. "Babe you're not jealous are you" she asked me as I shook my head. _

"_Of course not, besides you married me not him" I sniggered as I felt her chuckle. "I sure did" she said as she stroked my skin above my waistband. "He offered to babysit sometimes so we could get some time alone" she stated as I furrowed my brows. _

"_Look I know you're a bit protective when it comes to Math, but he's like family to me" she stated as I looked up. "Sian I'm very protective when it comes to my family, meaning Matty AND you" I stated as she smiled and kissed my nose tenderly. _

"_When could he babysit" I asked her as her face lit up. "So you would consider it" she asked me as I nodded. "If you trust him…. I trust your judgment enough to trust him" I stated as she started grinning and kissed my lips passionately. "I love you so much Webster" she stated as she got on top of me. _

"_I love you too" I whispered as she kissed me again cupping my face. I put my hands around her waist as she started grinding into me. "I wanna have a baby with you" she whispered barely hearable as I stopped kissing her. "What?" I asked her as she sat up. _

"_Sorry" she muttered as I took her hand. "No what did you say" I asked her calmly as she suddenly got very flustered and embarrassed. "You know I love you right" she asked me as I tilted my head to the side and raised my eyebrows. "Okay stupid question" she chuckled as I took her hand. _

"_I love you and …. I want a life with you, I know we have Math and that's great, but…. I want a baby with you, a little sister or brother for Math…. I want everything with you.." she started rambling as she didn't notice I started grinning. I put my hand on her mouth and shushed her. "I love you too, and I would love to have a baby with you…the thought only of having a mini Sian running around the house gives me a weird but warm fuzzy feeling inside" I stated as Sian smiled. "Soppy sod" she whispered as she kissed me. _

"_So are we doing this then" I asked her as she grinned and started nodding like a maniac. "We're trying to have baby" she stated as I started laughing. "I guess I should make an appointment ay" I stated as she hugged me fiersly. "I love you, I love you, I love you" she kept repeating as she kissed the surface of my neck. _

…_._

I woke up as I got up groggily unaware of the dream I just had. All I knew is that I had the giggles for some reason. As I got down I noticed Sian standing in the kitchen. I leaned against the doorframe as breathed in the smell. I loved watching her cook. I sorted myself out quickly as I noticed what I was doing. "Morning" I stated as she turned around in her dressing gown.

"Morning" she smiled. "You want some breakfast, I got scrambled eggs" she stated as I nodded. "Here you go" she said putting the plate in front of me.

"Thank you" I said with a happy voice. "You seem happy this morning" she stated as I shrugged.

"Yeah don't know what's gotten into me, I wake up all giggly when I'm dying" I stated as I heard her slam the boiler against the counter. "Don't" She whispered as shrugged.

"Okay I want rules" she stated as I almost spit out my orange juice. "Rules?" I asked her.

"Yes rules…. If we're gonna be living together I want to have rules" she stated as I nodded. "Okay… well what would you put in the rules" I asked her. "Okay first of all…. I don't want you to say you're dying …ever" she stated as her voice broke.

"But I am" I stated as she frowned emotionally. "No you're not…stop saying that" she said as her eyes started to water. I quickly recomposed myself. "Sian….I'm sorry" I said to her as she diverted her gaze.

"Okay second rule your turn" she stated as I started thinking. I hesitated as I replied. "Uhm…. no… sex under this roof with … you know…you're uhm girlfriend" I said as I swallowed the lump in my throat as her eyes widened. "What? Sophie of course I wouldn't have… jesus we haven't even, I mean I wouldn't do that" she stated as I nodded.

"Okay third rule you're turn" I said to her as she fiddled with her fingers. "Uhm…. you tell me about the doctor appointments and let me come to them with you" she stated as I was about to protest until as saw the determination in her eyes and realized it was no use in fighting her on this. "Okay" I said quietly.

"4th rule…. Don't treat me as an invalid" I stated as she nodded.

"5th rule, I make breakfast, lunch, dinner, snack whatever …. I don't want you to move a muscle" she stated as I frowned. "Only dinner" I stated as she shook her head. "Breakfast and dinner last offer" she smirked determined as I sighed. "Fine"

"6th rule… uhm… I can't think of anything anymore" I stated as she started chuckling. "Me either" she admitted as I swallowed my last piece of egg and started feeling neasous.

"Sian" I said as put my hand infront of my mouth and ran to the bathroom. I threw up in the toilet as I felt Sian come sit behind me stroking my back. The chemo was making me throw up anything I ate. "Sorry" I whispered as wiped my mouth and started brushing my teeth.

"Rule number 6 : don't ever be sorry for being sick Soph" she said as she left the bathroom.

….

**Sian pov**

I quickly answered my phone as it rang. "Hello" I said breathlessly as I didn't look who it was.

"Sian?" I heard Laura on the other side of the phone say.

"Hey…." I said tenderly as I heard her sniff a bit.

"I'm sorry about before…. If you want I can take you out tonight so I can make it up to you" she stated as sighed and looked at Sophie that was laid on the couch.

"I don't know Laura…. Look it's not your fault what happened but I don't know if…" I started saying as she cut me off.

"Look I know I was out of line with the things I said but…. I want to make it right, please let me" she said to me as I sighed.

"So you don't have a problem with me staying at Sophie's" I asked her. "You mean your own home" she stated as I sighed.

"Look I'm not gonna lie, I do have a problem with it, but I'll live I suppose" she stated as I nodded. "So will you go out with me Miss Powers" she asked me as I smiled. "Do I detect a smile" she murmured.

"Yes… okay, I'll see you here round 9pm" I asked her as she agreed. I put down the phone as I felt Sophie's gaze burn a whole into me. I turned my gaze to her as she quickly diverted hers.


	23. Chapter 23

**Chapter 23**

**Sian pov**

"Its okay" I said stroking her back as she was once more throwing up. I kept her hair away from her face, I knew how fussed she would be if she got her hair dirty. "Thanks" she said with a small voice as she dropped down the toilet bowl.

"Come on let's get you back to bed…." I started saying as she protested. "Sian I wanna brush my teeth first, my breath smells like something died in my mouth" she stated as I chuckled. "Well something is dying on the inside….me" she huffed as my laughter died.

"Rule number one Soph" I stated as she sighed. "Sorry" she mumbled. "You know we have all these rules, but what we don't have you know….some kind of punishment or whatever if one of us breaks the rules." She stated as I nodded.

"So what are you suggesting…. 10 minutes on the naughty step" I chuckled.

"No" she laughed. "How about…." She started saying as I finished her sentence.

"We can ask one question to which the other one has to answer truthfully" I stated. "And I'll know if you're lying Webster…. I can read you like a book" I sniggered as she rolled her eyes. "Fine" she huffed as she was brushing her teeth.

"So…. I get to ask you a question then" I smirked as she froze in her movements. "What? No…no you can't, I didn't know the …. NO" she stuttered as I started laughing. "Have you got that many things to hide" I sniggered as she hit my arm playfully.

"Alright, you're getting off the hook this time" I stated as she smiled wiping her mouth with the towel. "Come on you should get back to bed, I don't want you overdoing it" I said as she smirked.

"Is that you treating me as an invalid, cause if I recall you'd be breaking a rule" she sniggered as I widened my eyes. "No, I'm not treating you as an invalid…I'm treating you as a girl that just threw up her guts in the toilet bowl" I stated as she looked at the ground shifting her feet. I took her hand and lead her to the bedroom startling her slightly.

"You gonna be okay…. I can stay if you want to" I said to her as she got under the duvet. "Don't you have work" she asked me as I nodded. "I do…" I said remembering I was behind on my work. "But I can stay if…" I started saying as she sighed. "Go to work Sian, the shop shouldn't suffer because of me" she stated as I was stroking her head.

"Alright I'll go in for 2 hours….call me if you feel worse, okay?" I said to her as she nodded groggily.

….

"Hey Dennis the usual" I asked to him as the bloke entered my shop angrily. "Why haven't you been open for the last couple of days" he snarled at me as I was taken aback. "That's none of your business Dennis, now I'm sorry I wasn't open and that you had to go to another florist, but there's no need to get angry at me" I said as he calmed down realizing what he was doing.

"I'm sorry….Marie broke up with me and I…" he started whimpering as he put his head on my shoulder getting me slightly uncomfortable. "Oh right…" I said as the phone started ringing.

"I mean I don't know what to do without her…I can't go on" he was crying as I wobbled over to the phone with his head still on my shoulder as I answered it.

"Hello" I said happily.

"Hey" Laura said quietly.

"Hi… can I call you back I'm busy with a customer" I started saying as she cut me off.

"Is it alright if I come to your place tonight…seeing as you cancelled on me the last 2 times" she stated as I detected the hidden venom in her voice.

"Sure" I said hesitantly knowing Sophie wouldn't be up for any visitors especially not my girlfriend.

"Yeah" she asked.

"Uhm… I…. can we go out instead" I asked as she sighed.

"Why? You don't want your wife to catch us" she stated as I closed my eyes in frustration. I knew this was going to be a problem for her. "Look babe we'll talk about this later I really need to go another customer has just come in" I said as I hung up the phone.

"Hello… Welcome" I said embarrassed by the full grown man crying on my shoulder. "Dennis" the girl murmured as he snapped up his face. "Marie" he whispered as he wiped his tears. I rolled my eyes…. "Ugh great live telly in my own shop" I thought.

"I'm sorry" they both said at the same time as Dennis took his girl and embraced her into a hug. They started kissing sloppily as I cringed at the sight. Somehow in all the grossness of it I found myself smiling as I remembered Rosie getting narked at me and Sophie for doing the same.

…

"_Sian I can do it" Sophie said as I furrowed my brows. "Really? You've been trying for 3 hours now and you haven't been able to make it look like half a tent" I said sounding annoyed as she huffed. _

"_Well if you can do it better little-miss-know-it-all why don't you do it" she snapped at me. "Cause you won't even let me try" I almost shouted at her as Rosie came out of her tent. _

"_Alright you two will you stop, you sound like an old married couple" Rosie huffed at us as I scowled at her. "We are a married couple Rosie" I stated as she rolled her eyes. "If you keep it up Math will wake up" She stated as I snorted. _

"_Well tell that to failed Bob the Builder over here, who WON'T even let me try" I shouted at her as she kicked off. "You know what Sian! Stuff you and stuff this tent… I don't need this" she snarled as she threw the equipment on the floor and walked away. _

"_Ugghhhhhhh I hate camping" I shouted frustrated with my wife as I kicked the equipment. I started trying to put the tent together but failed enormously. I sighed and sat down defeated. I just fought with my wife over nothing. It was getting dark and Sophie still hadn't returned to the camping site as I started to worry. _

"_Rosie can you do it" I asked to her as she smirked. To my astonishment Rosie was an expert in putting up tents. I almost fell out of my seat when she told us she wanted to go camping. I mean Rosie Webster queen of high heels and nail polish wanted to go in the woods and sing camp songs around the campfire. _

"_Alright… on the condition you go find my sister and make up with her. I am not spending this holiday with you two arguing or ignoring each other got it" she said to me as I nodded. "I was just about to go look for her, it's getting dark I don't want this stupid fight to get her lost or hurt" I stated as Rosie slapped my bum. _

"_Well go get her then" she said as I made my way over to the lake. Knowing Sophie she would've gone there to cool off. As I got the lake I didn't see Sophie anywhere. _

"_Soph" I said loudly but no response. "Great" I huffed as I sat down on the stone and a sparrow flew next to me. "Hey there birdie you haven't seen my bird have you" I chuckled as the bird looked at me. I sighed. "I'm talking to a bird….I'm going mad its official fighting with my wife has turned me mad" I muttered as I felt to hands startle me. "Really" I heard her say as I jumped so high I think I might've hit the moon._

"_Jesus you scared me" I said breathless as she started laughing. "Sophie, that's not funny you know" I whined as I turned around and saw her standing right in front of me the moon highlighting her eyes and her wet hair resting on her shoulders. _

"_You've been swimming" I asked her as she nodded. She looked so beautiful._

"_Soph" I said. "Sian" she said at the same time as me as we both started chuckling. _

"_You first" we both said at the same time again and laughed even harder. "Okay I'll go first" I said shyly as she nodded. "Soph I'm sorry bout before, I was out of line… I didn't mean it; I was just annoyed at the tent and…" I started rambling as her lips came crushing down on mine. _

"_Don't… I'M sorry I should've let you try" she said as I kissed her again silencing her with the kiss. "I love you" I stated as she kissed me again. "I love you too" she said as she kissed my neck tenderly._

"_Let's get back to the camping site" she stated as I held her back. "Rosie promised to put up our tent if we would make up" I stated as she frowned. "Okay… well we have so…" she started saying as her eyes lit up. "Ooooh" she said realizing what I was thinking. _

"_She doesn't know how long it'd take us to make up…. and I'd like to make up properly without her interrupting us" I stated as I kissed Sophie putting my arms around her neck pulling her close. She snaked her hands around my waist stroking my spine as I felt myself getting turned on. I entered my tong in her mouth exploring every inch of it. I loved Sophie's taste, I couldn't imagine live without it._

"_I want you" I whispered as she cupped my bum with both of her hands. I moved my lips to her neck as she moaned quietly. We ended up on the floor as I was straddling her cupping her face. I was kissing my way down her body as she moaned loudly when I reached her breasts. I tugged at her shirt opening the buttons revealing the black lacy bra underneath. "Are you trying to kill me" I said as she tightened her grip around my waste. I let my tong glide from her collarbone to her stomach as I felt her shudder under my touch. _

"_Sian will you stop teasing me" she whimpered as I let my hand graze over her center. "Sian" she breathed as I opened her button zipping down her fly. I kissed her lips one more time before sliding my hand in her knickers through her wet folds. She groaned loudly as her gaze never left mine. _

"_You like that baby" I asked her as she nodded eagerly making my chuckle. "Please babe" she breathed as I plunged in two fingers making her gasp. Her wetness was turning me on so much as I started a pace letting my thumb brush her clit. "Sian" she croaked out as closed her eyes. There was nothing better in the world than Sophie moaning out my name while I was touching her. "Right there" she moaned loudly as I curled my fingers inside her. I felt her getting wetter as I heard Rosie shouting our names. I was about to stop as Sophie held me in position. "Please I'm almost there…" she said as I chuckled. "Babe … Rosie is gonna fi..." I started saying as she cut me off. "Faster" she murmured as hesitantly picked up my pace knowing she wasn't going to let this one go. I added another finger curling them all as I felt her walls tightening. _

"_Guys… where are you?" I heard Rosie's voice come closer. _

"_Sian I'm gonna…." Sophie whimpered as I kissed her lips trying to muffle her moans as she came so hard screaming out my name in my mouth. I kept my fingers in her for a couple seconds letting her ride out her orgasm as I heard some twigs being snapped near us. I quickly pulled out my fingers licking them clean as Sophie's gaze got darker. "God your sexy when you do that" she whispered as I smiled at her leaning in for another kiss. I kissed her lips tenderly as I heard Rosie's voice very close. _

"_Guys? Is that you over there" I heard Rosie's voice come through the woods as I pulled out of the kiss. Sophie looked at me wide-eyed and zipped up her trousers as Rosie got nearer. _

"_Oh there you are…what are you doing? Sian you're not killing my sister are ya…" she joked as she got nearer. I was still on top of Sophie straddling her. "Omg what are you two doing? Are you… omg my sister is topless, oh god I'm branded for life… why on earth didn't you give me a sign not to come closer" she whined as I chuckled. _

"_Well your sister was too busy coming so" I sniggered as Sophie screeched. "SIAN!" _

_I started laughing as Sophie hit my legs playfully. "Coming…OH GOOOOOOOD coming? Oh I did not need to know that, why? Why? Why? Ugh God hates me" Rosie started whining as she ran away back to the camping site. _

"_You're unbelievable you know that" Sophie said as I started laughing resting my head in her neck. I couldn't stop laughing when I remembered Rosie's face as Sophie started giggling with me. "You have to admit her face was priceless" I stated as she tried to hide her grin. _

"_Come on you troublemaker" she said. _

…

I started giggling at the memory of Rosie's face that night as the couple looked at me questionably. "I'm very happy for you Dennis, now will you get out of my shop and go show your girlfriend how much you love her" I stated as the couple made its way outside. I looked at the clock and realized I was meant to be home a half an hour ago. I quickly took my coat and rushed back.

….

**Sophie pov**

"Mum are you sleeping" I heard Matty say as I opened my eyes. "Hey buddy, no I'm not sleeping just watching a bit of telly" I stated as he frowned but didn't say anything.

"Where's Sian" he asked quickly as I gazed at the clock. "At the shop hun, but she should be back soon" I stated he went to the kitchen. I quickly wrapped the blanket around my shoulders. I had been shaking all afternoon but didn't want to show Matty any signs of the illness.

"Soph" I heard Sian shout as she came through the door. "In here" I shouted back as she made her way over to the couch.

"Hey what you doing down here, I thought you were sleeping" she stated as I shook my head. Her eyes started widening as I realized I hadn't stopped shaking.

"Soph? What's happening? Are you okay?" she asked me as she sat next to me. "Sian I'm fine, just a bit cold" I stated as she frowned. "Sophie you're shaking…. And burning up" she said with a high pitch voice as she let her hand brush my forehead. She quickly got up and went upstairs.

"Sian…" I sighed as she came down. "No! You're ill, and it's dangerous to get fevers Soph you know that" she stated as she handed me the medication.

"It makes me drowsy" I stated as she sighed. "I don't care Soph… please just do it for me" she said as I took the medication. I sighed deeply shifting further into the couch as she put hand around my shoulder and pulled me into her. "Sian what are you doing" I whispered her as she stayed silent and wrapped both of her arms around me.

"We might fight…hurt…you're still one of my best friends Sophie" she stated as she tightened her grip. "Thought we never were friends" I stated as she sighed.


	24. Chapter 24

**Chapter 24**

**Sophie pov**

"Well you are now" she replied as I let my head rest in the crook of her neck. I knew what I was doing was wrong and she was only being this way cause I was sick but…. I couldn't help but feel safe in her arms. I snuggled into her chest as she rested her head on mine sighing contently. "I love you" I thought as I drifted off.

…

_I woke up and felt Sian's arms draped around me. I shifted my head away from my damp pillow as I tried to open my eyes which were still sticky from fainted tears. "Baby" I heard her whisper as I turned around. _

"_Hey" I croaked out as she held me tighter. "Hi" she replied kissing my lips softly. "Are you feeling any better" she asked me as I shook my head. "No not really" I said honestly. _

"_It'll get better" she said as she cupped my face resting her forehead against mine. "Yeah" I breathed. "It just hurts so much though" I whimpered feeling my eyes water. "Hey... shhh" Sian said as she kissed my lips. I breathed in shakily as I closed my eyes. _

"_I was wondering when you were gonna let your walls down" she said as I sobbed "I was trying to be strong for you… you were hurting so much I didn't want to add to it" I stated as she sighed. "Come here….shhh it's gonna be okay" she soothed me as she pulled me into a hug. _

"_Why does it hurt so much" I whimpered as she shook her head. "I don't know… I don't know babe" she said as her voice broke in the end. "I'm starting to think it's just not meant to be" I cried as Sian pulled out of the hug. _

"_Hey don't say that…. we'll try again okay" she said stroking my back. "Sian it was so hard to get you pregnant and when you finally did you had a miscarriage" I stated as I saw the hurt in her eyes. _

"_You're saying it's my fault" she said as she pulled away as my eyes widened. "What? No of course not…. I don't know what to do anymore Sian, I don't think I can go through this again" I whispered as she looked at me on the verge of tears. _

"_You listen to me….it is meant to be, I'm sure of it… and I'm going to keep trying till we have that little baby we both desire so much" she stated as I sobbed once more. "I love you" she said as I cried in her arms feeling more vulnerable than I'd ever felt. She kissed my head and held me tight rocking me, soothing me. "How can you be so calm, it was only yesterday you were crying in my arms" I said as my tears finally stopped streaming. "I just think we're breaking down one at a time" she stated chuckling slightly as I smiled. "We're in this together, we're going through this as a couple" she stated as she kissed my lips. _

"_I love you…. I don't think I'd be able to cope without you… Sian don't ever…" I started rambling as she cut me off. "Hey shhh….I'm not going anywhere I promise, I'll be right here with you in my arms for as long as I can okay?" she said to me as I buried my face in her chest. "Okay" I mumbled breathing in her soothing smell. I felt safe in her arms, as long as I stayed in her arms the world could throw anything at me. _

…

I woke up groggily as I found Sian's arms still around me. "Hey sleepyhead" she said to me as I looked up. "Hey" I whispered.

"Are you feeling any better? No more chills" she asked me as I shook my head. "No … I feel better thanks" I stated feeling her warm arms leave my body as I quickly held them in place. She looked at me taken aback by what I was doing, but her gaze changed to a smile as she tightened her grip letting me rest my head in the crook of her neck. I breathed in her smell, I knew I shouldn't let myself walk down this path again, but I just couldn't help myself.

"You want to watch a movie" I asked her as she got a bit nervous. "Uhmm… well I was about to start on your dinner so… but we can watch a movie I suppose" she said nervously as I chuckled. "Sian its fine" I said to her as she smiled.

"I'm gonna start…I'm making chicken with rice… do you want a particular sauce with, I don't know if you'll be able to keep it in…" she started rambling.

"Chicken with rice sounds great Sian" I stated as she smiled nervously. "I kind of need to get up" she chuckled as I quickly got out of her arms. "I'll be just 30 minutes yeah" she said to me as I nodded.

…

Sian was working on the vegetables as she turned on the radio. She started shuffling her feet to the music just like she always did. I couldn't help myself but look at her in awe as she started singing with the music.

"No place in the world that can compare, put your lighters in the air everybody singing yeah yeaaaaaaaaaaah… yeah yeaaaaaaaaah … in new yoooooooork concrete jungle …" she was singing as she noticed I was staring at her.

"What?" she asked as I shook my head embarrassed. "Nothing" I stated turning my gaze, I could see her smirk out of the corner of my eye. "You wanna sing with me Soph" she asked me as I turned around meeting her gaze. "Uhhm" I started chuckling as she put her face very close to mine. "I know you want to, you used to love doing it" she stated as I smirked.

"Alright what song then" I asked her getting off the couch. I stood in front of her a bit too close in her personal space, but I couldn't care less.

"Uhm…. let's see what's on the radio then" she sniggered as I changed channel.

"_No one, no one can get in the way of what I'm feeling_" the radio voiced as I quickly changed the channel feeling self conscious about the lyrics. "Uhm….I don't like that song" I stuttered as I could see she was thinking the same as I was. I turned the button once more letting the radio voice another song.

"_knowing you the way I do, I only wanna be with you… and I would go to the ends of the earth cause darling to me that's what your worth… where you lead I will follow, anywhere that you tell me to if you need me you need me to be with you …"_ came through as I changed once more, cursing the radio for its love songs. "I… oh for fuck sakes" I muttered as Sian started laughing.

"Not one for the love songs ay Soph" she sniggered as I smiled nervously. "Maybe we should just put on a CD" she stated as I nodded. She quickly popped in the CD as the first song burst through and I started laughing.

"You put on _that_ CD?" I asked her. "Yeah I love that CD… it has a lot of great memories" she stated as I remembered the road trip we had taken for our 2nd anniversary.

God I loved her so much.

…

"_Out of this town, out of this misery, let's hitch a ride to higher ground…. Now that I've come to know I've lost a thing, that I was sure of I had found…. Leave my looks for the ladies" we sang as I looked at Sian kissing her lips quickly and putting my eyes back on the road singing my longs out. _

"_YEAH nail my wings onto my arms and watch me try and spread them" Sian sang as I looked at her in awe. "I love you babe" she whispered in my ear. I had been loving this road trip, we couldn't keep our hands of each other. I hadn't felt this good in months. _

…_._

"Yeah" I breathed as the next song came on.

"Never met a maaaan quit like you, doing all he can making my dreams come true, you're strong and you're smart you've my heart and I'll give you the rest of me toooooo you're the perfect girl for meee I love you I doooo" Sian sang as I noticed her replacing men by girl. I stopped singing as I noticed she was practically singing Jennifer's song to me. My breath hitched as I could actually see the love in her eyes first time in weeks. Love… not pity, or hurt, or anger… love.

"You've got the charm you simply disarm me everytime…" she sang as her hands travelled around my waist pulling me into the dance.

"Put all my trust in you, cause you you'll always be true… this would be awh you and you alone, for me" we sang as we started hopping round the room laughing at our actions.

"You're the perfect ma…" she stopped singing as we reached the couch stumbling over it making us fall forwards. We started giggling as I was lying on top of her. I got closer to her as the song finished and ended up too close. My head almost leaning against hers as she her gaze intensified. Her eyes started snapping from my eyes to my lips. She wanted to kiss me; I felt her breath on my lips as I closed my eyes our noses touching. I snaked my arms around her neck as she wrapped her arms around my waist. I started panting as my lips got closer to hers, my heart almost beating through my chest. The lights were switched on.

"Mummy" I heard Lily murmur as she and Matty came in with Derek. "Hey mum and Sian" Math sniggered as I saw him looking at me lying on top of Sian as I quickly got off her. "Uhm…. we uhm… we're making dinner guys" I stuttered as I could see Derek smirking too. "Fuck sakes" Sian muttered looking at Derek.

"Hey guys…. What you been up to" Derek sniggered as I rolled my eyes. I looked at Sian whose eyes just turned to utter panic as I saw Laura standing behind Derek.

"Laur" Sian said nervously. "Hey… I thought you were coming at 8pm" she said as Laura gazed at the clock. "Oh it is 8pm….I'm sorry we lost track of time…I'll uhm I'll just go change" Sian stated as she ran upstairs.

"Uhm wait up Sian I need to talk to you about summit, mind if I come with you… I promise I'll keep my eyes closed" Derek sniggered as Sian rolled her eyes and stormed up the stairs followed by Derek. I knew Derek was going to question her. He'll probably do the same with me later.

….

**Sian pov**

I fell backwards as I was now sitting on the couch with Sophie on my lap. God she was gorgeous when she laughed like that, her eyes twinkling. "Sian stop it" I told myself as Sophie stopped laughing looking at me with those blue orbs. I started breathing more heavily as I saw her getting closer to me. I needed to get away from her gaze or I would do something I regretted. I looked down and found her lips that only made it worse, now I was yearning for her lips. So I looked back into her eyes as I let myself go and leaned in closing my eyes. I felt her warm breath getting heavier as our foreheads touched. She snaked her arms around my neck as our noses started touching. I wrapped my arms around her waist feeling her warmth radiating from her body as my stomach flipped over.

"Mummy" I heard lily say as I snapped my eyes open and Soph leaned away. I saw Math, lily and Derek come in. "Hey mum and Sian" Math said grinning to his mother that was still on top of me. She quickly got off my lap and stood up.

….

I went through my wardrobe as Derek came in behind me. I couldn't believe I almost kissed Sophie in front of Laura. I hadn't told Laura about what happened at the wedding, she wouldn't have understood. No wait I couldn't believe I almost killed Sophie full stop. "Ugghh" I groaned as I heard him chuckling behind me.

"Can't find anything that tickles your fancy" he asked as I sighed. "Suppose" I muttered.

"Sian I don't want to pry…" he started saying as I cut him off. "Then don't" I replied as he sighed. "Sian…what were you doing? I mean are you two ba…" he said. "No we're not, why would you even say that" I asked him as he frowned. "Oh I don't know maybe because when we get home you're all over each other literally" he stated as I dropped my head down.

"Derek please don't…" I said to him as he got up and tugged on my shoulder making me face him. "I know what you're thinking and I know that I'm on thin ice here, but I just…." I tried to get my words out but failed.

"Just what? I thought you weren't … _are_ you still in love with Sophie" he asked as I rolled my eyes. "Do I even need to answer that question" I said stating the obvious. "Well yeah" he said slowly as I sighed. "Derek… of course I still love her, I love her more than anything.." I said as he furrowed his brows.

"Then why are you with Laura… I mean why not go back…" he started saying as I cut him off. "Because I can't, because it's easier with Laura…. I don't know why. I've been trying to find a way to forgive her but I just can't get myself to that place" I stated as he sighed. "Well you're not the only one who needs to forgive" he stated.

"What?" I asked him as he raised an eyebrow. "From what I heard, Sophie isn't the only one who behaved badly lately…. Does Kathy's wedding ring any bells" he said as I looked down fiddling my fingers.

"I know…. I hate myself for hurting her so much, leading her on…" I said as he sighed. "Honey, what were you thinking was going to happen when you moved back in… you two would just go on like the past couple of months … you can't ignore her here, you can't ignore what's in here" he said pointing to his chest. "When you're living under the same roof, your roof… all these memories…I don't know why you moved back anyways, if you weren't intending of getting back together" he huffed as I saw red.

"Because she has CANCER Derek! She died in my fucking arms…. I can't lose her." I said honestly. "But you don't want to keep her either, you can't ride two horses at the same time you need to…" he started lecturing. "I know….God why do things have to be so complicated" I groaned as he started chuckling. "You only make them as complicated as they are hun" he stated as I looked at him, my gaze getting blurry as I felt a lump forming in my throat.

….

**Hey guys I just wanted to say summit :P **

**First of all thank you sooo much for all of your lovely comments ;)**

**Okay and secondly, on .com there's a one shot battle starting on 11****th**** April. I wanted to encourage you all to vote on the fics and to write your own one shot and enter ;)**

**If you don't like the idea at all, that's fine each to their own I say, you can always just pop in your head in the chat room or on the forums and say hi….. they're very welcoming so don't worry about feeling like an outsider ;)**

**Okay thanks again for your support **

**Xx **

**Celine ;)**


	25. Chapter 25

**Chapter 25**

**Sophie pov**

Sian stormed upstairs as I was left alone with Laura downstairs. "Well this isn't awkward at all" I thought as I went into the kitchen and started chopping up some vegetables. "Who are _you_?" I heard Math ask as he was stood in front of her. I cringed at her smiling at my child.

"Uhm….a friend of Sian…I'll probably be seeing much more of you…now that me and Sian are spending…" She started rambling as Matty got distracted and picked up Lily totally ignoring what Laura was saying. I started chuckling as she glared at me. Math tugged on her sleeve again as I sighed out of frustration. I didn't want Math or Lily to spend time with that woman.

"Why?" Math asked. "Why what" Laura smiled as Matty rolled his eyes making me laugh even more resulting another death glare from Laura.

"Why are you spending time with Sian" He asked as she chuckled. "Because we're in love" she stated as he furrowed his brows.

"What? No … Sian is in love with my mum and you're…" he started saying as the conversation was starting to get ugly. I quickly interrupted him before he could do anymore damage, Sian would kill me if I'd let Math say that to her date, even though I would love to do it myself. "Math put down your sister, dinner's almost ready" I said to him as he kept on rambling.

"You're taking her away from us…why are you doing that, Sian is _my_ mother and she loves my …other mum …. She told me she's in love with my mum, not with…" he was full on shouting at her.

"Math!" I said loudly as I came over to him taking Lily out of his arms. "Be a good lad and go wash up" I said to him as I send him upstairs. "Come here lovely lady, let's get you out of these shoes ay" I said to Lily as I put her on the kitchen counter pulling of her shoes. I felt Laura's eyes burning a whole in my head as I sighed annoyed. "Will you stop glaring at me like that, it's kind of annoying and a bit creepy" I stated as she got closer to me.

"I know what you're trying to do" I heard Laura hiss as I rolled my eyes. "What?" I said sounding annoyed. "You might be able to fool Sian with this illness you have, but you won't fool me…. you think you'll lure her back, but it won't work. Why don't you just fuck off, Sian's with me now" Laura snarled as my eyes widened. I quickly put my hands on Lily's ears. "Excuse me? Where do you get off talking to me like that in my own home, in front of my 2 year old no less." I said to her as I got Lily of the counter and put her on the ground as she ran to her toys.

Laura shifted awkwardly. "I should be telling you to fuck off, I mean you're going on a date with _my_ wife AND you're accusing me of faking cancer, so technically I should be the one pissed off not you" I snapped at her as I heard Derek and Sian come down. Sian came down in a beautiful green dress as my mouth suddenly fell dry. She wore black heels and was showing an amount of cleavage. Her eyes met mine and stayed frozen. She noticed my eyes were trailing over her body as she started blushing.

"You look beautiful" Laura said snapping us out of our trance.

"Yeah" I breathed as Sian smiled nervously making my heart flutter.

…

"_Babe I'm home" I yelled playfully as I entered the apartment. "Sian?" I murmured as I frowned. "Okay that's weird, why isn't she home yet" I thought as I made my way further in the apartment. I threw my keys on the table as I heard some ruffling coming from the bedroom. I panicked slightly and picked up the iron that was lying on the ironing board. _

"_Who's there" I yelled angrily as I put my hand on the handle. "Soph?" I heard a voice come from the bedroom. "Sian? Jesus babe, you scared the shit of me" I said as I was about to enter. _

"_NO! Sophie, don't come in" She yelled as I froze in my movements. "Why what's wrong" I asked her as she sighed. I could hear her sniff and sob quietly. "Sian what's wrong?" I asked her from behind the door. "Nothing" she said with a high pitch voice. _

"_Honey I can hear you crying, let me in…. what's going on" I asked her as she was protesting on me coming in. I sighed and decided to go in anyways. I opened the door as Sian yelped. _

"_SOPHIE! NO! SHIT….CLOSE YOUR EYES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD!" She yelled as I saw a flash of white and immediately turned around putting my hand over my eyes. _

"_What are you doing Sian" I said sounding annoyed. "I'm trying on my wedding dress you idiot" she huffed. "You have your wedding dress" I asked her smiling as I wanted to turn around. _

"_NO! Don't look…. its bad luck you div" she stated as I chuckled. "Baby, come on …. I can't believe your buying in on that superstition" I stated as I heard her shuffle around. _

"_Well with our track record I'm not taking any chances" she huffed. "Uhm… Soph, what are you doing with that iron" She chuckled being slightly amused. "Oh well I thought… I thought you were a burglar or summit" I said embarrassed as she started laughing. "And what were you gonna do, steam the thief to death" She stated as I laughed. "No… a good thumb to the head would've done it" I sniggered. _

"_Sian can you get out of your wedding dress, so I can turn around" I said as she sighed. "I can't reach the zipper" she stated as I started laughing. "Sophie! Don't laugh" she moaned. _

"_I'm sorry…. How did you manage to close the zipper if you can't reach it" I laughed as she scowled. "Look the bloody zipper is stuck alright and I don't want to force anything" she stated. "Let me have a go" I said to her as snorted. _

"_Sophie I am not letting you see the wedding dress" she stated. "You won't have to I'll keep my eyes closed I promise" I stated as she sighed. "Alright, but no peeking… I mean it Webster if I catch your eyes open…You won't be getting any till the wedding." She huffed as I chuckled. _

"_Well I won't be tempting my luck" I said. "Okay I'm gonna turn around now" I said as she agreed. I turned around my eyes closed and tried to find my way over to her. "Here I am" she whispered as she kissed my lips wrapping her arms around my waist. "Hi" I whispered as I pulled out of the kiss. "Show me this zipper" I said to her as she took my hand to her back letting my trail my hands all over her spine. "You feel beautiful Ms. Powers" I sniggered as I could hear her smile. She turned around as my hands travelled up until they reached her bare shoulders. I stroked them as I kissed her shoulder letting my tong move around her skin. She moaned as I turned to her neck sucking on her pulse point. "Ughh Babe get me out this dress already" she said as I smiled against her skin. I searched for the zipper and pulled it down slowly as I my heart rate increased. I heard her take the dress into her wardrobe. "Can I open my eyes" I asked as I heard her give me permission. I opened my eyes and was met by Sian standing in a strapless bra and knickers. "Hey gorgeous" I said walking towards her. My smile faltered as I saw her eyes puffy and swollen. Her nose and cheeks were red. She had been crying. _

"_Sian? Baby what happened….I knew I heard you crying, what's wrong" I asked her as she started sobbing again. I rushed to her side wrapping my arms around her as she stumbled on the bed. "Hey….shhhh…baby what happened" I asked her as I kissed her forehead. "It's stupid" she mumbled in my chest. "If it's gotten you this upset, it won't be stupid" I stated as she sniffed. _

"_I just…seeing myself in that wedding dress just made me realize you're the only family I have….and my mum called" she stated as I sighed stroking her hair out of her face. _

"_What did the cow say this time" I huffed as she frowned at me. "Sorry" I said quietly as she sighed and snuggled into me. "She just said her and my dad wouldn't be able to make it to our wedding" she sniffed as I sighed. "Honey….I'm sorry, I know how much you wanted them to be there after all" I said to her as she snorted. "I feel so stupid… I knew they weren't going to come I just…" she whimpered as I kissed her head once more. _

"_I know… you were just hoping baby, I know" I said as I held her tight. "Thank you" She murmured after a couple of minutes. "For what" I asked her. "For being you" She stated kissing me tenderly as I smiled against her lips. "You want to go grab something to eat" She asked me as I shook my head looking her toned stomach and revealing breasts. "I have a better idea, why don't we continue what we were about to start when I was taking of your wedding dress" I stated with a devilish grin on my face as she caught on. "Well do proceed Ms. Webster" she grinned as I kissed her passionately pushing her down on the bed. _

…_._

Her eyes were fixated on mine as Laura cleared her voice obviously uncomfortable with our exchange and tried dragging Sian with her, but she resisted. "Soph what are you doing" Sian asked me as she pulled away from Laura's grip.

"What do you mean" I frowned as she sighed. "Thought I made dinner" She stated putting her hand on mine holding the knife as I chuckled. "Well you do, but you were busy" I stated as she started grinning. "Well fine…. You owe me a question though" she smirked as I widened my eyes. "What? No I don't… I… okay I finished dinner, but you were upstairs and..." I started rambling nervously as she cut me off. "Not getting out of this one Soph" she said as I saw Laura clenching her teeth. I was enjoying seeing Laura in agony, jealousy taken her over. It was a small sense of accomplishment after she was making me more jealous then I could ever imagine being.

…

**Sian pov**

"You okay? You seemed very quiet tonight" I murmured standing before my front door as she scoffed at me. "Well how would you be if you found your girlfriend cuddled up to her ex" he huffed as I almost spit out my drink. "What?" I said t her as she sighed. "Don't play dumb Sian" she stated as I frowned.

"I'm not, look we fell backwards and she ended up onto of me that's all" I stated as she snorted. "What and your hands just happened to fall around her waist too? Do you really expect me to believe that" She hissed at me as I sighed.

"Babe I promise nothing is going on" I said to her as she diverted her gaze. "Prove it" she said to me as I furrowed my brows.

"How am I supposed to do that" I asked her as she gazed at my front door. "I want to stay with you" she stated as I frowned. "Stay with me" I echoed. "As in you want to sleep with me? You want to have sex with me, while my kids are sleeping in the next room, you're that desperate for a release….? Woaaw didn't think you were that kind of girl…" I huffed crossing my arms.

"What kind of girl? The kind of girl that wants to be close to the woman she loves" she stated as I snapped my head up. "You love me?" I asked slowly as she sighed.

"I know it's quick but…. I feel like I really l have something here with you" she said snaking her arms around my waist. I knew I cared about her, I truly did…. But did I love her. "I don't know what to say…. Laura I care ab…" I started saying as she silenced me with a kiss. "You don't have to say anything" she stated as we pulled out of the kiss. "I know you got hurt in the past, but I would never hurt you like that" she said as I sighed looking at her in hurt.

"Alright" I said to her as she raised an eyebrow. "To stay the night I mean…. I … you can stay the night" I said to her as she frowned. "You don't have to do me any favors Sian, I only want it when…when you want me too" she said as I smiled.

"I want you" I said to her as she started grinning and pulled me into a passionate kiss.


	26. Chapter 26

**Chapter 26**

**Sian pov**

I had spent the night at Laura's once, 3 weeks ago. I told her I wanted to take it easy and go slow, so we put the sex a bit on hold after that night. she was coming over again tomorrow night though, only to sleep so technically I wouldn't be breaking any rules. To think of it Sophie still owes me a question. My mind was rambling as Sophie came into the room all dressed up.

"You look smart" I said to her as she smiled blushing a bit. "Where you off to." I asked her as she shuffled her feet. "Uhm doctor's appointment, I know you're supposed to come with me but I knew you were working and I couldn't reschedule…. I'm sorry" she said honestly as I smiled. "Well lucky for you I took the afternoon off" I said as she started beaming. "Great" she murmured. "Okay let's go then, I'll drive" I said as she followed me.

"So how's the shop going" Sophie asked me as I was pulling out of the driveway. "Yeah it's definitely going alright" I said as she narrowed her eyes. "Why are you lying to me" she asked as I sighed deeply not wanting to admit my defeat. "Alright…. It's not going that great, if I don't pull my act back together I might…." I said swallowing my words. "I might lose the shop Soph" I said as my voice broke. Sophie gasped knowing how much that shop meant to me.

"But how? What happened" she asked as I clenched my fingers around the steering wheel. "Sian" she said sternly as I sighed. "I just haven't been spending as much time in it as I should" I stated as she frowned. "Why not" she asked me as I sighed once more. "Soph… some things are just more important" I stated as she furrowed her brows. "Like what" she replied. "Like you know… ughh Sophie, I just I …. Like you know the kids and…you" I said quietly as she frowned angrily. "What? Sian you can't lose the shop because of me…. wait do you even have the afternoon off" she asked as I pursed my lips. "Sian" she said angrily. "Okay pull over and switch seats with me, I'm dropping you off at work and then I'm going to the hospital" she said sternly as I shook my head.

"No" I said quietly. "Sian you just said you might lose the shop, why are you being so stubborn" she asked me. "Sian?... For fuck sakes, you're losing something that so important to you and…" she started rambling as I cut her off. "I almost lost you….okay! I almost lost you and I'm not taking that chance again, even if it means losing summit else in the process" I said to her as she sighed.

"I'm sorry" she murmured as I took my eyes off the road and looked at her. She was looking down with her hands in her lap. I let one hand leave the steer wheel and put my hand on her, squeezing it. "I just know how much that shops means to you, that's all" she stated as I smiled. "You mean more to me though….but you're right that shop means a lot to me….you remember when I found out I got to keep it" I sniggered as Sophie chuckled. "Yeah" she laughed.

….

"_Soph are you home" I yelled into the apartment as I saw her coat hanging on the kitchen chair. I quickly diverted my gaze to the living room and saw her sitting at her desk with her headphones on. She was studying again, I never understood how she could study with loud music blasting into her ears. I quickly made my way over to her pulling off her headphones and started kissing her neck feverishly. _

"_Sian" she chuckled. "I missed you" I said as I snaked my hands around her shoulders from behind. "I missed you too baby, but I… Jesus Sian ….I have to study and I Ooooh my…" she started breathed as I grinned against her skin knowing I was turning her on. "Ugh fuck it" she muttered as she turned around embracing me in a passionate kiss. I let my tong roam on hers as she got up pushing me backwards as we both fell on the couch behind us. "Soph" I breathed as she was kissing my neck already tugging on my shirt. She removed my shirt and bra in a swift movement as she was straddling me. _

"_Fuck me" she whispered looking down at my breasts as I grinned. "Always babe" I said as I pulled her down on me. "Take your clothes off" I said as she did as asked. I moaned as her breasts collided with me. Her hard nipples brushing against my skin, only turning me on even more. "God I love you" I whispered as she pulled up my skirt removing my knickers in the process. She was kissing her way up my leg while massaging my breast as she finally reached her destination. She lapped her tong against my center as I groaned tangling my hands in her hair. I was buckining my hips, yearning for more connection as I felt her tong circling the swollen button that was begging to be touched. "Sophie" I almost shouted as she found a steady rhythm. "Oh baby" I moaned as she inserted to fingers joining the same rhythm. She curled her fingers inside of me pushing me closer to the edge as my eyes shut open. I felt the pleasure ripple through me as she started quickening her pace, curling her fingers more often. I finally fell over the edge moaning loudly as I came all over her. I felt her lick up all my juices as I rode out my orgasm. "Fuck…that was amazing..God I love this day" I breathed as I felt her kissing her way up my body finally reaching my lips. "Hi" she grinned as I echoed. "Hi" smiling at her. _

"_So not that I don't like this way of saying 'hi honey I'm home' but is there a particular reason you attacking me." she sniggered as I started laughing. "What is it" she smiled as she wrapped her hands around my waist pulling me closer. _

"_Well uhm…. you know Linda right" I asked her as she nodded. "Course I do, she's your boss" she stated as I started giggling. "What is it" she asked me grinning suspiciously. "Well she's moving to Japan, she won… God this sounds ridiculous but she won the lottery" I stated as Sophie stared at me in shock. "Omg Sian, what does this mean …..oh god did you lose your job? Babe no I'm so sorry, you love that job…" she started rambling as I kissed her. "I haven't lost my job… you could say I've been upgraded" I grinned widely as Sophie's brows furrowed showing her confusion. "Babe she left me the shop….I'm now the proud owner of 'Corner Petals'" I said proudly as Sophie jolted up. "What?" she shouted happily. _

"_Are you serious" she asked bewildered as I nodded making her laugh. "That's….eeeeeeeeeh Sian" she started laughing as she pulled me into a hug causing us to roll of the couch. "Soph" I screeched as we fell to the ground sending us both into a fit of giggles. "I love you" I breathed as she kissed my lips tenderly. "I'm so happy for you" she stated as I hugged her once more. _

…

"Are you nervous" I asked her as we were waiting in the waiting room. "A bit… I mean I've had a couple of chemo sessions…they've been trying for more than 3 months now… I just I hope it's not bigger" she whimpered as I pulled her into me. "Whatever happens we'll get through it alright" I asked her as she breathed in shakily trying to hide her tears. "Hey… don't ever hide from me… it's me remember, I can read you like a book. You don't have to hide your tears from me" I said to her as she nodded.

"I know" she stated quietly as the door flung open. "Sophie Webster" the voice murmured as I gripped her hand leading her to the doctor's office.

"Ah Sophie, Sian please take a seat." Dr. Moonings stated as we sat down. I was still holding on to Sophie's hand when he started talking.

"We've had 6 cycles of chemotherapy so far, I know you've been waiting patiently for your results of progress and here they are." he said as I squeezed her hand. "The cancer has decreased around your bladder, which is good news, it means the treatment is working" he smiled as I felt relief hit my body. He showed us the X-rays stating where the cancer used to be, but isn't no longer.

"Unfortunately it isn't all good news I'm afraid…Because of your latest infections and interventions a small tumor has developed around your left ovary." He said as I looked at Sophie who seemed terrified. "We can try to reduce it with drugs, but with this type of tumor surgery is recommended" he stated as I breathed in slowly trying to take everything in.

"What does this mean exactly" I asked him as he replied. "We'll have to remove her… your ovary, it's best not to leave it too long, we'll have to schedule the surgery as fast as possible" he stated as I looked at Sophie again. She hadn't said anything the whole time we were here. "I'm sorry, could you give us a minute" I asked him. "Certainly" he said as he walked out leaving us by ourselves.

"Soph…say summit" I said to her as she started sobbing quietly. "It's okay…shhh it's gonna be okay" I said as I made her climb on my lap. She put her head in my neck and cried softly. "I'm scared Sian" she said to me as I was rubbing her back. "I know… so am I, but I'll be here with you every step of the way I promise" I said as she looked at me in pain.

"Do you want this surgery…we can always try the drugs, that way they won't have to remove your ovary" I said to her as she sniffed. "Do you really think that's the best idea" she asked me as I sighed. "I don't know Soph, it's up to you" I said to her.

"That wasn't my question…what do you think I should do" she asked me as I looked down to the floor. "I would do the surgery…. Whenever I see you after you've had the therapy… I just, I can't see you in that kind of pain" I said honestly. "If they take my ovary I might not be able to have kids anymore…well less chance anyways" she stated as I hugged her. "I know" I whispered as the doctor came back inside. Sophie got off my lap and sat in the chair next to me.

"We'll do the surgery" Sophie said holding my hand. "Alright… I have an opening in 2 weeks" he stated as she nodded. "Now before we make any decisions, I have to tell you all your options" he said as he started telling us about the drugs and then later about the surgery.

….

"Are you okay" Sophie asked me in the car on the way back home. "Yeah…I just…you could die on the surgery table" I stated as she sighed deeply. "I know" she muttered. "Look let's just have a nice evening and cook a nice meal…. Let's just forget about it for just a second" she stated as I nodded.

**Sophie pov**

"I can't help but think of Jess when I watch this" Sian said as we were watching Lady and the tramp with the kids. "Yeah, those silly Disney nights we all seemed to love" I chuckled quietly as I leaned in the couch closing my eyes for a second. "Are you okay" She asked me as I opened my eyes. I nodded at her as she shuffled closer to me. "I'll always be here for you, you know that right" she said as I lay my head on her shoulder. "Yeah I know" I muttered quietly as a song started.

"_Oh this is the night, it's a beautiful night. And we call it bella note. Look at the skies, they have stars in their eyes. On this lovely bella note. Side by side with your loved one, You'll find enchantment night will weave its magic spell,When the one you love is near! Oh this is the night, and the heavens are right! On this lovely bella notte!" _

The song echoed in the room as I looked at Sian who seemed to the same thing as me. "I love that song" she whispered as I nodded. "Me too…" I breathed as I got closer to her, she didn't seem to fight me when I leaned in and kissed her slowly. The minute she kissed me back butterflies erupted in my stomach and I remembered what I promised myself. I quickly pulled out watching Sian with her eyes still closed. "Sorry" I whispered as she opened her eyes, she pursed her lips and sighed. "Me too, I'm sorry you're right we shouldn't have done that" she stated nervously as I looked back at the screen. "Soph" she whispered. "Let's just watch the movie ay" I smiled at her as she smiled back nervously.

As the movie credits rolled of the screen I noticed Sian had fallen asleep along with the kids. I made my way to my bedroom trying to find a blanket for them but I couldn't find one. I carefully opened the guest room where Sian was sleeping in to find a blanket. I breathed in the smell, Sian's smell and I felt like 1 year back…back where that scent was everywhere. I sighed sadly as I reached for her wardrobe, finding a blanket on the top shelf. As I pulled down the blanket I pulled down Sian's bag with it, discarding it off all its stuff. "Shit" I muttered as I tried to put everything back in. I came across a big envelope with the name of a law firm written on the back. I frowned and opened it carefully. I felt the lump in my throat grow as I read the content.

'_Divorce settlement'_


	27. Chapter 27

**Chapter 27**

**Sian pov**

"Sophie" I murmured as I felt she wasn't besides me no more. I opened my eyes, noticing Lily and Math fast asleep in the couch next to me. I got up and scanned the room for Sophie. "Weird" I thought as I got up and made my way to the kitchen.

"Soph?" I muttered as I went up the stairs. I got to her room but it was empty. I sighed deeply as I went to my room wondering where she was. As I opened the door I was met with Sophie sitting on the ground clutching on to a piece of paper.

"Sophie what are you doing" I asked her snapping her out of her daze as she got up nervously. Her cheeks were red and her eyes were puffy. She tried to hide her tears as she flung the paper back in its envelope and quickly put it away. "Nothing… I was searching for a ..blanket and I … I dropped your bag and…" she whimpered nervously pacing around the room.

"Soph" I said as I held her by her shoulders. "What's wrong, what happened" I asked as she flinched away. "Just… leave me alone Sian" she snarled as I took a step back. "What's happened, why are…" I started saying as she opened my closet and flung the envelope she was holding onto before at me. I looked at it closely as panic hit me. "The divorce papers" I thought as I quickly looked at her.

"Soph…I" I stuttered as she walked past me. "Sophie" I yelled as I went after her. I stormed down the stairs following her. "Sophie" I said as she shushed me looking at the kids who were wide awake.

"Hey guys" I said to them as Math looked at me nervously."Let's get you guys ready for bed okay" I stated as Math came over to me. "You too young lady" I said tenderly as Lily walked over stomping her feet on the ground making me chuckle.

"Sian…. Are we going to spend Christmas together" Math asked me as I was getting him in his pj's. "Well yeah of course we are" I smiled at him. "But everyone, you me lily AND mum?" he stated making me chuckle as I nodded. "Really?" he beamed as I nodded putting him on the stool.

"Brush your teeth while I change your sister in her pj's yeah" I said to him as he nodded and started brushing his teeth eagerly. "Come here you" I said to her as I was changing her. "Sian w..Kol muym get… book toggegger" he said with his mouth full of foam. "Baby spit the foam out I can't understand you" I said to him as he spit quickly. "I said, will you and mum get back together" he asked hopefully as I sighed. "Math…I…I'm not sure" I said honestly. "Does that mean yes is still a possibility" he asked me as I sighed. "Let's get you to bed ay" I said to him as I tugged him in. "I love you and you" I said kissing them both on the cheek as I waited for them to drift off.

…

"_Babe you're gonna stare him to death you know" Sophie whispered in my ear as I chuckled quietly. "What? So I like watching our son falling asleep, there's no law against it" I stated as she started smiling and kissed my lips gently. "No there isn't" she stated as she grasped my hand. "Let's go, the babysitter is in the living room he will be fine" she reassured me as she pulled out of his room and through the front door. _

"_What kind of bar is this anyways" I huffed as Sophie sighed. "Please let's not fight tonight, I know we had a bit of rough week with Math starting Kindergarten and…" she started saying as I finished her sentence. "And what ….your assistant trying it on with you" I huffed as she stopped her tracks and pulled me into her. "Hey…You know you are the only one for me" she stated as I felt myself relax a bit at the touch of her hands. "Yeah I know I just… I just don't like it" I huffed as she kissed me tenderly. "I love you and you have got nothing to worry about, I'm in this relationship for the long run" she stated as I smiled shyly at her. _

"_Come on you let's go to this stupid staff drink and then we can go home" she said to me as smiled and nodded. "I love you too Soph, that's why I get so jealous" I stated hugging her as she snaked her arms around me. _

"_Oi Webster stop fucking your wife and join us" we heard a voice shout in the distance as we pulled out of the hug chuckling. _

…

"_So Sian you don't mind Sophie going to Dubai nest week" Dana said as I frowned. "Dubai?" I murmured as Sophie came sitting next to me. "What did I miss" she said happily as Dana left us to it. "When were you gonna tell me you were going to Dubai" I asked her angrily. "What? I haven't agreed to that, I told them I would think about it but it would be unlikely" she stated as I furrowed my brows. "Oh" I said feeling rather stupid. _

"_I wouldn't just go to Dubai without telling you" she stated as I nodded. "I'm being a bit of twat tonight aren't I" I said to her as she chuckled. "No you're just showing me in your own messed up way that you love me" she stated as I smiled and kissed her lips. "I'm sorry for having a go before, for this whole week actually… I just …" I sighed as she lifted my chin. "Its fine babe I know it's been tough" she said to me as I gave her a shy smile. "Sophie let's dance" Someone called behind her. "Hey Alice" Sophie said awkwardly to her assistant. I was fuming as I saw her flirty hands trail over Sophie's arms as I cleared my voice. _

"_Hi I'm sorry but she already promised her next dance with me" I uttered, jealous of the way her eyes were all over Sophie's body. "Uhm yeah" Sophie said looking at the ground. "Awwwh well next dance then, I want to see your moves Webster" she said. Was this girl serious? She is flirting with my wife right in front of my nose. _

"_No actually" I snapped. "Sian" Sophie whispered. "No! I'm not gonna stand here while she's chatting you up! News flash hun she's taken" I almost shouted at her as she rolled her eyes. "Well that can always change" she sniggered at Sophie who sighed saying nothing. "You know what? She's all yours cause I'm leaving" I huffed as Sophie grasped my wrist and kissed me. "Do you have any idea how hot you are when you're jealous" she stated as I frowned. She looked behind her and said. "I'm gonna dance every single dance with my wife, so you should try your luck with someone else" she smirked as she turned her face back to me. "Now where were we" she said putting her hands on my hips as she kissed my neck tenderly. _

"_I'm still mad at you" I stated. "Okay" she smiled as she kissed me again as she started swaying to the music. "Dance babe" she whispered in my ear as I sighed and wrapped my arms around her neck. "You're luck you're such a good dancer" I smirked as she nuzzled her face in my neck. "I'm always lucky when I'm with you" she stated as I chuckled. "Cheesy sop" I said as she kissed my neck sending shivers down my spine. _

…

"Sophie" I breathed when I got down the stairs. She was standing in front of the kitchen counter putting on the kettle. "Soph please say something" I murmured nervously as she sighed. I went over to her as she was pouring herself a cup of tea. "I'll do it" I said to her as she tried to discharge of the left over water. "Its fine Sian" she snapped as I tried to take the kettle off her hands. "No I'll do it you just sit" I smiled trying to get the kettle out of her hands as we both struggled.

"Sian don't… oh for fuck sakes" she cried as the water spat on her hand. "Shit Soph oh my god are you alright… let me see" I said holding on to her hand as she flinched at my touch. "Soph" I tried again as she cut me off. "STOP hovering" she said sternly as she put her hand under the tab.

"I'm sorry" I whispered as I hopped on the counter sliding my head into my hands. "Why do you keep treating me like I'm incapable of doing anything on my own? I mean I know I'm ill, but there are limits Sian" she snapped at me as I felt a lump growing in the back of my throat. "I just…" I croaked out as she kept talking. "I mean like now… I found summit I wasn't supposed to see and you're hovering around me like I'm about to collapse or summit" she shouted angrily as I got worked up.

"You COULD collapse at any moment Sophie! You DIED Sophie, I was singing you to sleep and you died in my arms!" I snarled at her as she looked down "I know" she muttered "Do you have any idea how terrified I was, how hard it was to beg them to keep trying to save you. I was holding on to a shred of hope that got smaller and smaller every time they shocked you and that line stayed flat. They were about to STOP Soph! Do you hear me? I had to beg them to try one more time, just one more time" I shouted at her as I started sobbing.

"And I came back" she said calmly as I sniffed. "Exactly you came back and right now I hover because I'm scared…scared of losing you again, I'm scared that I'm gonna wake up tomorrow and find you dead in your bed!" I whimpered as she sighed embracing me in hug. "I'm sorry" she whispered holding me tight. We pulled out of the hug after a while.

"Soph about the divorce papers I… god I …" I started stuttering as Sophie sighed. "Why didn't you tell me you got them" she asked me as I looked at the ground. "I don't know…" I sighed as Sophie got angry. "Well that's just fucking great isn't it" she snapped at me. "Soph I.." I started stuttering again. "You what Sian?" she asked angrily as I gulped. "I'm sorry, I didn't want you to find out like that" I stated as she looked up at me in hurt.

"So I was supposed to find out eventually" she asked me as I sighed. "Yeah I suppose" I said quietly as she nodded. "I guess I should get a pen then" she said as she started walking away. "A pen" I murmured. "Yeah to sign them papers, I saw you already signed them… so why wait ay" she stated as I started panicking.

"Soph wait" I yelled after her. "For what Sian? I think we've both hurt each other enough don't you?" she asked me as I felt tears stream down my cheeks. She sighed heavily dropping her hand down besides her body.

"Don't cry, you know I hate it when you cry" she said brushing away my tears. "I thought this is what you wanted" she asked me as I looked at her with watered eyes.

"Do you really want to get a divorce" I said to her as she sighed. "You know I'd do anything for you, and if this is what you need then I will give it to you" she stated as I sobbed slightly. "I know I hurt you so much over the last year, I would change it if I could… God Sian I regret it so much, but if you would let me…. I would make it my lifelong job to make it up to you, to make you trust me again" she said as my lips started to shiver.

"Sian is this really what you want… the divorce is it what you want" she asked me as I sobbed quietly. There you had it, the million dollar question.

"No" I whispered as her gaze turned softer. I got startled by the doorbell. "I'll get that" I said quietly as I got to the door wiping my tears away. I opened our front door and was met by Laura standing on the other side.

"Hey baby" she said happily as she pecked my lips. "Are you okay, you look like you've been crying" she asked as I shook my head.

"No I'm fine…. Laura what are you doing here? I thought you were coming over tomorrow" I asked her as she smiled. "Well I the weather said that roads would be very difficult to access tomorrow because of the snow so I just thought I'd pop in now to avoid that, you weren't answering your phone so I thought I would just tempt my luck… so is it such a bad time for your girlfriend to be here or do you want me to stay" she said as I gulped.


	28. Chapter 28

**Chapter 28**

**Sophie pov**

"Oh great, just dandy… does she plan it or summit" I thought as Sian let her into the house. "Do you mind Soph" Sian asked me as I sighed. What did she expect me to say, yes I'm fine with you kissing another woman in our house after you just told me you didn't want a divorce. For god sakes. "No" I smiled fakely as Laura smiled smugly.

"I brought dessert" she beamed as she walked towards the kitchen. I sighed deeply as Sian followed her. "Great" I said as I went back to the kitchen sitting down on one of the chairs.

"I thought maybe you and I could watch a movie together" Laura said as she got closer to Sian wrapping her arms around her waist. I was seething with jealousy, it was one thing knowing she was allowed to kiss and hold Sian but it was another to actually see it. Thankfully Sian shuffled away awkwardly as she looked at me. "Fuck sakes" Laura muttered frustrated making me smirk.

"Hey Sophie…. Have any plans tonight" she said as bit to happily. "No not really just plan on staying in and watching a movie or summit" I said with an evil grin. "Oh right… you got a telly in ya room then" she asked as I raised an eyebrow. Me and Sian never bought a telly cause we liked snuggling up to each other on the couch. "No I don't, so I'll be watching whatever you two choose to watch" I smiled as I poured myself another cup of tea as my previous one had gone cold. "Oh right…." She said as she started whispering something to Sian making me sigh out of frustration.

"Stop it" I heard Sian whisper angrily as she joined me in the kitchen she looked at me once and her eyes practically screamed "I'm sorry" to me.

We ended up on the couch watching 'home alone', it was the holiday season so a lot of Christmas movies were showing.

"_I'm dreaming of a white Christmas, just like the ones I used to know. Where the treetops glisten and children listen to hear sleigh bells in the snow_" the song echoed in the room as I started chuckling remembering the first time we brought a tree home after we gotten married.

…

"_Sophie will you at least help me…. you're just gonna stand there making fun of me aren't you" she huffed as I rolled my eyes. "I'm right here babe, keep your pants on" I said to her as she scowled at me. "Come on help me to get this in the elevator" I said to her as she frowned. _

"_Let's take the stairs, it's been playing up all week cause of the cold, I don't want to be stuck in that elevator for hours" she stated as I rolled my eyes. "Sian it's like 8 floors I'm not walking up 8 flights of stairs so we might not get stuck in that elevator… now if we're doing this then we're taking the elevator" I stated putting my foot down as she huffed. "Fine" she muttered stomping her feet on the ground as she was pushing the tree violently in the elevator. "Hey be careful the tree might push back" I smirked as she scoffed at me. "Really and how is he…" she started saying as I gave her a gently push plunging her forward. "Told you he would push back" I laughed. _

"_Sophie" she screeched. "Will you calm down babe" I said to her as I wrapped my arms around her waist. "I'm relaxed" she said with a high pitch voice. "Baby you're tenser than a violin string" I said to her as she diverted her gaze frowning. "come here sweetcheeks" I murmured kissing her cheek making her sigh and smile a little. "Sorry" she smiled burying her head in my chest. I kissed her forehead as the elevator stopped abruptly. I felt a small wave of panic when I Sian gave me the death glare. _

"_Fuck sakes the elevator stopped SOPHIE! Great! Just great now we'll be stuck here for hours" she hissed at me as I frowned. "Don't worry I'll call the station and they can come and get us out" I stated as she scoffed at me. "And how will they do that hu? The snow has been blocking every street accessing ours" she huffed sitting down dramatically. _

"_Babe" I sighed. "Don't" she muttered angrily. "If you're worried you'll get cold I'll keep you warm" I sniggered as she gave me another death glare. "Fuck sakes Sian, it's not my fault the elevator stopped" I sighed as her eyes widened._

"_I told you to take the flaming stairs, but no you had to take the elevator" She huffed as I sighed once more sitting down next to her. "Sorry" I muttered as I tried to reach for her hand but she shuffled away. We must've sat there for a while until I cleared my voice again. _

"_I should call the station anyways don't you think" I said to her as she shrugged making me sigh as I pulled out my cell phone. _

"_Hi yes we're stuck in the elevator of our building… yes I know it's hard be… okay.. yes thank you" I said as I hung up. "Twat" I muttered as Sian looked up. "What did he say then" she asked me as I sighed. "He said he'd be in touch" I stated as she shook her head snorting angrily. _

"_Sian!" I said angrily "What" she snapped back. "Why are you being like this, you've been snapping at me for days, what's wrong" I asked her as she turned her face. "Nothing…" she muttered shrugging in the process. "Fine we'll just sit here saying nothing or snapping … that's just charming" I said to her as I swore I could hear her sniff. _

…

"_My phone died" she said quietly as I sighed. "Yeah mine's about to go too, I think we might be stuck here till morning….I'm sorry baby" I said to her as she stared at me. Her eyes seemed so full of defeat and anger. I shuffled closer to her and reached out to her. She let me hold her hand this time, she even let me put my arm around her. "I'm really sorry you were right" I said to her. "….but, you don't have to snap at me for it" I said honestly as she sighed. _

"_its fine Soph" she muttered at me. I knew it wasn't fine; she was still narked at me. "What do you want me to do to make this better for you" I said to her as she sighed. "Just leave it Sophie" she said sternly as I frowned. _

"_No I won't" I said to her as she groaned. "You know what Sian?" I almost screamed at her. "What? What Sophie" hissed at me as I smirked. "I'm dreaming of a white Christmas" I sang with a very low ridiculous voice. Sian seemed confused. "Stop it" she said sounding annoyed as I shook my head. "Like the ones I used to knoooooooow" I sang very off key but very loudly. "Please Sophie stop singing" she pleaded as my smile grew bigger. "When the treetops glisten and and children listen to hear sleigh bells in the snoooooooooooooooooooooow" I screamed on the top of my longs. "I I I aaaam dreaming of a whi…" my singing got muffled as Sian kissed me forcefully making me smile into the kiss. I cupped her face and pushed her against the elevator making her moan in my mouth. "I'm sorry" she whispered smiling at me as I kissed her again letting my tong swarm across the inside of her mouth battling with her tong. "Uhgm soph" she moaned as I grinded my thigh against her center. I started kissing her neck as she started panting. I let my hand go down to her thigh caressing knowing it would turn her on. _

"_Oh babe" she said as she put her leg around me pushing me further into her. I zipped open her coat and roamed my hands over her sides. I pulled up her skirt, pulled down her stockings and was cupping her underwear covered cunt. "Soph" she whimpered as we both got startled by the elevator starting to motion again. I started laughing as I looked at Sian who seemed very flustered. "Will you get on with it" she panted as I laughed. "Babe we're nearly at the apartment we can.." I started saying as she cut me off kissing me again, pushing my hand in her knickers. _

"_I don't care" she whispered her husky voice driving me crazy as she pushed the alarm button making us stop again. "Sian" I said confused but she pressed my hand against her very wet folds pleading me with her eyes. I brushed my fingers over her clit making her shift her head back and moan loudly. "Shhh Sian" I shushed her kissing her sweetly as I inserted to fingers through her wet folds making her gasp. I started gaining a pace as she gripped my back putting her head on my shoulder. _

"_Faster" she whimpered gripping on tighter as I quickened my pace. "Oh god" she almost screamed as I curled my fingers inside of her. "Don't stop" she whispered her voice turning me on so much, I loved it when she was vocal. "Babe" she whimpered again as I thrusted my fingers in deeper, curling them more often as I felt her walls tighten around me. _

"_Sian are you going to…" I said to her as she cut me off. _

"_I'm comi… oh Sooooph" she screamed out in pleasure as I grinned slowing down my pace as I let her ride out my orgasm. I pulled out my fingers as I looked at her in awe, she still had her eyes closed while her chest was heaving rapidly. "I love you" she whispered opening her eyes. "I love you too babe" I said to her as I kissed her lips cleaning my fingers on her coat. I pushed the alarm button off but the elevator didn't move. I smirked at her as she rolled her eyes. "Guess we're even ay" I joked as she chuckled. _

"_I know…I did it this time…. But I really don't mind, I think we can keep ourselves busy for a couple more hours don't you" she said to me with an evil glint in her eyes. "So does this mean I'm forgiven" I said to her as she chuckled nodding her face. "Nothing to forgive it was me that was being a cow" she said as she pulled me into a kiss. "It's just been a stressful week, make it better for me" she sniggered in-between kisses as I started laughing. _

…_._

Sian couldn't hold in her laughter either as the song went on. We had made it a tradition to put on the song while decorating the Christmas tree and after we would go to bed and well make love almost all night.

"What are you two laughing at" Laura said sounding annoyed as my laughter died. "Just the song babe" Sian said as I cringed at the word babe. "Well what's so funny about it" she huffed as Sian sighed. "It's just reminds us of summit" she smirked looking at me.

"Oh right… well… come here" she said pulling Sian into a kiss. She must've noticed Sian and I were having a moment cause when they pulled out of the kiss and hugged, she looked at me with a smug face. I could've killed her in that right moment. I didn't want to let her win, but I was getting so tired and I really didn't want to sleep on the couch.

"I'm gonna go to bed guys" I stated as Laura beamed. "Oh you want me to come up with you" Sian said making Laura frown. "To you know make sure you're alright" she said as I rolled my eyes scoffing at her. "No I'm fine" I huffed as I left and went to sleep.

….

I woke up by the smell of bacon downstairs. I got up and made my way down as I saw Sian standing in the kitchen moving to some music she put on. I chuckled taking the view in, watching her in awe. I was about to go in when I heard something I never wanted to hear this early.

"Sian baby you look dead hot when you cook" Laura sniggered. "Especially in that baggy shirt I just want to …" she started saying as Sian noticed me. "Soph" she said nervously as Laura sighed.

"Hey … morning" I said as I entered the kitchen sitting down next to Laura. "You want some eggs" she asked me as I didn't reply.

"What is she doing here Sian" I said instead of answering to her question. "Soph I can explain" she said nervously as I laughed angrily. "Oh well I'm waiting" I said.

"The snow storm got worse last night and I didn't want her to go through that with her car so I let her stay the night" she stated as I nodded. "Right… suppose that's okay… just wish I knew before I came down" I stated. "Why" Laura asked me. God every time she spoke I wanted to punch her in the face.

"Well because it's my house, and I would like to know who's staying in it" I huffed as she snorted at me. "So it's not because you can't stand the fact that I slept with Sian" She said smugly.

"Laura" Sian said with a high pitch voice obviously angry. "What? Why should it be a secret? We're dating for Christ sake" she huffed as something went off in me. "Wait did she does say sleep with Sian" I thought.

"Wait did you two sleep together last night" I asked trying to hide my anger. "Yes" Laura said proudly as Sian joined in. "Wait no… well we slept in the same bed, but we didn't…" she started stuttering as relief hit me. I couldn't stand the fact Sian would ever sleep with anyone else, especially if she didn't want us to be over completely. "Yeah but we do actually sleep together at my place" Laura added as my heart got ripped out of my chest. "You slept together" I asked Sian as she looked at me scrunching up her face, obviously panicking. "I'm sorry" she stuttered as I felt my throat closing up by the big lump. "Sorry" Laura huffed as she saw Sian looking at me.

"Oh that's just great Sian" she huffed taking her coat and heading for the front door. "No Laura I didn't mean … wait, I'm sor… ughh" Sian groaned as Laura went out of the door. She put her head in her hands as she leant against the kitchen counter.

"Shit" she muttered as I felt the tears prickling in my eyes. "I can't believe you slept with someone else…. You had sex with someone that wasn't me" I croaked out as tears started streaming down my cheeks.


	29. Chapter 29

**Chapter 29**

**Sian pov**

"I can't believe you had sex with someone that wasn't me" I heard her whimper as I started crying. "Soph" I croaked out as she snapped her head up.

"Why" she yelped as I closed my eyes. "I'm sorry" I whispered. "I don't understand you, if you knew deep down in your heart that you still wanted this…us…Why did you sleep with her? Why? I have always been faithful to you… I mean I might've kissed other people when we were separated, but never have I ever slept with anyone that wasn't you" she screamed at me as I felt the tears streaming down my cheeks. "Because to me Sian, you are everything and since the day that I met you I didn't want to sleep with anyone but you!" she sobbed as I went over to her.

I wanted to comfort her, tell her everything was alright. But she flinched at my touch. "I'm sorry Soph… I never wanted to hurt you" I said to her as she scoffed. "Sian you've been doing nothing but…. And I know I've been hurting you too, but…God why did…." She started stuttering.

"Sophie.." I started saying as she cut me off. "Do you love her?" she asked me as I looked down shrugging slowly. "Does she even know anything about you… does she know your favorite flowers?…. Does she know that you have nightmares every single night lately?…" she said as I frowned. "Don't even try to deny I can hear you scream at night Sian… does she even know about St. Claire's… Does she? Does she know you and I met in a Looney bin ay" she yelled at me as I felt myself getting smaller.

"No" I whispered as she dropped her head sighing. "I hate you for doing this" she stated as I cringed at her words. She'd never spoken to me like this.

"You want the truth Soph? Fine I'll give it to you! Yeah I slept with her, to erase you… I tried to erase you from my heart Sophie! I'm trying to get out of this hold you have on me…. I hate it, I hate it so much… I love you and for months you got away with everything because of it" I yelled at her as she sat down at the table. "Don't start this again… we've been over this before" she stated quietly.

…

"_Sian! Sian open up!" I heard Sophie banging against my door as I slid down to the ground closing my eyes. _

"_Sian for god sakes, I just want to talk! Please baby….I love you, I'll change I promise" she cried at the apartments door. "Please" she whispered as she sighed. "I didn't want to do this, but you leave me no choice" she said as I heard the lock turn. I tried to keep the door shut but she managed to overcame my power and entered the apartment. _

"_Why are you doing this" she whimpered at me. "I said everything I needed to say last night… please Sophie I can't…I can't breathe having you here" I said to her breathing in shakily. "I'm so sorry Sian" she said as I let my tears stream. "Please just… we can work this out, just give me one more chance. What do you have to lose" she pleaded as she cupped my face leaning her forehead against mine. "Soph" I sobbed as I felt her lips brush against mine. "Tell me you don't love me… and I'll go" she said as I started sobbing harder. She pulled me into a hug whispering soothing words in my ear. _

"_I'm so sorry baby" she kept repeating as she stroked my head. "I love you" I whimpered as she met my eyes. "I love you too… I'll work on whatever you feel that needs to be worked on" she smiled pleading me with her eyes as I dropped my gaze. "I don't think I can do this again Sophie…. I love you… but that's just the thing, you treat me like shit and you get away with it because I love you so much" I cried as pursed her lips. "I need to stop…. I need to get past this ... you, because if I don't, you'll destroy me" I stated as she flinched at my words. _

"_I don't think I can give you a second chance" I whispered letting my tears fall. "Sian" she whimpered as I started sobbing again. "No…I'm sorry if I'm hurting you like this… I can't stand the fact that I would ever hurt you, but I need to be selfish right now or I'll end up losing myself in you" I gulped at my words as Sophie flinched crying her heart out. _

…_.._

"_We'll need to make a planning for the kids" I stated quietly after a while. "Yeah" Sophie breathed as she looked at me. Her face was puffy and stained with dried tears. "One week me and then one week you" I said shakily as she nodded. "When are we going to tell them that we're…" she said as she started sobbing quietly again. "We'll tell them tomorrow that we're separating" I said as my voice broke at the end. _

"_Sian… is there any chance that you would come back" she started again as I closed my eyes and breathed in. "I'll give you space if that's what you need but.." she said as I cut her off. "Soph.. right now… I would say no… I can't imagine going through it again… maybe in the future… I don't know" I sighed. _

…

"You're right we have… but it's still there… I slept with Laura, cause with her I'd never get hurt like I did with you. I thought getting away from you would make me feel less trapped in your grip, but it only made it worse. I tried getting over you, I tried convincing myself that I was in love with Laura, but every time you were there, sucking me right back in. I gave myself to you… and now even though I want myself back, I can't get find myself." I cried.

"How do you think I feel? I feel guilty every single day for what I did… and you punished me back, in every single way you thought possible. Haven't I had enough… didn't I do my time Sian?" She shouted at me as I could feel her venom. "I love you but like you said there's only so much someone can take from the person they love" she said to me as I felt the whole in my stomach getting bigger.

"I've hurt you… you've hurt me… you've finally succeeded Sian! You broke me, just like I did with you. The only difference is I didn't do it to hurt you deliberately, I regretted it the minute I realized what had happened, I still regret it every minute of every day… but look at you… you did it out of spite" she spat at me as I started crying harder. "So what does it feel like to finally have settled the score? Are you happy!" she shouted at me as I frowned.

"No! Of course not" I yelped at her as she dropped down on the couch. I crutched in front of her as I put my hands on her knees. "That's just the thing Soph, I had to leave you for you to realize what you were doing. And I don't know what hurts the most you treating me like shit or you too oblivious to see it….maybe you didn't want to see it….I am sorry Soph" I whispered as she didn't look at me for ages.

….

"I don't think you should stay here any longer" she said breaking the silence after 2 hours as I sat up. "What? No… I'm staying" I stated as she sighed. "It's not a choice Sian…I'm signing those divorce papers and I'm giving you a couple days time to get out" she stated coldly.

"Sophie, I'm not leaving you alone…. You have an operation coming up in 2 weeks" I said to her as she shrugged. "I don't want you here anymore Sian" she stated as I got up. "Soph…" I started saying as she cut me off.

"Just let it go Sian…that's what you wanted right… for me to give up, well you finally done it, you finally got me to give up on you completely" she said as I tried to hide my tears. "Wait… what about the kids, what about Christmas and stuff" I said to her as she sighed.

"Christmas is in a month Sian… I'm sure we can manage to be in the same room for a couple hours on Christmas eve and morning" she stated as I nodded. "I'm sorry" I said once more as she sighed. "That word doesn't really mean that much anymore in this relationship does it" She stated as she went upstairs.

…

_2 weeks later_

"Hello" I said as the phone rang. I was so scared when I heard someone identify them as a nurse at the hospital where Sophie was admitted to.

"Wait…what do you mean? I thought her surgery was in 3 days… oh right… yeah of course I will, I'll bring the insurance information... Thank you" I said to her as I hang up. I quickly took my keys and called Derek saying I would drop of the kids at his.

"Hi" I said as he opened the door and embraced me into a hug. "Is she alright" he asked as I shrugged. "I don't know" I said quietly as the kids ran into the house. "Keep me updated okay?" he said to me as I nodded.

…..

"Hi I'm looking for Sophie Webster" I said to the nurse as she directed me to Sophie's room. I rushed to her side as she seemed a bit out of it. "Hey sleepy head" I said tenderly as she diverted her gaze.

"What are you doing here" she said her voice sounding hoarse. "Soph… you're having your operation today… I wanted to be here, wait till you got back and…" I started saying as she cut me off. "I don't want you here Sian" She said angrily as I frowned.

"Well tough cause I'm staying" I stated as she sighed. "Fine…Suit yourself" she said as she turned her body away from me.

"Why didn't you tell me your operation was rescheduled" I asked her as she shrugged. "Like I said I don't want you here" she stated quietly as I breathed out shakily trying to hold in my tears.

...

"Alright ready to go Mrs. Webster" the nurse said. "Ms…it's gonna be miss in a while" she stated as I felt myself getting angry. The moment my eyes locked with her though the anger seemed to fade away. I rushed to her side and pressed my lips against hers. "Don't you dare die on that table" I whispered to her as she pulled her face away. "You should go home Sian" she said coldly as I frowned.

"Sophie you could die and you want me to go" I asked bewiledered as she sighed. "Yeah…Just go… I don't want you here" she said as they started taking her away. "I love you" I whispered as she turned her gaze rolling her eyes. "That's 10 minutes on the naughty step for lying to me Sian" she said as I started crying harder.

… "Mrs. Webster…" A nurse was calling me as I snapped my head up and was met by a pair of brown eyes. "Ches…" I said as I got up hugging him fiercely.

"You came back" I said to him as he held me tight. "What's been happening Sian" he asked me as I sighed. "Oh Ches…" I sighed as the nurse kept staring at me.

"Can I help you" I asked nervously. "I just wanted to say that the operation went successfully and she'll be out in an hour" she smiled as I sighed in relief.

"Thank God" I whispered. "Sian…" Chesney gave me a questioning look. I started explaining everything to him, from the cancer to the divorce.

….

"Jesus Sian" he finally voiced as I sighed looking down. "I know" I muttered as Sophie's bed was wheeled in, with her lying in it still unconscious. "She doesn't want to see me" I stated as we were looking at her. "Maybe I should just go" I said sadly. "Sian are you sure" he asked me as I sighed. "Do I even have a choice to be sure?… look after her okay" I said as he nodded looking at me while I exited the room.


	30. Chapter 30

Right so I remember back last year when i actually let you guys go to another site to finish the reading there. I had a hard time remembering why i did that. Then I reread the note and remembered. It was like a mixure of not enough time, technical isseus and being swamped with school work lol. But now that i do have everything fixed and have the time to post this, i just wanted to finish this story on here too. So you've probably already read it on cc lol (but if you haven't and just came to this remember it's a sequel). Anyways thanks for your support in the past :) (and present)

* * *

Chapter 30

**Sian pov**

Today was Christmas Eve. Me and Sophie had promised the kids we would celebrate Christmas together, so here I was trying to find an outfit for tonight. I hadn't seen Sophie since that day in the hospital…Derek was keeping me updated on how she was, but it wasn't the same. I wanted to be there with her, I didn't want her to be alone during her recovery. I sighed for the 100th time looking at myself in the mirror. I'd been such a mess these couple of weeks….Me and Laura had been trying to get back where we were. I knew I hurt her and I was paying the price. It was never my intention to hurt her… and she understood that. When I told her I was spending Christmas with Sophie you could say she was less than pleased with me, but she let it go.

One glance in that mirror made me travel back.

…

"_You look beautiful" I heard her say behind me as I saw her walking towards me in the mirror. She snaked her hands around my waist and kissed my neck. "mmmhmm" I smiled in content leaning into her. "You're gonna give your colleagues a heart attack Soph" I stated quietly as she chuckled and kissed my neck tenderly. As I heard the noise downstairs, I started getting a bit anxious; I had never met Sophie's work pals. I fiddled with my fingers as she turned me around. _

"_Hey… it's gonna be okay" she said to me as I smiled nervously looking down at the floor. She put her finger under my chin and lifted it. I sighed as I felt a lump growing in my throat. "Hey come here" she said enveloping in a hug. I breathed in her scent as she stroked my hair. "Baby is this too much for you, cause if you're feeling anxious we can just…" she started saying as I silenced her with a kiss. "If you're with me… I'll be fine" I said to her. "You sure… this is the first real party you've been to ..." she stated as I sighed once more. _

"_I know" I said sadly as she cupped my face. "I'm sorry I didn't mean it like that, I just worry" she stated looking at me intensely. "I know you do… I love you for it" I smiled at her as I kissed her again, this time more passionately. As I let my tongue graze across her mouth she started moaning quietly. "Sian babe…" she moaned as I attacked her neck letting my hand cup her breast as I pushed her against the wall. She pushed me off her gently as she smirked at me. "We don't have time for this… is this your way of postponing going to that party" She smirked as I frowned. "No.. of course not" I said sternly as I stepped away from her turning around back to the mirror. "I just got carried away" I muttered as she wrapped her arms around my shoulders from behind. "Let's go then" she stated kissing my cheek as I smiled taking her hand in mine. _

…

"Siaaaan are you ready yet" I heard Matty yell from the stairs. "Yes baby" I said to him as I put on my earrings and grabbed my purse. I headed downstairs as Chesney was holding Lily in his arms. She looked so pretty in her little green dress and her white hat and coat. "Christmas hihihihihi!" Matty started jumping up and down in his handsome clothes. "It's not Christmas yet" Chesney stated as he shrugged him off.

"Lily! Santa is coming tonight" He stated looking at his sister in full bliss. "Let's go, you're mum will be waiting" I stated as we headed outside. "How is she" I asked Chesney quietly as he smiled shyly. "She's got good and bad days, they have her on a lighter form of therapy now, cause of the surgery" he stated. "What?" I asked him bewildered. "Didn't she tell you" he asked me as I rolled my eyes at him.

"For f...Pete's sake Chesney she hasn't said a word to me since the hospital" I said to him as he shuffled awkwardly. "Sorry" he muttered as we all got into the car. "Seatbelts" I said as I looked behind me checking Lily and math as Math was grinning widely showing me he put his seatbelt on. "Good lad" I smiled at him as I started the engine.

"Sophie we're here" Chesney yelled into the home. I entered noticing our decorations we used to put up together. I never really got to put them up properly in this house… last year I had to do it on my own. I sighed at the memory. It all went downhill from there.

…

"_Soph" I smiled tenderly as she looked up at me. "Hey" she sniggered as I kissed her lips tenderly. "It's nearly Christmas" I stated as I sat on her lap shuffling her computer aside. "Yeah it is… and your birthday" she smiled at me. "And that" I said as I wrapped my arms around her shoulders. "You want to put the decorations up with me I said to her as she looked down. "What" I murmured as she sighed. "I...I have a really big deadline by the end of the week…I'm sorry baby…I" she started stuttering as I furrowed my brows. "Well you can spear an hour or 2 can't you" I asked her hopefully as she looked at me, I could see the answer in her eyes. "But we always decorate together… I …" I sighed by the end I finished my sentence. "I'm sorry" she whispered snaking her hands around me as I nodded looking down. _

"_I'll make it up to you" she stated as I diverted my gaze. "How" I couldn't help but ask as she tightened her grip on my waist. "I'll do whatever you want" she stated as I looked her in the eyes. "Will you be able to take me out on my birthday" I asked scared of the answer. "Of course I will… babe, I would never leave you by yourself on your birthday" she stated as I smiled sighing in relief. "Do you still love me" I asked seriously as her eyes widened. "Of course I do… why would you even question that" she said frowning at me. "I just… you've been a bit… distant lately, I just needed to hear it" I said honestly as she sighed hugging me tenderly. I couldn't help but hug her back, I missed the body contact. "I'm sorry… work has been stressful…I love you so much, and I never want you to feel unloved… cause I do love you" she said as I rested my head on her shoulder with her rubbing my back. _

"_I just miss you" I whispered as she sighed hugging me tightly. "I miss you too… and I will make this up to you, I promise" she stated. _

…

"Soph you in here… Sophie" Chesney shouted but no response. All of the sudden panic struck me as I ran up the stairs, fearing the worst. "Soph" I shouted breathlessly as I entered her room. She was putting on her make up with head pieces in her ears as I sighed in relief. She froze in her actions as she noticed me standing in the doorway.

….

**Sophie pov**

"Hi" I said as I saw her in the mirror. "Hi" she replied as I looked away awkwardly. I didn't really know why she was standing in my doorway. She realized my thoughts as she started talking. "You didn't answer… I got..I was scared that you might…I'm sorry" she stuttered as she started heading out. I felt guilty for worrying her. I chased after her grabbing her arm. "Wait… I'm alright" I stated as her body relaxed. "I've been doing alright" I said as she smiled. "That's good Soph" she said to me as I fixed my hair and we headed down.

"There they are" Chesney cheered as Derek stood in the hallway. "Hey Derek" I said hugging him. "How's the belly" he asked quietly. "Alright, just a bit sore" I stated as I saw Sian gaze burn into me. "Hey" she said quietly as she kissed his cheek.

"Mum" Matty screamed as he noticed my gaze. I hadn't seen him in a while, the surgery took up all my energy and I couldn't see them as often. "Hi" I sniggered as her ran over to me hugging me fiercely. "Awh I missed you… where's your sister" I asked him as he pointed to Chesney and Sian standing in the living room with Lily at their feet.

"Hey baby girl" I said as I went over to her. I wanted to crutch down but couldn't, due to my injury. Sian noticed my problem and picked Lily up, holding her up to me so I could greet her. "Mummy" she squealed kicking her legs up as I tried to hug her. I struggled as Sian was still holding on to her. "Fuck it" I thought as I wrapped my arms around them both, startling Sian a bit. "I missed you" I whispered as Sian looked at me with those 2 intense blue orbs.

…

"_Though the weather outside is frightful, but the fire is so delightful… since we got no place to go, let it snow, let it snow, let it snoooooow_" We all sang after we finished Christmas dinner. I excusedmyself from the table as I wasn't feeling so well. 2 minutes after I got to the bathroom, I heard her footsteps…those familiar footsteps. "Sian… I told you, I just needed to…" I started saying as she sat down on the bathtub. "… I just… I want to make sure you're okay" she stated as I sighed.

"Well I'm okay now so…" I huffed as she sighed quietly clutching on to a small package. "Merry Christmas Sophie" She stated as she looked at me. "It's not Christmas yet" I stated as she looked on her watch. "2 more minutes… right enough time for you to open your present" she chuckled.

…

"_Honey…. I'm really gonna time you, you know… Jesus how can you open your present this slow" Sian laughed as I slapped her arm. "I enjoy it okay" I stated as she tried to hold in her laughter. "Stop it" I mouthed as Matty started giggling making my eyes roll. "Fine laugh all you want… at least I take my time, unlike you two who tear those paper packages apart" I stated as she started chuckling. "You're right honey… I'm sorry" she stated honestly as she kissed my lips tenderly making Matty groan. "Eeeeww" he pouted as we pulled out of the kiss. _

"_You wait until you meet someone you want to kiss" Sian sniggered as Math scrunched up his face. "Nooooo never" he yammered running out of the living room leaving me and Sian on our own. "Well at least now we can kiss without gagging sounds in the background" she sniggered kissing me more passionately. "Sian" I chuckled. _

…

"Shut up" I smirked as she handed me the package. "Why didn't you just put it under the Christmas tree" I asked her. "Cause I didn't want this under the Christmas tree, I've got plenty of other gifts under there" she stated as I started unwrapping the package slowly as she held her breath. As the paper fell from the gift revealing a pillow. I quirked up an eyebrow as she smirked. "You always loved the smell of my clothes when I came back from the shop, so you wanted something that would always smell like that remember" she said to me as I looked back.

…

"_God you smell nice" I said burying my head in her neck. "I mean you already smell amazing on your own, but when you come back from the shop… Gooooood" I moaned as she raised an eyebrow. "You're almost getting turned on" She smirked as I smiled. "Well duh" I said kissing her fiercely. "Too bad I don't have that smell to remind me of you the whole day ay" I whispered in her mouth. "Well when I do you'll be the first one to know" she sniggered. _

…

"I remember" I smiled. "It smells of violets… my favorites" I stated as she sniggered. "I know" she stated. "Look at the back…" she said as I turned the pillow around revealing little texts of her, Matty, Chesney, Derek, ….

"I haven't read any of them, I wrote mine firstly so" she smiled as I started reading everything.

**I know you love this smell…  
I just wanted you to know I'd never really leave you. x Sian**

My heart fluttered when I read this as I kicked myself mentally for doing so. I kept reading and came across Matty's school handwriting.

**Hi mum, I know you're ill and that you don't always have the time to play with us, but I love you very much and so does Lily. We missed you loads after they opened up your tummy, I hope you're feeling better. We love you mum. Matty and Lily xxx**

I almost cried reading, I wanted rush down and hug them both. I sniffed as I looked at Sian. "Math" she murmured as I nodded smiling widely.

_Hey stranger… I've known you my whole life Soph and I never want to lose you. Your my best friend, stay right where you are ;) Ches' _

_**hey babes, you've given me more chances that I actually deserve, you're a good sister and I love you. Stay cool soph. Rosie xxxxxxxx**_

I chuckled as I read Rosie's handwriting. All the x's gave her away.

Hey trouble. I know you might not like my comments or smirks, but I still love ya. I know you're having a rough patch, but you'll get through this, us Saint Claire girls are strong. Kathy

I smiled as I saw Kathy words. "Us Saint Claire girls" my thoughts echoed. "It's amazing Sian" I said to her, I wanted to hug her so badly… but like always everything, the past and present held me back. "Thank you" I said as she smiled getting up. "Are you feeling better" she asked as I nodded. "Yeah… after this" I said holding out the pillow. "I'm much better" I stated as she chuckled heading down the stairs.

…

"IT'S CHRISTMAS!" Matty screamed through the house at 6am. I sighed deeply as I heard Sian's voice outside my room. "Math… what did I say about screaming, for all we know your mum was sleeping" she hissed as I smiled. "Sorry… can I wake her" he asked as I rolled my eyes. "Some things never change" I muttered. "Okay, but gently alright. No jumping on her bed, no screaming… very gently okay Math.

"Mum" he whispered entering my room as I chuckled rolling my eyes. "I'm already awake" I laughed as I got up. "It's Christmas" he said clearly holding in his squeals and excitement. "I know… why don't we all head down and open them presents ay" I sniggered as he tried to suppress his shout but couldn't hold in any longer and started jumping up and down. "Yay" he said quietly. "Just go … trouble" I said as I pushed him out of my room hearing him scream the place down. "Math…" I heard Sian started as I stopped her. "It's alright" I said to her as she smiled.

"Soph… thanks for letting me stay" she said as I shrugged. "It's better for the kids" I stated quietly as I could see her nod in the mirror. "Only the kids" she said to me. "Sian…" I sighed turning around. "What… I was just wondering if you might be happy to see me too" she muttered as I smiled mentally, but sighed anyways. "You know I am but… why are you doing this" I asked her as she looked up. "For months you pushed me away and now that I don't want this anymore, you're trying to get back into that old routine" I sighed as she nodded. "I'm sorry… I know I'm messing with your mind and it's not fair… I just… I guess I wanted you to fight for me" she stated as I sighed once more. "I did Sian" I said to her as she looked at me in hurt.

"I know you did…. I just needed a bit more time and now…you do… we really suck at timing" she stated as I chuckled, but my heart ached. "Yeah" I croaked out. "Soph… if I could take it back.." she started saying as I looked down. "I know… I just can't right now, and I'm not sure you can either… you're still hurt I can see it in your eyes" I stated as she nodded. "I know" she whispered.

"Let's just enjoy Christmas and… I don't know…" I started saying as she finished my sentence. "Move on?" she said to me as I scoffed. "That word has had it use in this relationship don't you think" I stated as she smiled shyly. "Just go on with our lives, I don't know about the future… I don't own a crystal ball, but… hhhh" I sighed.

"Muuuum, Siaaaaaaaaaaan lets go chop chop! I want to open my presents!" Math yammered stomping his feet at the bottom of the stairs as we both chuckle. "Let's go then" I stated as she followed me.


	31. Chapter 31

Chapter 31

**Sian pov**

"_Soph… no, look we have to choose alright" i said to her as she sighed. "I don't want to" she replied. "Soph" I moaned as I climbed on her lap. "Babe seriously, how are we supposed to decide which school he'll go to if you don't want to face the fact our little boy is growing up." I said to her as she gazed away. "Hey, we got another baby on the way, so you can keep that one little for another 5 years" I sniggered as she started chuckling. _

"_Fine… no school with the Saint or Claire's in it though. It's just weird if we chose a school that…." she started rambling as I kissed her. "No saint or Claire got it" I stated as she smiled at me, but disappeared. "Soph" I murmured as I looked around realizing I was in a school hall way. My school hallway. I started shuddering as I wrapped my arms around me, keeping my body warm as I noticed people running by me. "Jake" I whispered as I saw a bloke lying on the floor. _

"_Sian" I heard someone say behind me as I started shaking. "Turn around Sian" The voice said as I turned around shakily. I sighed in relief when I saw Sophie standing there. "Soph" I breathed smiling as I headed towards her. She held up a gun to me. "Sophie" I frowned. "What are you doing" I started stuttering. "You hurt me, so I'll hurt you" she said as she turned into the worst person possible. "Danny" I whispered as he was holding up the gun. The gun shot went again. _

…

I jumped waking up in my bed screaming my longs out. I was shaking and sweating trying to get my head around what just happened. I was breathing frantically as I started sobbing. "Sian" Matty peeped through the doorway. I couldn't hold in my tears. "I'm okay baby…go…go back to sleep" I stuttered over my words trying to get myself to calm down. "Why are you crying…" he said on the verge of tears. I could sense he started to get scared. "I'm okay" I squeaked out.

"Just go back to bed baby… your sister…she'll get scared if you're not there, so please go" I said trying to sound convincing but he didn't buy it. "Mum" he whispered. I got up and gave him a hug. "I just had a bad dream honey, I'll put you back to sleep" I said almost stumbling over my own two feet. "Do you want me and Lily to sleep net to you" he asked tenderly as I hesitated. I actually did want my kids with me, but I didn't want them to worry. I decided against it. "No honey… it's fine" I stated as he frowned and walked out of my room.

I woke up the next morning by the light that came through the curtains. I sighed rubbing my eyes as I remembered last night. I scared Matty, I was sure of it. I was sobbing uncontrollably and couldn't even stand properly. I mean how do you tell a kid you're fine, when they see you're obviously not. I shifted my body as I felt a pair of little feet next to mine. I quickly turned around as I saw Matty and Lily lying next to me fast asleep. I chuckled; he couldn't leave me could he. I stroked his head as his eyes started to flutter. His eyes so much like his mum looked at me straight away. "Morning" I whispered trying not to wake Lily. "Hi mum" he whispered. I knew he was still scared, he was calling me mum after all. He only did that in scary situations.

"You decided to sleep in my bed anyways" I sniggered as he shuffled awkwardly. "Yeah well… you see Lily had a nightmare and she wanted to sleep here and … like you said last night if I'm not there she gets scared and so … well actually I was scared too and .. and uhm…we went in your bed cause, cause we like it here" he rambled smiling in the end. I raised an eyebrow. "Right let's get some breakfast then ay" I said as I saw Lily stretching her arms out and looking up to me. "Momma" she muttered as I picked her up while Matty already reached the kitchen. "Hey baby… you wanna have some apples and a slice of bread" I asked her as she shook her head. "COCO PUFFS" she said looking away dreamily. "Math's rubbing off on you" I chuckled as I headed down the stairs.

….

After Derek picked them up to put them off at Sophie's I sighed. I loved having my kids with me, but since that bloody invitation, I had been on edge, having nightmares and such. I looked at the invitation that was lying on the kitchen counter.

_St. Paul's High School invites you,  
Sian Powers to join the 10 year  
reunion on 23__rd__ January at 7h30pm.  
Guests may invite a + one.  
We'll be expecting you!_

I sighed at the card. Today was the 23rd and Laura talked me into going. I never told her I got shot during the school shooting, let alone that I was one of the reasons of the school shooting. I shuddered when I thought of going back there, but I didn't want to tell Laura why. "Wish S…" I sighed midsentence. I really didn't want to do this, but I had to. I glanced at the clock and realized I had to get ready; Laura would be here in an hour.

I walked under the shower trying to let the water wash all my anxiousness away, but by the time I got out the anxiousness was still there, waiting for me to drop. I took some medication to calm my nerves as I was scared something might happen tonight. My hands were shaking as I was putting on my make-up. "For fuck sakes" I groaned as I couldn't stop my hand from shaking as I was putting on my eyeliner. I managed to hold still for only a second as I jumped up hearing the bell ring. "Fucking CHRIST!" I shouted angrily looking at the line on my cheek. I walked over to my front door and flung it open.

"Hey babes" Laura cheered as she looked at me amused. "Hey" I muttered as she put her hand on my cheek. "New fashion" she sniggered as I rolled my eyes. "No, you startled me by ringing so I …" I said as she started laughing. I groaned angrily as I rushed to the bathroom. "I'm sorry baby" she said snaking her hand around my waist from behind. She hugged me tightly as I felt a bit better, but the anxiousness was still there. I sighed deeply as she kissed the line on my cheek.

"Here let me" she said as she licked her finger tracing in on my cheek. "You know after this we could make some other things wet" she sniggered as I gulped. "Yeah… if I survive this" I muttered as she furrowed her brows. "Baby I know you're nervous, but it'll be fine. It's only a school reunion, you're not going to die or anything" she stated as I nodded. "Right well let's go then" I stated putting on my coat.

….

"Hey Sian" Someone said tapping me on the shoulder as I turned around. "Elena" I said bewildered as she smiled widely. "Hi omg, we all thought you wouldn't come" she stated as I nodded. I had rushed through the hallways, praying not to get panicked and rushed into the main room. "Yeah I know… Laura talked me into it" I said pointing at my date that was getting us drinks. "Oh cool, you're here with a mate" She said as I shook my head. I realized I wasn't out of the closet when I left here, and I suddenly felt like I was 15 again.

"Uhm…. no she's my date actually" I stated as Elena furrowed her brows. "You're…" she started saying as I answered quickly. "Yeah… I am" I smiled. "Well… you look great you know, and it's great you found someone" she smiled as I smiled back at her. "Thank you" I said sincerely. "So how have you been, I heard that after the shooting you had some counseling and stuff…. I'm really sorry you know about what happened" she said honestly as I smiled shyly. "It's alright… the counseling wasn't so bad, I actually met my wife there so" I chuckled as Elena raised her eyebrows. "Hold on, you're married. When you said she was your date, I didn't realize you were married…" she started rambling as I stopped her. "NO…uhm… no, she's not my wife…I…uhm, I'm separated with her…we …" I stuttered. "Great laying all your shit on the table, good way to start of a convo Sian" I thought as I saw Elena smile.

"It's complicated… I get it… so you got any kids" she asked as I nodded. "Yeah I got two actually, an 8 year old boy and 2 year old girl" I sniggered. "How about you" I asked her genuinely interested. "Well I haven't got any yet, but I _am_ pregnant" she smiled widely as I laughed. "Congratulations" I cheered as Laura was back at my side handing me my drink. "Here you go babe" she stated as I thanked her.

"Laura this is an old school mate of mine Elena" I stated as they shook hands. "Alright well it was nice talking to you Sian, but my husband is in some kind of trouble again" she chuckled as she waved off. "Good friend" Laura murmured. "Yeah alright" I muttered not noticing someone enter the main room. My breath caught in my throat when I saw Jake entering the room. He was the one that tried to save me.

…

"_Sian" I heard someone hiss as I tried to scream when I felt someone grab my foot. "Ssssshhh it's only me" the voice said as I looked down. "Jake" I whimpered being dragged under the table as he hugged me. "He's after me, this is all because of me" I said as he grip tightened. "Look he's the psycho running around with a gun in his hands okay, none of this is your fault" he stated as we both heard footsteps. We held our breath when we saw the pair of green sneakers stop at the table. I started crying as I put both of my hands on my mouth, trying to muffle my sobs. "Here kitty kitty kitty" Danny sang as Jake stood up. "Jake" I whispered as he pushed me to the back of the table. _

"_Hey Dan" he said as Danny stopped in his tracks. "Do you know where she is" he hissed. "Come on Danny you don't want to do this" he reasoned with him. "You don't know what it's like, you're friends with everyone, even that bitch Powers" he spat. _

…

"Laur..I" I started stuttering. The more Jake got closer to me the more my throat started clamping shut. "Sian are you okay" Laura muttered as I felt the tears prickling behind my eyes. "Sian…" Jake murmured wheeling his wheelchair to my side as I swallowed hard. "I'm sorry" I croaked out running out of the main room only to end up in a worse place. The hallways gave me all my emotions back, all the panic I tried to erase for years came rushing back to me. I tried to breath but couldn't. I knew what was happening. I glided down the wall as Laura rushed to my side. "Sian what's happening…babe what's wrong" she said as I tears rolled down my cheeks. "Can't…can't…breath" I mouthed but she didn't get till I put my hand on my chest as the attack was getting worse. "Sian" she said holding on to my shoulders as I whimpered.

She pulled out her phone and typed in a number. "I'm gonna get some help alright" she stated. "Fuck sakes, they put me on fucking hold" she stated after a couple of minutes.

…

**Sophie pov**

"Hey guys" I said welcoming them back from Sian's. It had been two months since the surgery and I had been doing much better. The cancer had reduced to almost nothing so I was in full bliss. "Hi mum" Math cheered as I picked up Lily who was almost sleeping. "Hey goldie, you sleepy hun" I said as she put her head on my shoulder. "Seems so" I stated going in to the living room.

"She didn't sleep so well, I woke her up in the night" Matty said nonchalantly. "What? Why" I frowned as he shrugged. "I wanted to sleep in Sian's bed" he stated as my confusion grew. "And why was that" I said putting my hands on my hips. Matty heaved his shoulders up to his ears and stayed silent. "Math when you start something you have to finish it, now come on tell me why did you have to sleep by Sian's side" I asked him crutching down on his level. "I was scared" he stated as I furrowed my brows. "Of what baby" I asked him tenderly as he sighed. "Of Sian … she screamed, and I thought she was… and when I saw her she was crying and I didn't want her to be alone, and she was shaking and so I woke Lily and…" he started rambling nervously as I realized Sian had a nightmare and Math caught her.

"It's alright Math" I said to him as he stopped talking. "Mum… does she do that a lot" he asked me as I sighed. "She used to" I answered truthfully as he frowned. "What is it, what happened to her…" he started asking as I closed my eyes. "I'll tell you when you're older" I said as I he sulked going over to the couch.  
…

"Hello" I said groggily as I answered the phone. "Sophie" I heard a shaky voice at the other end. "Who is this" I asked as she answered. "It's Laura".

"Why are you calling me" I said a bit annoyed to who was on the other end. "It's Sian, something's wrong, I don't know what to do… I don't know what's happening" she ranted as I shot my head up from the couch. "What" I said nervously. "We're at her school reunion and she collapsed, well she's I don't know, she's not answering me but she has her eyes wide open and the emergence's put me on hold. Tell me what to do, god.." she ranted as I got up.

"Give me the address of the school" I stated.

Chapter 32

**Sophie pov**

"School reunion. Meaning the school Sian got shot at? Why would she go there, she wouldn't be able to stand it, my god… can this traffic go any slower" my thoughts were rambling as I finally reached the school yard. It seemed an old school. I sighed deeply.

…

_I felt some feet kicking me as I woke up. "What… what, what's wrong?" I mumbled. I jolted up as I saw Sian crying in the corner of our bed. "Sian? Omg baby what's wrong" I said as I shuffled over her, pulling her into me. She sobbed uncontrollably in my chest as I tried to sooth her. "Was it another nightmare" I asked her as she shook her head making me frown. "What happened then" I asked her bewildered. _

"_It's so stupid" she stated as I stroked her hair. "Honey… just tell me what it is" I whispered to her as she sniffed. "I just got so scared, and I almost had a pani… fuck" she whimpered as I hugged her tightly. "What? Why were you so scared… baby just tell me" I murmured as she looked up at me. "I…I..I heard some stumbling downstairs" she stated as I furrowed my brows. _

"_You heard a noise coming from downstairs" I murmured frowning looking at my door. "It stopped though Soph, it was probably nothing and I freaked out and now woken you for nothing" she cried letting some sobs interrupt her sentence. "Hey hey… look I'll go see if there's anything wrong downstairs alright" I kissed her head as she stayed frozen into place. _

_I went down the stairs and looked everywhere founding the cat had knocked over some brume sticks. I sighed chuckling as I went back upstairs. "And" she asked fearful as I reentered the room. "Honey it was the cat knocking over some brumes, everything is fine" I said stroking her cheek as she sighed. "Told you I was being stupid" she said her tears still rolling down her cheek. "Stop talking about my wife like that" I sniggered pulling her into a hug. "Sorry" she sniffed as I kissed her neck. I tried to pull out of the hug but she kept me there. "Keep holding me…please, it's soothing" she breathed as I smiled pulling her into my chest as we lay down. "I'll never let go babe" I said kissing her head. _

…

"Sophie" I heard someone yell as I saw Laura run towards me. "Thank god you're here, I don't know what's happening or what's wrong with her" she started babbling as I cut her off. "Where is she" I said sounding annoyed. "Uhm… in the hallway.. she.." she started stuttering as i widened my eyes. "You left her in the hallway, do you have any idea what went on…" I said angrily rushing inside. "Well no… why what's so.." she started saying as we arrived at Sian's side. She was in bad shape, I recognized the signs immediately. She was having a panic attack. "Sian" I said quietly crutching in front of her. Her whole body was shaking as she was sobbing quietly with her head buried in her knees.

"Sian look at me" I said putting my hands on her knees as I made her flinch. "Babe it's me" I whispered getting closer to her. "Don't" she yelped as she started panting frantically. "SIAN" I said sternly, I needed her to look at me. I cupped her face as her breathing go more difficult. I pulled her face up to mine and rested my forehead against hers. "Look at me…it's me Sophie" I said to her as she fluttered her eyes. "Soph" she said looking straight at me. "That's it babe… just look into my eyes. Don't think about anything, just look into my eyes and breath" I stated as she kept looking into mine her breathing calmed after 5 minutes and she started crying.

"It's okay, you're safe" I said pulling her into me. "Soph" she whimpered as stroked her hair. "It's okay… no one's gonna hurt you" I whispered making her cuddle into me. "Soph please take me home" she whimpered as I nodded. "Come on" I said wrapping my arms around her back and under her legs lifting her up. "Let's go" I said walking away with Sian in my arms. I had gotten so much better lately, I had gone to the gym making me more fit than ever. She wrapped her arms around my neck and let her head rest in the crook of my neck. "Sophie wait" Laura said angrily as I put Sian in the seat of my car.

"What" I hissed as she frowned. "Aren't you gonna take me with you" she asked as I raised an eyebrow. "No" I said bluntly. "At least tell me what's going on" she said annoyingly as I frowned. "I don't need to tell you anything, now I'm gonna go cause _my wife_ isn't feeling well" I said to her. I knew I had no right calling Sian my wife, the divorce was almost finalized. But Laura made me so angry.

…

"Okay come on" I said to her as we entered the house. "Take off your coat" I said as she did so. "I'm so sorry Soph, I'm so useless… I can never get this right…" she started rambling as I held onto her shoulders. "I thought you were done putting yourself down years ago" I said to her stroking her cheek. "I'm sorry" she started sobbing again. I needed to find a way to calm her down. "Suppose I could try the old ritual" I thought going through my cupboards. "Sit on the counter" I ordered as she did so. "Okay here we go the old recipe" I said handing her a bar of chocolate as I was making some tea.

She was biting on the chocolate eagerly like Matty would do as I put the jasmine tea next to her. "Slow down" I said gently as she slowed her pace. "Thank you" she mumbled as she took a sip of tea. "Too bad something's missing in your recipe ay" she said cheekily seeming much more calm then before, but still a bit jumpy. "Yeah…" I said as I hugged her tightly the usual recipe was: chocolate, jasmine, tea + kiss and cuddle. I breathed in her smell as I felt her body relax.

"What were you thinking of, going back there" I asked bewildered as she looked down at the floor. "I don't know… I never told Laura anything about before… she doesn't even know about St. Claire's" she stated as I frowned. "And why is that" I asked her as she shrugged. "She wanted to go … see my old _friends_" she scoffed as I closed my eyes. "The minute I saw Jake though… I" she started breathing irregularly again as her eyes started watering.

"Hey hey… it's okay shhhhh" I said holding her tight. "Keep munching on that chocolate okay" I said as I rested my forehead against hers. "Yeah" she said as her voice broke.

"Mum" I heard Matty come down the stairs as sighed. "Go back to bed Math… and you too Lily, don't think I can't see you both there" I said sternly as he furrowed his brows. His gaze changed the minute he saw Sian sitting on the counter. "Sian… momma" they both squealed. I could see Sian was struggling again as tears started rolling down. "Sian" Matty frowned. "What's wrong" he asked as I pushed him towards the stairs.

"Take your sister upstairs Math, you're mum is just a bit shaken okay" I said to him as he looked at me attentively. "Like she used to" he asked gently as I nodded. "Go to bed" I said to them as they crawled up the stairs and Sian burst out in tears. "I can't even face my own kids when I'm like this" she cried as shook my head. "Look… stop… you had a panic attack and you're still… shaky… baby you just went back to the school where you got shot. You're allowed a minor break down" I said to her as she sniffed and looked at me curiously.

"What?" I asked as she got off the counter. "You called me baby" she stated as I felt very self conscious. "I did" I said nervously as she sighed getting closer to me. "Sian…" I started saying as she cut me off by closing the gap between us. I was surprised at first but I kissed her back. She put her hands behind my neck pulling me closer. She moaned as I wrapped my arms around her waist. She started to kiss me more frantically as I realized what she was doing. "Sian" I mumbled in between kisses as she pushed me onto the couch straddling me. "Sian.." I said again as she attacked my neck. I got a bit angry and pushed her off. "SIAN" I said sternly as she looked up at me, her eyes full of hurt and fear.

"Stop" I said tenderly. "You don't want this" I stated as she sat back. "How would you know" she said scoffing at me. "Because like I said you just had a panic attack, you're an emotional wreck okay… I don't want to do this with you right now" I said to her. "I'm sorry" she stated honestly.

….

"Here you go" I said tugging her into my bed. I wanted her to sleep well, so I was going to take the spare room. "You need to sleep now okay" I said to her as I kissed her forehead. I was about to get out of the room as she jolted out of bed. "Wait… don't leave me alone… please….please stay with me Soph" she pleaded with me. "Please I'll sleep on the ground or whatever you want just please stay with me tonight" she whimpered as I sighed. "Sian.." I said hesitating. She was pleading me with her eyes. Those eyes that seemed so scared. "Please" she whispered as I closed my eyes nodding.

"I'll just go brush my teeth okay" I said as I exited the room making my way to the bathroom. I brushed my teeth and changed into a pair of bottoms and top as I went back to my room. She was still sitting up in bed as she saw reappear. "Goodnight Sian" I said getting under the covers as did she. I started closing my eyes as I heard her sob. I turned around and watched her cry. "Sian" I couldn't handle seeing her like this, it was killing me inside.

"It's okay… you're safe" I said to her as I wrapped my arms around her. She looked up at me, tears clouding her vision. "I should never have slept with Laura… I hurt you so much… I was so hurt and I wanted to hurt you back and I know that was wrong of me…" she started sobbing as I held her tighter. "Shhhh don't" I said to her as she cried. "I should never have let you let me go….Soph… I don't want to get a divorce" she said honestly as I closed my eyes feeling the lump in my throat getting bigger.

"Sian" I whimpered. "I love you" she said as I let a tear fall. "I love you too" I stated kissing her lips as she cried herself to sleep.

…

I woke up with my arms draped around Sian from behind as the daylight shined trough my red curtains colouring the room orange-red. Her golden locks were spread around my pillow as her body was completely fitting in mine. I found myself breathing in her smell. I couldn't help it, I tightened my grip on her waist and snuggled my face in her neck. I felt her body shift a bit.

"Are you awake" I whispered as she nodded her hands still on mine. She leaned into me as her grip on my hand got tighter. "What time is it" she asked me as I looked over my shoulder. "6am" I answered. "Okay if we just lay here… for a bit" she murmured as I sighed. "Yeah… for a bit" I said her smell making me drift off into peaceful bliss.

….

"MUUUUM" I heard as I jolted up my head. I fluttered my eyes as I saw Matty standing there smirking at me. "What is it" I said groggily realizing I still had my arm draped around Sian's waist. I widened my eyes as I saw him smiling at us. "Can you ask Sian if she wants to make pancakes when she wakes up" he stated as I frowned. "Thanks" he said as he waltzed out of the room.

"Did you hear" I said turning to Sian as she shifted. "Yeah" she stated nervously.


	32. Chapter 32

Chapter 32

**Sophie pov**

"School reunion. Meaning the school Sian got shot at? Why would she go there, she wouldn't be able to stand it, my god… can this traffic go any slower" my thoughts were rambling as I finally reached the school yard. It seemed an old school. I sighed deeply.

…

_I felt some feet kicking me as I woke up. "What… what, what's wrong?" I mumbled. I jolted up as I saw Sian crying in the corner of our bed. "Sian? Omg baby what's wrong" I said as I shuffled over her, pulling her into me. She sobbed uncontrollably in my chest as I tried to sooth her. "Was it another nightmare" I asked her as she shook her head making me frown. "What happened then" I asked her bewildered. _

"_It's so stupid" she stated as I stroked her hair. "Honey… just tell me what it is" I whispered to her as she sniffed. "I just got so scared, and I almost had a pani… fuck" she whimpered as I hugged her tightly. "What? Why were you so scared… baby just tell me" I murmured as she looked up at me. "I…I..I heard some stumbling downstairs" she stated as I furrowed my brows. _

"_You heard a noise coming from downstairs" I murmured frowning looking at my door. "It stopped though Soph, it was probably nothing and I freaked out and now woken you for nothing" she cried letting some sobs interrupt her sentence. "Hey hey… look I'll go see if there's anything wrong downstairs alright" I kissed her head as she stayed frozen into place. _

_I went down the stairs and looked everywhere founding the cat had knocked over some brume sticks. I sighed chuckling as I went back upstairs. "And" she asked fearful as I reentered the room. "Honey it was the cat knocking over some brumes, everything is fine" I said stroking her cheek as she sighed. "Told you I was being stupid" she said her tears still rolling down her cheek. "Stop talking about my wife like that" I sniggered pulling her into a hug. "Sorry" she sniffed as I kissed her neck. I tried to pull out of the hug but she kept me there. "Keep holding me…please, it's soothing" she breathed as I smiled pulling her into my chest as we lay down. "I'll never let go babe" I said kissing her head. _

…

"Sophie" I heard someone yell as I saw Laura run towards me. "Thank god you're here, I don't know what's happening or what's wrong with her" she started babbling as I cut her off. "Where is she" I said sounding annoyed. "Uhm… in the hallway.. she.." she started stuttering as i widened my eyes. "You left her in the hallway, do you have any idea what went on…" I said angrily rushing inside. "Well no… why what's so.." she started saying as we arrived at Sian's side. She was in bad shape, I recognized the signs immediately. She was having a panic attack. "Sian" I said quietly crutching in front of her. Her whole body was shaking as she was sobbing quietly with her head buried in her knees.

"Sian look at me" I said putting my hands on her knees as I made her flinch. "Babe it's me" I whispered getting closer to her. "Don't" she yelped as she started panting frantically. "SIAN" I said sternly, I needed her to look at me. I cupped her face as her breathing go more difficult. I pulled her face up to mine and rested my forehead against hers. "Look at me…it's me Sophie" I said to her as she fluttered her eyes. "Soph" she said looking straight at me. "That's it babe… just look into my eyes. Don't think about anything, just look into my eyes and breath" I stated as she kept looking into mine her breathing calmed after 5 minutes and she started crying.

"It's okay, you're safe" I said pulling her into me. "Soph" she whimpered as stroked her hair. "It's okay… no one's gonna hurt you" I whispered making her cuddle into me. "Soph please take me home" she whimpered as I nodded. "Come on" I said wrapping my arms around her back and under her legs lifting her up. "Let's go" I said walking away with Sian in my arms. I had gotten so much better lately, I had gone to the gym making me more fit than ever. She wrapped her arms around my neck and let her head rest in the crook of my neck. "Sophie wait" Laura said angrily as I put Sian in the seat of my car.

"What" I hissed as she frowned. "Aren't you gonna take me with you" she asked as I raised an eyebrow. "No" I said bluntly. "At least tell me what's going on" she said annoyingly as I frowned. "I don't need to tell you anything, now I'm gonna go cause _my wife_ isn't feeling well" I said to her. I knew I had no right calling Sian my wife, the divorce was almost finalized. But Laura made me so angry.

…

"Okay come on" I said to her as we entered the house. "Take off your coat" I said as she did so. "I'm so sorry Soph, I'm so useless… I can never get this right…" she started rambling as I held onto her shoulders. "I thought you were done putting yourself down years ago" I said to her stroking her cheek. "I'm sorry" she started sobbing again. I needed to find a way to calm her down. "Suppose I could try the old ritual" I thought going through my cupboards. "Sit on the counter" I ordered as she did so. "Okay here we go the old recipe" I said handing her a bar of chocolate as I was making some tea.

She was biting on the chocolate eagerly like Matty would do as I put the jasmine tea next to her. "Slow down" I said gently as she slowed her pace. "Thank you" she mumbled as she took a sip of tea. "Too bad something's missing in your recipe ay" she said cheekily seeming much more calm then before, but still a bit jumpy. "Yeah…" I said as I hugged her tightly the usual recipe was: chocolate, jasmine, tea + kiss and cuddle. I breathed in her smell as I felt her body relax.

"What were you thinking of, going back there" I asked bewildered as she looked down at the floor. "I don't know… I never told Laura anything about before… she doesn't even know about St. Claire's" she stated as I frowned. "And why is that" I asked her as she shrugged. "She wanted to go … see my old _friends_" she scoffed as I closed my eyes. "The minute I saw Jake though… I" she started breathing irregularly again as her eyes started watering.

"Hey hey… it's okay shhhhh" I said holding her tight. "Keep munching on that chocolate okay" I said as I rested my forehead against hers. "Yeah" she said as her voice broke.

"Mum" I heard Matty come down the stairs as sighed. "Go back to bed Math… and you too Lily, don't think I can't see you both there" I said sternly as he furrowed his brows. His gaze changed the minute he saw Sian sitting on the counter. "Sian… momma" they both squealed. I could see Sian was struggling again as tears started rolling down. "Sian" Matty frowned. "What's wrong" he asked as I pushed him towards the stairs.

"Take your sister upstairs Math, you're mum is just a bit shaken okay" I said to him as he looked at me attentively. "Like she used to" he asked gently as I nodded. "Go to bed" I said to them as they crawled up the stairs and Sian burst out in tears. "I can't even face my own kids when I'm like this" she cried as shook my head. "Look… stop… you had a panic attack and you're still… shaky… baby you just went back to the school where you got shot. You're allowed a minor break down" I said to her as she sniffed and looked at me curiously.

"What?" I asked as she got off the counter. "You called me baby" she stated as I felt very self conscious. "I did" I said nervously as she sighed getting closer to me. "Sian…" I started saying as she cut me off by closing the gap between us. I was surprised at first but I kissed her back. She put her hands behind my neck pulling me closer. She moaned as I wrapped my arms around her waist. She started to kiss me more frantically as I realized what she was doing. "Sian" I mumbled in between kisses as she pushed me onto the couch straddling me. "Sian.." I said again as she attacked my neck. I got a bit angry and pushed her off. "SIAN" I said sternly as she looked up at me, her eyes full of hurt and fear.

"Stop" I said tenderly. "You don't want this" I stated as she sat back. "How would you know" she said scoffing at me. "Because like I said you just had a panic attack, you're an emotional wreck okay… I don't want to do this with you right now" I said to her. "I'm sorry" she stated honestly.

….

"Here you go" I said tugging her into my bed. I wanted her to sleep well, so I was going to take the spare room. "You need to sleep now okay" I said to her as I kissed her forehead. I was about to get out of the room as she jolted out of bed. "Wait… don't leave me alone… please….please stay with me Soph" she pleaded with me. "Please I'll sleep on the ground or whatever you want just please stay with me tonight" she whimpered as I sighed. "Sian.." I said hesitating. She was pleading me with her eyes. Those eyes that seemed so scared. "Please" she whispered as I closed my eyes nodding.

"I'll just go brush my teeth okay" I said as I exited the room making my way to the bathroom. I brushed my teeth and changed into a pair of bottoms and top as I went back to my room. She was still sitting up in bed as she saw reappear. "Goodnight Sian" I said getting under the covers as did she. I started closing my eyes as I heard her sob. I turned around and watched her cry. "Sian" I couldn't handle seeing her like this, it was killing me inside.

"It's okay… you're safe" I said to her as I wrapped my arms around her. She looked up at me, tears clouding her vision. "I should never have slept with Laura… I hurt you so much… I was so hurt and I wanted to hurt you back and I know that was wrong of me…" she started sobbing as I held her tighter. "Shhhh don't" I said to her as she cried. "I should never have let you let me go….Soph… I don't want to get a divorce" she said honestly as I closed my eyes feeling the lump in my throat getting bigger.

"Sian" I whimpered. "I love you" she said as I let a tear fall. "I love you too" I stated kissing her lips as she cried herself to sleep.

…

I woke up with my arms draped around Sian from behind as the daylight shined trough my red curtains colouring the room orange-red. Her golden locks were spread around my pillow as her body was completely fitting in mine. I found myself breathing in her smell. I couldn't help it, I tightened my grip on her waist and snuggled my face in her neck. I felt her body shift a bit.

"Are you awake" I whispered as she nodded her hands still on mine. She leaned into me as her grip on my hand got tighter. "What time is it" she asked me as I looked over my shoulder. "6am" I answered. "Okay if we just lay here… for a bit" she murmured as I sighed. "Yeah… for a bit" I said her smell making me drift off into peaceful bliss.

….

"MUUUUM" I heard as I jolted up my head. I fluttered my eyes as I saw Matty standing there smirking at me. "What is it" I said groggily realizing I still had my arm draped around Sian's waist. I widened my eyes as I saw him smiling at us. "Can you ask Sian if she wants to make pancakes when she wakes up" he stated as I frowned. "Thanks" he said as he waltzed out of the room.

"Did you hear" I said turning to Sian as she shifted. "Yeah" she stated nervously.


	33. Chapter 33

Chapter 33

**Sian pov**

I shifted my body facing her as she looked at me, her gaze burning through my eyes. "I suppose i should get started on those pancakes hu" I said trying to sound nonchalantly. "Yeah" she croaked out. I got up heading for the front door. "Sian...I..." Sophie started stuttering as I sighed. "I know..." I said looking at the side of the bed where I just slept in her arms. That side where I said all those things to her last night.

"Can we talk later" I asked her as she seemed a bit relieved and nodded. "We were going to talk about last night Soph... I wouldn't just avoid that" I stated as she nodded. "Yeah it's just... you've done it before and I just got..." she started stuttering as she sighed in the end looking at me like a lost child. "I know but not anymore okay" I said to her as i headed for the door.

I headed down the stairs finding Math and Lily sitting at the kitchen table. "Hi guys" I said nervously as I gave them both a kiss on the head. "Nice night" Matty asked me as I widened my eyes. "Uhm well... it was fine Math" I answered nervously as he smiled widely, looking at me; watching my every move. "Alright who wants pancakes" I asked making them cheer.

"I do" I heard a voice at the bottom of the stairs say. Sophie looked at me happily as she was wearing that oh so infamous night gown of hers.

…

_"BABE! Where is the milk" I asked peeking my head out of the fridge. "Sophie" I shouted but no response. I frowned as I saw her shaking her bum to some music she was playing on her iPod. I also saw the empty brick of milk resting on the table next to a glass tainted with white liquid inside. I sighed annoyed. She had done it again, every time I was making pancakes the woman would steal my milk, it's like she didn't want me to make any. _

_"Sophie" I said annoyingly as I took out her earpieces. "Hey" she said startled as she started smiling at me. "What" she said noticing I was frowning. I eventually turned my gaze to the empty brick and raised an eyebrow. "You didn't need that for the pancakes did you?" she said trying to act all innocent. "SOPHIE" I said annoyed as she started giggling running away from me. _

_"You're so gonna get it" I said chasing her with the kitchen towel slapping her bum every time I got the chance. "Stop stop stop..Im...Im sorry" she said breathlessly after I finally caught up with her and pushed her to the ground tickling her sides. I pinned her arms to the floor making her body heave. "What do I get if i forgive you... I mean thieves have to be punished" I said cheekily. "Thieve? I took it from my own fridge and..." she started saying as I leaned down hovering above her lips. "And...it was MY milk for MY pancakes" I said entwining our fingers. _

_"So what do you have to say for yourself Miss Webster" I asked her as she looked at me her eyes getting darker. "I like a feisty Sian" she said making me grin, my grip on her hands getting tighter as her breathing got heavier. "So...again what do I get to do with you" I grinned whispering in her mouth. _

_"Anything" she said pushing her lips on mine untangling her hands from mine as they ended circling my waist. I cupped her face trying to get as much contact as possible. "Soph" I moaned as her hand travelled to my bum cupping it._ I kissed her again passionately as we got interrupted _by someone knocking on the door. We broke our heated make out session as Sophie looked at me curiously. "We expecting anyone" She asked me as i shook my head. "Then who the hell is disrupting me and my future wife" She said making me grin. "I love it when you use that word" I said beaming at her as she pecked my lips. _

_Sophie opened the door and our caterer waltzed through the door. "Uhm ... hi Wallace... I'm sorry did we make an appointment today or summit" Sophie said sounding annoyed. God I wanted to rip that nightgown off of her. She gotten me so worked up I couldn't keep the urge down. Wallace started explaining why he was at our place. I was so focused on Sophie that I didn't even hear what Wallace was saying. _

_The minute Wallace turned his back I rushed to Sophie kissing her neck making her moan quietly. I was starting to take the nightgown off of her. "Sian behave." she moaned as I snaked my arms around her waist. "So the chocolate one will be tasted on Tuesday, now I have to tell you about this one, the cream and chocolate they use are special because they don't use any sugars they use honey..." he said waltzing back into our kitchen as I detached myself from Sophie breathless. I traced my fingers on her sides under the counter as she was shooting daggers at me but at the same time i could see in her eyes she was enjoying the way I was touching her. _

_"Stop it" She mouthed as I shrugged innocently. "What" I whispered. "Sian" she warned as I got closer to her. "Wallace do you mind if we have this conversation later today" Sophie said to him making me smile a bit. "Of course Miss. Webster...Miss Powers" he said almost rolling his eyes. The minute he left Sophie cornered me. "Do you have any idea how annoying you are" she said right before she kissed me passionately. _

...

**Sophie pov**

"Hi you mind if I..." I said sneaking my head through the door opening. "No go right ahead... I uhm... I was just finishing up here" Sian said as I entered the room.

"I just came by to show you something" I said handing her the divorce papers. "You don't have to show me this, I have my own copy" she said coldly. It was like a stab in my stomach. "No...look ... I signed, now it's up to you" I said to her as she looked at me wide-eyed. "What?" she voiced as she started frowning.

"Don't give me that Sophie! It's not just up to me... I need you to tell me if this is going to be okay for you too... do you want this? Cause if you do I'll sign it" she said angrily taking the papers off of me as I furrowed my eyebrows. "Sian...ughh for fuck sakes, can we talk about this without one of us getting angry or upset" I said annoyed as she sighed.

"Okay... tell me" she said to me as I furrowed my brows. "Tell you...what exactly" I asked her as she looked up at me. "Everything... what hurt you in the last couple of months..." she said making her nod.

"I'm not sure where to start Sian" I said to her. "Beginning is always a good place to start" she stated as I chuckled. "What if I'm not sure where it all began" I said looking into her sad eyes.

"I..Sian when we first got together and got married... I couldn't see anything but you" I started slowly as she nodded. "God I loved you so much and when I got that job, I was thrilled I always wanted to travel and stuff" I stated as she looked at me curiously furrowing her eyebrows.

"I know I wanted that for you too" she said to me as I sighed. "Sian... I didn't want to go anymore, because of you... I wanted to stay home and..." I sighed at the end of my sentence. "So what last year was you resenting for wanting to stay home with me, oh well cheers Soph" she huffed as I groaned ruffling my hair. "Last year was a mistake...i never stopped loving you, you need to know that okay. I just got so stressed and...I know that's no excuse but...ughhh" I couldn't get my words right.

"Look we both know what happened last year...I just want to know bout now. I need you to tell me how you feel now Sophie" she stated making me sigh. I sat down next to her on the bed and looked at her. "I feel... tired...we hurt each other so much. You slept with her Sian... you actually slept with someone that wasn't me" I stated hurt looking at her noticing the upcoming tears in her eyes. "I know...I know that and I'm sorry" she whimpered as I continued.

"After the cancer happened... Sian I thought I was going to die and I knew I screwed up with you...I couldn't face you, face the one thing I truly wanted" I stated as she nodded. "Especially after the wedding" I said making her look away. "And then your girlfriend telling me you slept together... that was just the final drop... I was so sick and tired of everything Sian and I just didn't have the strength in me anymore to fight that battle on my own." I said as she nodded again.

"What bout you" I said to her as she breathed in shakily. "Tell me what you're feeling" I said to her as she looked down.

"I feel scared and ashamed" she said honestly as I sighed. "Sian, I know I hurt you but I if could take it all back I would" I stated as she chuckled. "You keep saying that but... you can't can you... Soph I loved you so much and still do and because of that I nearly lost myself in our relationship. I wasn't a wife anymore, I was your punching bag, your made, your babysitter I was everything but your wife... I just got up to a point where I couldn't handle it anymore." She said to me as I nodded.

"I fell apart the night you left" I said honestly as she looked at me and sighed. "I needed to Sophie, I couldn't live like that anymore" she stated. "I know" I replied fiddling with the bedcovers.

...

_The rain was pouring down on me. "What an appropriate weather for my mood" I thought as tears were still streaming down my cheeks. I was walking over to Derek's house, even though it was 3 miles I needed to clear my head. I couldn't drive in this state. _

_As I got to Derek's house I was soaked to the bone. I knocked on the door praying he would let me in. _

"_Sophie" Derek said opening the door. "She did it didn't she" he stated as I collapsed to the floor sobbing. "Jesus Sophie you're soaked" he said as he wrapped his arms around me. "She left me... Derek she left me... what am I gonna do? I can't … no I won't live without her" I sobbed as he sighed putting a blanket around my shoulders as he put me on the couch. _

"_Soph... you can't really... I mean you know why right" he asked me as I shrugged sadly. "Yeah I think I... SHIT" I screamed as he sat in front of me. "Okay look... she might cool off okay... at least she knocked some sense into ya" he said as I continued sobbing. "Sophie I don't get it... why have you been treating her like this, she's been crying on my shoulder for months…I honestly thought you didn't love her anymore but look at you. You're a mess Sophie" he stated as I put my head in my hands. _

"_I know... oh GOD, I can't believe I was so blind. Of course she left me, I treated her like shit, god she thinks I don't love her... SHIT" I cried as he came closer to me. "So you do... you do still love her then" He asked me as I nodded. "Of course I do, more than anything" I stated making him sigh. "Then why treat her and your kids like that" he asked me. "I don't know... I made a mistake...I'm sorry" I cried desperately as he wrapped his arms around me. "You made more than one mistake Soph but and it's not to me you should be apologizing...look you can stay here tonight okay" he said to me as I nodded. _

…

"When" I asked her as she frowned at me. "When did I lose you... I've been cracking my head open over it... I had treated you like shit for months, I know that...but a couple days before you left we made love Sian... I thought you and I were better" I asked her as she started crying.


	34. Chapter 34

Chapter 34

**Sophie pov**

"Made love" she scoffed.

_..._

"_Hey you're home early" Sian said as she was making dinner after I walked through the door. "Yeah" I smiled. I didn't have so much work tonight, so I thought I'd spoil her a bit since we had been going through a rough patch. I walked up behind her and snaked my arms around her startling her "What you doing" she said as I kissed her shoulder. "Uhm hugging my wife do you mind" I chuckled as she turned around frowning at me. _

"_No of course not" She said as she turned around shakily. "Uhm... so how…uhm was work" she stuttered as I nodded. "Mhhhm was fine" I smiled making her frown even more. "Here let me" I said as she was chopping up some vegetables. "Don't you have work" she asked curiously. "Not that much no" I said as she nodded. "Right" she muttered as Matty rushed into the living room with my baby girl in his arms. "Hi guys" I said as Matty frowned but smiled eventually. "Hi mum" he said kissing me on the cheek as I kissed Lily on the forehead. _

"_What you up to ay" I asked him as the doorbell went. "YAY" he whispered making me chuckle. I opened the door as Derek got into the room. "Hey Derek" I said happily as he smiled at me . "You guys ready" Derek beamed as Math nodded eagerly. "They're going" I said curiously looking at Sian. _

"_Yeah he wanted to try the new Wii player and I thought it'd be a nice trip for Lily too" Sian stated as I nodded. "Oh right" I said as I smiled at my two kids. "Okay guys well have fun" I smiled as they went out of the door. "Why didn't you tell me they were going" I asked her as she shrugged. "Didn't think you would mind" she said nonchalantly. "What? Of course I wouldn't mind I just would've liked to know that's all." I said to her as she turned around. "Okay….I'm sorry" she muttered as I furrowed my eyebrows and sighed. _

"_Babe" I said as she was stirring in the pot. "Sian" I said making her turn around and look at me. "What" she asked shrugging as I closed the gap between us letting my lips brush against hers. "I love you" I said breaking the kiss as her blue orbs looked at me so intensely. "I love you too" she croaked out as a sigh of relief. "How's the shop" I asked her as she seemed so confused. "Well…uhm great…it's doing great" she stated as I smiled. "Good" I replied as she sighed. "Did something happen at work" she asked bewildered. "No not really" I replied making her shake her head. _

"_Right" she said as she put the pot off the fire. "Dinner's ready" she stated looking at me as I smiled. "Great…it's smells amazing baby" I said as she gave me another confused look. I was starting to get annoyed at the confusion in her eyes but decided to leave it._

"_Hey guess what" I said to her as she looked up. "What" she smiled shyly. "I'm getting some time off in a month" I said to her as her face lit up. "Are you serious" she asked me. "Wait what's the catch you haven't had a day of or wanted to have one for a year now…" she asked me as I shifted in my seat playing with the pies on my plate. _

"_I have to do a foreign job after" I stated as Sian's face fell. "Oh… right… well don't let me stop you" she said clearing off her plate. "Sian it'll only be for a couple of weeks" I said to her as she nodded. "I know" she answered as I took hold of her arm. "Babe… look if you don't want me to go I won't okay" I said to her as she scoffed at me. "And what so you can resent me for it… no… please Sophie go! Go on your stupid foreign job" she said putting the plate in the dishwasher. _

"_Why are you so narked at me" I asked her as she looked at me wide-eyed. "For Pete's sake Sophie" She grumbled. "Sian… I wouldn't resent you for it" I stated as she looked away from me. "Come here" I said snaking my arms around her waist. She didn't want to kiss me. I cupped her face pushing my lips against hers as she reciprocated. I pushed her against the kitchen counter deepening the kiss. It had been so long since we were together. "Soph" she moaned as I glided my tongue over hers. I lifted her up on the counter as she snaked her legs around my waist holding me close letting our lips move against one another. _

"_God I missed this" I heard her whisper very quietly as I started kissing her neck. "Soph" she said her gaze getting darker as I lifted her up and took her to our bed. "I love you" I whispered in her ear while undressing her. "Jesus" I moaned as I felt her hands cup my ass. My lips synchronizing with hers making her moaned as she tangled her hands in my hair. "Tell me again… tell me you love me" she breathed as we broke the kiss. "I… I love you… I love you" I kept repeating against her skin as she arched her back. "Soph" she whispered delighted as I got rid of her underwear placing myself between her legs and let my tongue graze trough her wet folds. "Jesus" she yelped as I found the swollen nob making her even more wet by circling it. She put her hands on my head increasing the pressure as her juices were dripping from her center. I thrusted two fingers in making her moan so loudly as my other hand cupped her breast. _

"_Oh fuck" she panted beckoning her hips as I picked up a pace. "Soph … i… fuck" she breathed heavily as I thrusted another finger in her making voice sounds that burned my ears. "I'm gonna come" she panted as the phone rang. I slowed my pace down. "Leave it… please I'm almost there" she whimpered as I hesitated. "Please Sophie for once just leave it…" she screamed as I picked up my pace again making her whimper. "Yeah… fuuuckk" she moaned as the pleasure rippled through, her legs shuddering as she came. I took my fingers out her and got back to her eyes. Her eyes were still closed as she was panting uncontrollably. I kissed her lips as I felt her smile. I got up and took my phone as I felt Sian hold me back. "Where are you going" she asked bewildered. "I need to check who called me" I stated as she pushed me back on the bed. "That can wait" she smiled as she started kissing me. "Sian" I said as she started whispering all sorts to me. "Sian stop" I said as I pushed her away. "Why" she asked with a high pitch voice._

"_Look it might be work" I stated. "So what? You just fuck me and leave me? It's 10 fucking pm Sophie it can wait." She snarled at me as I sighed. "I'll be just a minute okay" I said to her as she scoffed. "Fine" she mumbled dropping back on the bed. _

_I looked at the missed call and it was indeed work. After I phoned them I needed to go tell Sian I had a bunch of work to do tonight after all. I felt bad, but we had a nice moment before. "Babe" I said walking into the room. "Hey" she said tenderly as she seemed to have calmed down. "Who was it" she asked as I scrunched up my face. "Work" I stated making her sigh. _

"_I'm sorry" I said to her as she frowned. "Please don't tell me you have to work" she asked as I looked at her meaningfully. "Please stay with me" She said as I sat next to her. "I can't I have to work on this article they just dumped on me" I stated feeling genuinely frustrated with my boss. "Can't it wait till the morning" she asked me as I shook my head. "Soph" she said taking hold of my hand as I tried to get up. "I'll be besides you when you wake up" I smiled as she furrowed her brows. "No you won't… you never are! Please for once just stay with me…. We just made love Soph, do you even want to stay?" she asked me as I frowned. _

"_Sian that's a stupid question and you know it" I said to her. "Please" she whispered kissing me as I couldn't help but kiss her back. I felt her hands cupping my face pulling me closer as she pushed me back down attacking my neck. "Sian" I sighed as she continued. "Sian… not now" I said to her as I pushed her off and got off. "Why are you doing this" she asked me as I furrowed my brows. "I've told you I need to work… I'll see you in the morning okay" I said kissing her head and leaving her side. _

…_._

"You FUCKED me Sophie… we didn't make love.. I couldn't even touch you after, you couldn't stand it" she said with tears in her eyes. "I thought in the beginning of the night things could get better but when work intervened again… you made me feel _so_ cheap" she snarled at me as I just wanted to hug her. "I begged you to stay with me….I! Your wife was begging you to spend more than 1 hour with her. You broke my heart… you left me Sophie, that night you left me in bed alone" she cried as I hugged her. "I'm sorry…I'm so sorry. Work just got so stressful and I just … we just started drifting apart up till a point where I couldn't get you back" I said to her.

"When you couldn't get yourself back you mean… I was always there, trying to reach out for you, but that night… you left me there alone after we … god" she whimpered as I tried to hug her again but she slapped away my hands. "I need to get some air" she stated crying her heart out as she walked out.

…

**Sian pov**

I came back into the room as I saw Sophie lying flat on her back. "Sophie" I said as she jolted sitting up quickly. "Hey" she said smiling shyly. "Sian… I…" she said getting up cupping my face making me sigh closing my eyes. "I…I'm sorry in know that doesn't count for much but I am… and I will do anything to make this work again. I'll even quit my job, you know that… just say the word and its history" she said seriously as I frowned. "No… I don't want you to quit your job… I just want you Soph…I want you there" I said to her as she nodded. "And I need to make things up to you too. I've hurt you too so much, and I'll work on anything you want me to" I said to her as she smiled.

"So what does this mean" Sophie asked me as I walked over to the bed picking up the divorce papers she brought in earlier and ripped them in two. "Let's not say anything yet, let's just be… for a while. I know you'll have to know something and I mean so will I eventually, but can we just be without any labels… for now" I asked her as she nodded.

"Yeah" she breathed as she came closer to me. "Can I kiss you?" she whispered. "You know you never have to ask that Soph…" I said to her as I let my lips come closer to hers. "I know" she whispered kissing me softly as she wrapped her arms around my waist. "I love you" she said as we got out of the kiss. "I love you too… but let's just be" I said as she hugged me. "Just be…for now" she said as I rested my head on her shoulder.


	35. Chapter 35

Chapter 35

Sophie pov

Sian was resting her head on my shoulder as I was holding her in my arms; hugging her. I was stroking her back as she sighed groggily. "Sian... I know we haven't talked about this and I know you don't want to, but... last night, the panic attack... do I need to worry" I asked as she got out of the embrace and looked at me. "I don't know Soph... can we just handle one thing at a time... we just had a very... emotional conversation. Can we take it easy on the drama" She chuckled as I smiled nodding.

"Course we can" I said as she got back into place hugging me. "You're a fan of hugging right no aren't you" I said cheekily making her chuckle. "Sorry" she said getting out of the hug. "I just missed you that's all" she said honestly making my heart melt. "I miss you too" I whispered leaning in and kissing her gently.

"Mum can we..." Matty stormed in as we jumped apart like two teenagers sending us both into giggles. "Hey Matty" Sian said shakily as the lad looked at us suspiciously. "Uhm... can you help me with fixing my trainers for soccer please, I have a game tomorrow" he stated as Sian nodded. "Yeah I know, I'll be right there babe" she said as he left the room. I put my hand over my mouth trying to muffle my laughter as Sian slapped my arm playfully. "That was close" she said as I started laughing even harder. "It's not funny Soph..." she chuckled as I smirked. "It's kind of funny, I feel like I'm 16 again and at St. Claire's" I stated as Sian rolled her eyes. "Tell me about it" she stated smirking at me. "I need to go fix his trousers" she stated as my laughter died.

"You going to the game tomorrow right?" I asked her as she frowned. "Course I'm going, I've never missed a single one" she stated as I felt bad. I had only seen a third since he started. "Not like me hu" I said sadly regretting the past as she sighed. "No... but there's always time to catch up" she smiled as I reciprocated. "You think... I don't even know if he wants me there" I stated honestly as she furrowed her brows. "What? Of course he wants you there. Soph we all want you there" she replied as she cupped my face. "That's all all of us ever wanted" she said as I smiled. "So I guess I should get my cheer on then" I chuckled as Sian nodded.

"Okay see you later" she said getting up as I grabbed her hand. "What's wrong" she asked confused as I smirked stroking her cheek. I kissed her lips tenderly as she smiled into the kiss. "Oh" she said as we got out the kiss. "Now you can go" I said cheekily as she chuckled. She left the room as I sat down on the bed.

After what Sian and I talked about this morning, I felt guilty for putting her through that kind of pain. She might have broken the vow of staying faithful even though we were separated, but I broke so much more vows. I promised myself I would never let anyone hurt her ever... and it was me who did the crime eventually. She hurt me too in the last year, but I would do anything right now to get her trust back. I remember the day I promised myself never to let anyone hurt her ever again. It was the day we got back from our parents, telling them we were gonna get married. she cried for hours in my arms and I vouched to never let anything happen to her to get her in that state, to protect her... I guess I didn't do that. I sighed at my own thoughts.

…...

"Hey" I said as she was making dinner. "The kids not suspicious that you're here" I asked her as she turned around and chuckled. "Nah... I just told them I was gonna be here for a while, like before" she stated as I frowned. "Here?" I murmured as she shifted from one feet to another. "Yeah... shit I'm sorry I didn't think you would mind... but of course you're entitled to... mind, I mean … uggh God" she sighed at the end of her ramble as I was looking at her smiling. "What?" she said as I smirked and looked behind me to see if anyone was lurking. "You're very cute when you ramble, you know that" I said cupping her face and pecking her lips. She smiled shyly as we pulled out of the kiss and she almost started blushing. "Sian you can stay here for as long as you want, hell I'd love it if you'd move back... but one step at a time" I said having a ramble of my own as she smiled. "Okay good" she stated getting back to her cooking.

"You remember when Matt started soccer" I murmured snaking my arms around her waist as she nodded. "Yeah... I can't believe I almost didn't let him" she stated as I chuckled remembering that day.

…

_"Sian I want to do this" Matt yammered as we got back from the game. I chuckled seeing Sian helpless. "Babe help me out here" she whispered as I smirked making her frown. "Matt why don't you sleep on it" I told him as the 5 year old shook his head. "pleaaaaaaase mum" he pleaded. "How do you even know you'll like this" Sian stated as he frowned dragging her to the field._

_We had been looking at the practice for about 10 minutes as I kid got tackled and fell to the ground clutching his leg. I could see Sian's face changing as she saw the small figure in pain, crying his longs out. "NO" she said determined as she took Matt by the hand. "But Sian" he huffed stomping his feet. "No Matt, and that's final" she stated as I took her hand. "Babe..." I said. "What?" she said sounding annoyed. "Don't you think you're overreacting a bit" I stated as she looked at me wide-eyed. "Sophie did you see the kid that got tackled? I'm not having Matt screw up his legs, cause he wants to chase after a ball" she huffed as I snaked my arms around her waist. _

_"But i won't even chase it, I'be a goalie... coach said that I'd be pretty good at it and..." Matty started saying as I cut him off. "Matty they have some nice colouring books over there... see" I said pointing to the kids corner. "Why don't you go have some fun and you let your mother and I talk yeah" I said to him as he sighed and nodded heading towards the corner. _

_"Baby let's just let him have this... he seems to really want it" I stated as she snorted. "He really wanted to snorkle 2 weeks ago, but did you let him swim with them sharks? NO!" she said to me as I pursed my lips. "I know okay... look let's give him a trial and then we can see... he might get bored of it" I stated as she sighed. "What if he doens't" She asked as I turned my head to the side. "Babe we can't protect them forever" I stated as she sighed. "Don't give me the all wise maternal thing, you want to protect him as much as I do" she stated as I chuckled. "I know I do, but we need to let him do something... we can't protect him from everything... I mean we're the living proof of that. What parent expects his kid to get shot or pregnant" I stated as she looked away. "Just to think about Matty or this one getting shot makes me sick" she said rubbing her pregnant belly. _

_"I know babe..." I said as she hugged me. "I'm just scared" she stated as I nodded. "I know you are, so am I, but sometimes... we're too scared" I stated as she nodded. "What if he get's hurt" she aksed. "Then we'll fix him" I stated as she frowned fiddling with her fingers. "What if he can't be fixed" she stated as I chuckled. "What if the world was attacked by aliens and they'd suck the life out of us" I said as she frowned. "Okay bad example, but…" I started saying. "Yeah I know... okay fine... one month and we'll see" she stated as I kissed her lips tenderly. _

…

"Thank God I changed my mind" Sian chuckled. "You mean thank God I made you change your mind" I stated as she rolled her eyes. "Shut up" she said playfully as she smirked.  
…...

Sian pov

Today was game day, I was so proud when I saw Matt walking on the field in his little uniform. Sophie was cheering so loudly it only made me laugh. "What?" she asked. "Nothing you're just very enthusiastic" She laughed as Derek agreed. Matt's team starting juggling the ball. The small object was going from one player to the other till it reached the small lad in the goal. The ginger boy blocked the ball perfectly as Sophie cursed. "Damn it" she yelled. "Soph" I said nudging her. "This is a kid's game... do not swear or curse at the other team, I don't want any psycho soccer mum's on my ass" I stated making her chuckle. "I'm sorry" she stated as Derek was looking at me curiously.  
"GO Matt" Sophie cheered as the ball got to our lad. Matt was the goalie of the crew so. Matt blocked the ball jumping as Sophie and I cheered clapping our hands together eagerly. "Dumbass" We heard someone yell as Sophie turned around looking at the man. "Oi... what did you call my son" she snarled as the man just sipped at his bear. "Whatever lady" he slurred as she was about to have another go I stopped her. "Sophie stop... he's drunk, just let it go" I said holding her back as she sighed looking into my eyes. "Twat" she huffed getting her head back to the game.

After a while the score was 2-2 and the ball was heading towards Matt. The player shot the ball but Matt blocked it annoying the lad that was shooting. The boy kicked off and rushed towards Matty punching him in the stomach and kicking his legs. "Matt!" Sophie squaled in horror as he was taken off the field. Matt's team got penatly for the players row with Matt. "Is he okay" She breathed. "I don't know Soph" I said as we were about to go done we saw Matt walking back to the goal. "Matt" I smiled. "He's alright" Sophie stated relieved as I smiled taking hold of his hand. "Yeah he is" I smiled as the penatly was set up. There were only 5 seconds left in the game, so if they could make this our team would win. I held on to Sophie's hand as the crowd turned silent. As soon as they whistled the lad made his shot as the crowd held their breath. The ball brushed the goalie's hands but went into the goal as I sqeezed Sophie's hand in excitment.

"Eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeh" Sophie squealed as she started jumping up and down. "We won!" she shouted. "I know we won" I laughed as she hugged me tightly jumping up and down. "WE WON" she cheered making me laugh. "Come here" she said forgetting where she was and leaning in, cupping my face. She kissed me passionatly as I closed my eyes and grinned into the kiss. I kissed her back wrapping my arms around her waist holding her close. Our lips were moving together as her tongue was gliding over my bottom lip asking for entrance as I opened my mouth letting her in. I nearly moaned feeling her tongue battle with mine as she massaged the back of my neck. We pulled out of the kiss gasping for air as we rested our forheads together smiling. I sighed happily as she looked at me smiling. "I love you" she whispered kissing my nose making me melt as someone cleared their voice.

"Have I missed something" Derek said as I smiled shyly. I looked down hiding my smile. "We should go see Matty, make sure he's alright" Sophie said holding my hand. "Did I end up in some kind of weird flash to the past" He asked me as I chuckled shaking my head. "Guess the secret's out" I thought feeling like a school girl who just got caught snogging her brand new girlfriend.


	36. Chapter 36

Chapter 36 (final)

**Sophie pov**

We both walked down the tribunes and looked for Matty with Derek on our trail. "Hold up, are you two back together" he asked Sian as I sighed looking at her. To be honest I wasn't sure, I knew I loved her and that we weren't getting a divorce, but she needed some time and so did I. "Just leave it Derek" Sian told him as I smiled at her squeezing her hand. "But you kissed and…" he started cheering as I rolled my eyes. "Derek just shut up" I said to him making Sian laugh.

"Hey babe" I said as Matt came out of the changing rooms limping. I felt Sian's hand squeezing mine. "Matty are you okay" Sian asked worried, her expression full of fear as I entwined our fingers trying to give her some kind of comfort. "I'm fine Sian" The lad answered as I smiled. "Are you sure?" I asked him as he rolled his eyes nodding. "What did the doctor say" I asked him as he shrugged. "It's just sprained mum, I'll be fine… I'm being benched by the asshole though" he stated as my eyes almost popped out of my head. "Language" Sian screeched thinking the same thing as me as Matthew rolled his eyes once again.

"And stop rolling them eyes" Sian stated as he frowned. "Mum does it all the time" he stated as I pursed my lips looking at the ground. "Yeah well not all things are meant to be copied Matt" Sian stuttered trying to reason with the child. "But you always say it makes mum her" He answered. "Matt just don't do it" Sian said sighing as he frowned. "Why" he asked. Ugh the boy was getting way too smart, why did puberty have to start arriving early? "Because I said so" Sian stated getting another eye-roll from Matt making me chuckle as Sian shot me daggers. "Let's go home yeah" I said as Sian nodded. We all got into the car and drove home.

….

"Soph" Sian said coming into our bedroom as I turned around. "Hey, what's up" I said tenderly as she sat down on the bed. "I've been thinking, remember how we never really dated before we got married" She stated making me frown. "What? What do you mean? We were together for more than a year before we got married" I said sitting next to her. "I know but we didn't have like a light period, we were at St. Claire's first which wasn't the best place to meet the love of your life and then we moved in together and then we got married and we never really did the light dating thing…" she started rambling pouring my mind full of confusing as I silenced her by cupping her face and kissing her tenderly. She kissed me back leaning into me. I got out of the kiss resting my head against hers.

"That's what we wanted though, back then" I said as she looked down nodding. "Sian what's going on, I thought we were done trying to find the moment where it all went wrong" I said to her as she sighed. "I know I just" she stuttered as I backed away from her. "You just what" I asked her lifting her chin so her eyes would meet mine.

"What's wrong" I asked her as she shook her head. "Nothing's wrong, I just… I'm asking you to take things slow" she said to me as I furrowed my brows. "Is that what you want" I asked her as she sighed. "I don't know not really, but last time we went so fast I didn't have time to catch my breathe" she stated as I nodded understanding where she was coming from. "Tell you what, why don't I take you out on a date tonight, we can talk about everything including what happened a couple nights ago" I said making her purse her lips. "Yeah that would be nice" she stated as I smiled. "Come here" I whispered as I kissed her. "I love you and if you want to take things slow we will" I stated as she smiled at me. "Thank you" she whispered.

I picked up the phone and dialed Kathy's number. "Hi Kathy… it's Sophie" I said to her as she chuckled. "Yes Sophie how are you doing" she asked as I replied. "I'm fine thanks how are you" I asked her as she replied the same as me. "I'm calling because I need a favour" I said to her as I could hear her smirking on the other side. "What do you need" She replied. "You're help I'm taking Sian out for dinner and.." I started saying as she interrupted me.

"Wait… ha I knew you two would work it out! Now tell me how you two lovebirds got back together" she started swooning as I groaned. "Kath I'll tell you later just help me first" I stated making her laugh.

….

**Sian pov**

Omg, omg omg omg omg! My mind was freaking out when I was standing at the front door of my own house and I saw her walking down the steps in a beautiful dress. Derek agreed to watch the kids for the night if we promised to tell him what the hell was going on after. If only I knew. I knew I wanted to take things slow and we were still married after all, but were we emotionally? "Hey, you look beautiful" Sophie said pulling me out of my thoughts.

"So do you, are you ready to go" I asked as Sophie led me out of the house and into the car. "Where are we going" I asked her as she shrugged. "Soph" I giggled. "Tell me" I said to her as she looked at me cheekily." You'll see when we arrive" she said to me as I sighed and nodded.

"Here we are" she cheered after a half an hour drive. "Where are we" I questioned as she smirked. "Come on Sian doesn't it look a tiny bit familiar" she asked me as I was trying to make sense of my environment. "Well its dark and you know how my orientation is when the sun ain't shining" I said pouting a bit. "Dooon't" she moaned kissing my lips. "This is where we had our first anniversary" she said to me as I frowned.

"What do you mean…" I asked as she nodded smiling. "We're at the cabin?" I said frowning. "yeah. I phoned them and asked if we could use it" she stated. "Are you serious?" I questioned making her chuckle. "I'm serious" she stated opening the door revealing a small table at candle light and an open fire. "Soph" I breathed as my eyes settled upon the romantic setting. "It's beautiful" I stated as she smiled. "Come one" she said as she lead me to the table.

"This is really great Soph" I said to her as she put the dish on the table. "Mac n' cheese" I chuckled as she took my hand in hers. "I thought you'd like that" she stated as I nodded smiling at her.

…

"Yeah I remember" She said laughing as we had been reminiscing the whole night about this place. "I love you" she breathed as I sighed happily. "I love you too" I stated squeezing her hand. "Sian I hate to bring this up, but I need you to talk about it" she started saying as I cut her off knowing what she was on about. "I know… look I never expected to go back to my school, to that hallway… I just wasn't prepared and I've been off my meds for years now so…" I said sighing. "And the nightmares" she murmured. "To be honest I've had them for a while" I said shrugging as she frowned at me. "Since when" she asked as I sighed yet again. "About a year now, they come and go" I stated as she looked at me in pity. "Don't look at me like that Soph" I said to her as she looked away.

"Since we 'broke' up" she said flexing her fingers making me chuckle a bit. "I guess" I sighed as she entwined our fingers. "I'm never letting you go again, I promise" she stated making me smile shyly. "You cold" she said as I shivered a little. "Yeah" I breathed as she tugged at my hand leading me to the open fire. "Come here" she said wrapping a blanket round the both of us. I rested my head on her shoulder as she wrapped her arms around me. "Thank you for this" I said to her as she smiled. "I'd do anything for ya, you know that" she stated as I felt my heart flutter. I had the sudden urge to kiss her skin. I leaned up and kissed her neck. I found myself not wanting to stop.

"Sian" she breathed as I cupped her cheek and pushed my body into her, my lips attached to her skin. "What are y…babe" she moaned as I started pushing her down on her back. Our lips met as she wrapped her arms around my back. I kissed her passionately as she started stroking my back under my shirt. I shivered at her touch as I started kissing tenderly down her cheekbone to her neck. "Wait" she said stopping her movements and startling mine. "What are we doing" she asked me as I felt a bit hurt. "What do you think we're doing" I said stating the obvious.

"I thought we were gonna take things slow" she stated as I sighed. "Fuck slow" I said kissing her again as he stopped me again. "Sian" she said sternly. "I can't have you change your mind every 2 minutes, I need to know where I stand…we're in this together." she stated as I got off her feeling guilty. I didn't consider how she felt about this. "I'm sorry" I said as she turned her head to the side. "Baby I want to, don't get me wrong… I just need to know okay, I can't have you turning back to going slow or worse to going nowhere in the morning… it would hurt too much" she stated as I sighed feeling more guilty. "I won't turn in the morning… I'm completely sober and I'm just asking as your wife to please…just…" she stumbled over her words as I lifted her chin kissing her lips. "So you're my wife then" she asked me as I smiled lightly.

"I am" I whispered looking at her as I could see in her eyes she knew I meant it. She kissed me passionately as I smiled into the kiss. I cupped her face as she pushed me down on the blanket to the floor. Our lips started moving synchronized as she was stroking her sides making me gasp for air. I loved her so much, I couldn't believe more than a year had gone by and I hadn't felt her touch. I started licking her lips begging her for entrance as she granted it let my tongue caress her own. "Soph" I moaned in her mouth as she pushed a thigh between my legs making me very flustered. She started sucking on my neck leaving a mark as the throbbing between my legs grew bigger.

"I love you" she whispered in my ear sending me into oblivion, her breathe making the hair on my back stand up. "Babe" I breathed as she started kissing my shoulders pushing the straps of my dress aside. She took off my dress as I unzipped hers. She looked at me so intensely as I took her dress off revealing her naked breasts. I started panting at the sight as I could see her eyes getting darker as she unclipped my bra and let it fall to the sides. She was kissing my collarbone sucking on it, nibbling the skin above my heart as I felt myself getting wet.

She found my nipple and started sucking on it as she cupped my breast. "Soph" I moaned as I felt her tongue twirling round my nipple making her way down to my stomach kissing every inch of skin that was left. She rested her fingers at the waistband of my knickers as she looked at me for some kind of final consent. I smiled as she bit her lip pulling them off slowly. I laid my head down breathing heavily as she started making her way down as she finally reached her destination. "Soph" I moaned as she was lapping her tongue against my center. I quickly tangled my hands in her hair beckoning my hips upwards. "You're so wet" she whispered making me moan harder. She put her arm under my leg lifting it stroking it as she started circling my clit. "Babe" I moaned as I felt the pleasure building up the more violent she got.

"Oh my god" I moaned as I felt two fingers being pushed inside of me sending shivers down my spine. I could feel her fingers exiting and entering my folds as her tongue kept up a delightful pace on my clit. "Jesus" I panted as she quickened her pace curling her finger hitting the right spot. She was sending me up and down, I couldn't handle it anymore as I closed my eyes letting her push me over the edge. "Soph.. I'm gonna… fuck ..Oh my" I moaned coming all over her fingers and mouth as I rush of wetness dripped down my center and my legs trembled. She kept up a small pace as I felt her tongue sucking up all the juice letting me ride out my orgasm.

"Fucking hell" I panted as I felt her kissing her way up until she met my eyes. "Hi" she whispered smiling. "Hi" I breathed heavily as she took out her fingers making me bite my tongue. "That was… I missed you" I said smiling as she chuckled kissing me. "I missed you too" she whispered in my mouth.

She looked so beautiful her dark hair hanging down by one side. I felt the urge to kiss her, send her into as much oblivion as she did for me. I flipped her over making her squeal. I pushed her arms over her head entwining our finger as I returned the favour many times that night.

…

I woke up feeling her arms wrapped around me as sunbeams were shining through the cabinet windows. I leaned into her touch as I felt her stir. "Hey" I heard her whisper as I turned my face to meet her. "Morning" I said to her as she pecked my lips. "Did you sleep alright... with this wooden floor and all" she asked me as I smiled nodding. "I slept well" I answered as she smiled at me. She rested her face in the crook of my neck as she hugged me tight from behind. She breathed kissing my neck tenderly. "Last night was nice" she said as I nodded sighing happily. "It was amazing Soph" I stated.

"Sian … what does this mean for us, are we still just being… like this" she said slipping her thigh between my legs as I chuckled. I couldn't really just be with her after all this. I wanted it all, like we used to be. "I want us… married, how we used to be… well not how we used to be but how we were in the beginning before.." I started rambling as she kissed my cheek. "I know… we'll have to work on things though" she stated making me nod. "But its worth it right" I stated as she smiled. "Yeah it is" she stated. "When are we telling the kids… and all the rest" she said chuckling as I turned my body in her embrace.

"Well why don't we do it once we get back" I stated as she smiled. "That would be great" she said kissing me.

**10 years later**

"Hmmm lunch" Sophie said snaking her hands round my waist as I was cutting the sandwiches. I chuckled as I felt her kiss my neck. "Yes lunch" I said grinning as we heard the door slam. Matt appeared as Sophie frowned untangling herself from me. "Oi, aren't you supposed to be at school" Sophie said sternly as Matt sighed seemingly upset.

"What's wrong" I asked him as he shrugged. "Did summit happen at school" Sophie asked him. "Will you two just leave me alone, I'm 17 for fuck sake… I don't need to tell you everything." He snapped as I looked at Sophie. "Right" Sophie said as she sighed. "Matt.." I started as he groaned. "Shannon and I just broke up with that's all" he stated as I sighed looking him. "I'm sorry babe" I said to him as he nodded and dropped down on the sofa.

"Right I'm off to work…but I can be a bit late" she said looking at Matt as I shook my head. "No I'll handle it" I whispered as she smiled gratefully. "I love you" she said as she kissed my lips. She was getting out of the kiss as I held onto her by her collar. "I love you too" I stated as she smiled. "You still cooking tonight right" I said to her as she smirked at me nodding. I kissed her more passionately this time as we heard Matt started to huff. "Do you really need to do that when I'm here, Jeech get a room" he huffed as we got out of the kiss. "We got one" Sophie chuckled slapping my bum playfully. "Ew" Matt stated as he looked back at the tv.

"Alright I'm off, see you tonight babe" she said pecking my lips as she started walking towards the door. "You too Matt" she stated getting a nod from the lad.

"Okay you gonna tell me what happened or do I need to pull it out" I said as Sophie walked out sitting down next to him. "We just broke up" he said shrugging. "Matt I can see you're upset, I'm your mother, so drop the act" I said as he looked at me so vulnerable. "Sorry… I just can't believe it" he stated leaning backwards as I gave him a sympathetical smile. "What happened" I asked him as he started to tell me bout the clinging and the nonchalant rollercoaster.

"Matt just talk to her about it… nothing's ever easy, look at me and your mum" I said to him. "Yeah but you two are together" he stated. "Uhh do I need to remind you of the hard times me and your mum went through" I said to him as he sighed. "Yeah yeah I know" he huffed. "Look all I'm saying is people make mistakes, try to work it out... You never know it might be the love of your life" I stated making him smile a little.

"You and mum got lucky finding that one person at such a young age" he stated making me chuckle. "Wouldn't call the age lucky, but I am very blessed to have her now yes" I stated as he got up. "Where you going" I asked him as he rolled his eyes. "To sort it out" he stated giving me a 'duhh' look as I laughed watching him leave. Two minutes after Matt left I heard the door unlock. "Did you forget summit" I asked expecting to see Matt as Sophie came through the door. "What you still doing here" I said raising an eyebrow. "Well… yanno, I'm just checking if… "She said looking down playing with the sandwich.

"Leave the sandwich alone babe" I stated as I walked towards her wrapping my arms around her neck. "You are such a hover mum" I sated as she rolled her eyes. "Well what can I say… you love me anyways" she smirked getting a chuckle out of me. "Yes I do" I said kissing her lips. "Now go... you'll be late for work" I said slapping her ass as she looked at me devilishly. "You're gonna get it when I get back yanno" she stated as smirked. "I'm counting on it" I said cheekily as she laughed leaving the house. I started preparing myself to go back to the shop as I found myself looking at old pictures. Our wedding, Lily's first birthday, the kids' first high school uniform, the renewal of our vows,... I felt myself getting very happy as I recalled all the beautiful memories I had stored up.


End file.
